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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224614">Just Like Her Mother</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseClara28/pseuds/RoseClara28'>RoseClara28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Piece of Her [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Good Doctor (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Bit of Sexually Explicit Material Mentioned in Chapter 17, ADHD, Canon Autistic Character, Chapter 14 is a little sad, Drama, Family, Fatherhood, Fluff, Friendship, Future Fic, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Death in Chapter 19, Milestones, Other, Periods, Puberty, Single Father Shaun, Trigger warning: ableism, adhd author, autistic author, trigger warning: bullying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:00:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseClara28/pseuds/RoseClara28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaun is a single father raising the child he had with Lea. Sequel to "A Piece of Her".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Glassman &amp; Shaun Murphy, Lea Dilallo/Shaun Murphy (background), Shaun Murphy &amp; Carly Lever, Shaun Murphy &amp; Original Shea Child</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Piece of Her [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Happy Birthday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story follows Shaun's life as a single father; starting from her first birthday to her first day of high school.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun has a special gift for Nell for her first birthday.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not sure if I got Lea and Shaun's facial features right. I had to google dominant and recessive traits and analyze close-up pictures of Shaun and Lea.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was May 30, 2022, Nell's first birthday.</p><p>For Shaun, it was hard to believe that she was already one. Although Shaun and Lea did not enjoy the newborn stage, it felt like it was only yesterday that she was just a tiny blob of cuteness fresh out of the womb.</p><p>Now, she was already walking and getting into everything, and she had enough hair on her head for it to be put in a ponytail. She wasn't talking or even babbling just yet (she was mostly quiet), which could or could not mean that she was autistic like Shaun, but unlike many other parents, Shaun didn't fret about that. He didn't say his first word until he was six, so Nell probably wouldn't start talking this early as well. However, Shaun figured that since autistic females usually didn't have delayed language development, Nell would probably start speaking earlier than he expects whether she is on the spectrum or not.</p><p>Nell was also starting to look more and more like Lea, and everyone agreed with Shaun on that. She had her father's blue eyes and probably his lip and mouth shape as well, but she had her mother's curly dark brown hair, attached earlobes, and straight nose. And speaking of Lea, that was the most painful part about this day; she wasn't there to be celebrating their daughter's birthday. Besides not being a big fan of parties and being too busy, that was the reason why Shaun didn't want to throw a big party for his child's first birthday like most parents would.</p><p>Nell had gotten a few gifts (unwrapped, at Shaun's request because he didn't like wasting wrapping paper or paper) of clothes and toys from Dr. Glassman, Debbie, and Donnie, but Shaun had one special gift in particular for her...which was neither a toy nor an article of clothing.</p><p>It was 7:00 in the evening and Shaun had seven hours left before his shift would start and one hour left before Nell's bedtime, so he decided to go ahead and present Nell's special birthday gift.</p><p>"I have one last gift for you, Nell," he said to the little girl, who was in the middle of the living room, sitting on her woodland animal playmat and playing with her rubber blocks. Shaun scooped her up into his arms and then walked into his room to retrieve the gift before sitting himself and Nell back on the couch. "I saved it for last."</p><p>Shaun hoisted Nell into his lap so she could perfectly see her birthday gift: a memorabilia photo album of her mother (although she didn't know it yet). The album contained photos of Lea and other things of hers. They were all sent in a package by Donnie a week or two ago.</p><p>Shaun explained each photo and its significance to Nell.</p><p>Three of the photos in the album were just formal family portraits of Lea, Donnie, and her parents. One of them was taken in 1992 and another was taken in 2001. The third one was a Christmas card photo from 1994, where Lea was holding a Care Bear.</p><p>"That's your mom, your Uncle Donnie, your Grandpa Donald, and your Grandma Virginia," explained Shaun, pointing to each and every face.</p><p>Seven of the photos were school portraits of Lea. Two of them were from elementary school: her Kindergarten portrait from 1997 and her 2nd grade portrait (where she was missing her two front teeth) from 1999. One of them was from middle school: her 6th grade portrait from 2003, where she was wearing braces. The rest of them were from Lea's high school years. She still had her braces in her freshman year photo, making her mouth and smile slightly different. Her hair was styled in face-framing layers with piecy bangs. Her braces were gone in the other three, where she had her hair in the style of a zigzag part. In her senior year photo, she was wearing a red off-the-shoulder dress.</p><p>Nine photos were just pictures of Lea and her brother. One of them was of a three-year-old Donnie sitting on what was probably the sofa in the hospital room, holding Lea as a newborn. He was not smiling in the photo, so he probably didn't like having a baby sister. He told him he once punched Lea in the face when she was a baby. Another photo was a picture of a five-year-old Donnie dressed as Spiderman and a two-year-old Lea dressed as a bunny. Donnie was smiling straight into the camera while Lea looked away from it and stared at something else as she chewed on her fingers. In the one dated 1995, Donnie and Lea were sitting on a bench on their grandparents' back porch, smiling happily. In the picture dated 1996, Lea and Donnie were dressed up in their Sunday bests inside their church. Another picture displayed the two siblings in their bathing suits on the edge of the dock of their lake house on the fourth of July. Lea, who was four, was standing while Donnie, who was seven, was sitting, dunking his feet in the water. There was one picture of a five-year-old Lea and a nine-year-old Donnie on their first day of school. Lea definitely looked cute in that pink sweater, that navy cardigan skirt, those white and black Mary Janes, and that pink bow in her curly short hair with her Care Bear lunchbox and Care Bear backpack. The rest of the three photos of the two of them were taken when they were teenagers. In one of them, they were both at the table at Thanksgiving in 2004; Donnie's arm over Lea's shoulder. In another one, Lea (who was a freshman) and Donnie (who was a senior), were posing in formal attire for the 2006 homecoming dance. Lea was in a long black dress. The last photo was a professional photo of a 15-year-old Lea and an 18-year-old Donnie posing in front of a solid background.</p><p>"That's your Uncle Donnie, the person who gave me these pictures," Shaun pointed out. "He's your mommy's older brother. Unlike your Uncle Steve, your Uncle Donnie is still alive."</p><p>There were six photos of Lea and her father. Four of them were taken when Lea was a baby. One of the pictures was dated the exact day Lea was born, September 13, 1991. Donald, who was dressed in scrubs, was smiling under his paper mask as he held a wrapped-up newborn Lea. There was another photo of a four-week-old Lea was being cradled in Donald's arms as he sat in a comfy armchair. In the photo that was dated New Years Eve of 1991, Donald was wearing a bathing suit with Lea in his arms. Shaun assumed that this was their annual New Years Eve polar bear plunge at their lakehouse. In the picture that was dated February 11, 1992, Lea sleeping on top of Donald's chest as he slept on the couch. There was a photo of the two of them from Christmas of 2003, where they were standing in the kitchen with an arm around each other. There was also a photo of them that was taken in 2002.</p><p>"That's your mom with her father," said Shaun. "And that is the woman who you are named after," he explained when he showed Nell the photo of Lea and Donnie with their grandparents that was dated October 12, 1991. Rod and Ellie were sitting on the couch with their grandchildren; Donnie in Rod's lap and Lea in Ellie's lap. Right next to that photo was a picture of Rod holding a two-month-old Lea somewhere in the outdoors.</p><p>There were three photos of Lea and her grandmother. In the picture dated November 4, 1992, a one-year-old Lea was happily holding up a pink Care Bear with a rainbow on its white belly, showing it to the camera as Ellie was kneeling down next to her. In one photo, an eight-year-old Lea was helping Ellie with some Thanksgiving dish. In another photo from Christmas, a 16-year-old Lea was in her pajamas with her hair in a messy bun as she sat next to Ellie on the couch, reading something; probably a card.</p><p>Another three photos were of Rod, Donnie, and Lea together going on adventures. There was a picture of Lea on her first trip to Alaska with Donnie and her Grandpa Rod, dated January 3, 1994. The three of them were sitting on a giant log (Lea in Rod's lap and Donnie right next to them) and looking up at something in the sky. In another photo from 1998, the three of them were at a car show, standing in front of a car that was probably from the 1970s. In the third photo from 2002, the three of them were all on a camping trip, sitting around the campfire.</p><p>14 of the pictures were just close-ups of Lea. One of them was a 1997 close-up of Donald, Donnie, and Lea in life jackets on a boat. Shaun assumed this was at the lake house. Another one of them, which was snapped in 2000, was a close-up of Lea in a white t-shirt. In another picture, a 14-year-old Lea was carefully holding a baby chick, smiling at it the way she would smile at a baby. Another was a photo of Lea in a jean jacket, smiling as she stood right by the mailbox. There was another close-up of Lea in a black cap and a black t-shirt, posing on a ladder in some kind of room. There were also close-ups of a ten-year-old Lea posing in a black fedora, a 12-year-old Lea dying Easter eggs, a 15-year-old Lea in a white shirt with her backpack on her back and her hair pulled up, Lea at age 16, a 17-year-old Lea at church in a nice dress, a 17-year-old Lea playing pool, a 17-year-old Lea sitting on her bed, an 18-year-old Lea at a baseball game, and an 18-year-old Lea in her high school graduation dress.</p><p>Seven of the photos were Lea with some friends. One of them was an 11-year-old Lea and her friend Kaitlyn (according to the back of the photo) posing together dressed as Zombies for Halloween. In a photo taken in the summer of 2005, a 13-year-old Lea was posing on a rock with her friends Kaitlyn and Brittany. Shaun thought they almost reminded him of the Plastics in <em>Mean Girls</em>. Three of these photos (one from 2007, one from 2009, and one from 2010) were just close-ups of Lea and Brittany. Two of the photos were Lea and Brittany on prom night, minutes before Lea's heart got shattered by her ex-boyfriend. They were sitting next to each other on the couch in one of them and posing with their backs against each other in the other. In both of the photos, Lea was wearing a long dark green prom dress with a corset and an open back. She had a face full of make-up and her hair was in a curly bob.</p><p>Besides her prom photos, there were six photos of Lea in nice dresses. Two of them were from Easter. She was wearing a purple dress in the 2000 photo. In the 1993 photo, Lea was wearing a fancy frilly white dress, shoes, and socks, holding her Easter basket as she searched for eggs in her backyard. Two of the photos from 1998 were of Lea at church. In the one with her at communion, she was wearing a frilly white dress and a veil, looking like a mix between a bride and a flower girl. In the other, she was wearing her purple Sunday best. In the photo dated December 28, 1996, Lea was in a nice blue formal dress (probably at a Christmas party), making a funny face at the camera while she played with her Care Bears. In another photo, Lea was in a backless red dress with her hair done up nicely. She was looking in the mirror, putting on lipstick as she was getting ready for the 2007 homecoming dance.</p><p>There were 11 casual photos of Lea alone. In one photo from 1992, an eight-month-old Lea was standing up inside her crib and leaning against the rails, smiling at the camera. There was another photo of a 13-year-old Lea in pajamas on her bed, holding a phone in her hand. She almost looked like Lizzie Maguire if she were a brunette. There was also a photo of Lea standing by the door of her house on her first day of high school. She was wearing jeans, a black short-sleeved shirt, and a necklace. Two of the photos were from a time when Lea went rock climbing somewhere during the summer of 2008. In both of the photos, she was wearing a green camouflage tank top and beige hiking shorts with her hair in a ponytail. One photo was of her sitting on the grass and the other was of her actually rock-climbing. There were also pictures of a six-year-old Lea swinging on the swings at a park, an eight-year-old Lea was cuddling a puppy close to her, a nine-year-old Lea building a snowman, an 11-year-old Lea relaxing in a giant chair somewhere, a 15-year-old Lea relaxing on the couch, and a 17-year-old Lea proudly holding a fish she just caught.</p><p>Four photos were of Lea doing gymnastics-related things. The first one was taken in October of 1998, where a seven-year-old Lea was trying to do the beginner-level splits. The second one was taken in May of 1999, where Lea was doing something on the balance beam. The third one was taken in May of 2005, where a 13-year-old Lea was doing the uneven bars. The fourth one was taken in May of 2006, where a 14-year-old Lea was doing a floor exercise.</p><p>"Your mommy did gymnastics for seven or eight years," shared Shaun. "She even won two championships."</p><p>Five of the photos were Lea celebrating her birthday. One of them was an adorable picture of Lea on her third birthday, wearing a Care Bears t-shirt. She was happily holding a brand new stuffed Care Bear, a yellow one with a smiling sun on its belly. In the picture from September 13, 1999, Lea was celebrating her eighth birthday, about to take a big bite out of the cake. There was one photo of Lea on her ninth birthday where she was standing right outside of her door and a picture of Lea excitedly opening a present on her tenth birthday. The last birthday picture was of Lea on her 13th birthday, wearing a special tiara that said "Birthday Queen". She looked so happy in this photo as well as the rest of them. She would be celebrating her 31st birthday in September of this year and she would have gotten a marriage proposal on her 30th birthday.</p><p>Three of them were portraits of her posing in her sports uniforms in high school. In one of them, she was posing with a baseball bat and wearing a ponytail and a baseball cap. In another one, she was posing on her stomach with her legs up, wearing long sleeves and short shorts with her hair down, holding a volleyball. In the third one, she was posing in her long-sleeved cheerleading uniform with pom-poms; she had a huge bow in her hair (to be honest, he thought she looked horrible in that bow). She was smiling in all of them.</p><p>The rest of the four photos were just professional solo pictures of Lea. In the professional photo dated December 2, 1995, a four-year-old Lea was posing in a red holiday dress in white tights, black Mary Janes, and a red ribbon in her hair, sitting next to a display Christmas tree surrounded by displayed presents. Three of the photos were taken when Lea was a teenager. She was posing in front of a river backdrop in one of them. In the other one, she was posing on a fake rock in front of a fake forest; her jacket tied around her waist. The fourth one was a portrait of Lea in her graduation gown and cap holding her high school diploma. Her hair was down and she was smiling.</p><p>"Happy Birthday, Nell," granted Shaun as he kissed his daughter on the forehead. "But, it is time for bed now. You can always look at this photo album when you're older so you'll never forget your mother. You look just like her in some of these photos."</p><p>Once Nell was tucked in for the night, Shaun could tell that Nell was going to grow up to look just like Lea. In about two months, it was going to officially be Shaun's first year without Lea, and it was always going to be hard, and so was every single one of Nell's birthdays in the future.</p><p>To Shaun, all of these photos reminded him of what he and Steve were deprived of: a happy childhood. He was going to make sure that Nell had a happy childhood she deserved. It's what Lea also would have wanted for her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The photos of a younger Lea are supposed to symbolize her life and how happy she was.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Poppy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun and Nell adopt a kitten.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know what you think, especially with the references to the episode "Hubert".</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shaun felt complete with his two-year-old daughter in his life, but besides Lea and Steve, something else was missing in his life. He wanted a pet. Buttercup, the rabbit he had when he was 14, was always a great emotional support animal for him. He also thought that besides him, Nell could use a friend around the house.</p><p>Albert recently died, so Shaun thought that maybe it was time for him and Nell to get a new emotional support animal for themselves; something like a cat. Because his father hated cats, Dr. Glassman wouldn't allow him to have a cat, the landlord at his old apartment didn't allow pets, and Lea was allergic to cats, the only pet cat Shaun ever had in his life were the ones that showed up on his porch.</p><p>Hopefully, Nell didn't inherit Lea's cat allergy.</p><p>Five years ago, Shaun and Lea were talking about getting a pet a couple of weeks after moving into this apartment. Going to the pet store with Lea was one of his favorite memories of her. He wanted a cat, but she was allergic to them. She wanted a dog, but he thought dogs were too rambunctious.</p><p>Shaun could have gotten another fish like they did when Hubert died, but the problem with those kinds of pets was the fact that they were kind of boring and that they didn't live long.</p><p>At this moment, Shaun was sitting with Nell on the couch and talking to her about going to the animal shelter and getting a cat. She wasn't speaking quite yet, but Shaun could communicate with her very well in their own way.</p><p>"How would you feel about getting a pet?" Shaun asked the toddler, who was fiddling with her kitten security blanket. "Would you like to get a kitty?"</p><p>Nell nodded her head up and down, indicating that she wanted to get a pet. She was displaying an excited expression on her face. She shook her security blanket up and down in enthusiasm. Her body language said it all.</p><p>"We're getting a cat!" He exclaimed excitedly, scooping the little girl into his arms and then happily dancing around with her throughout the apartment.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> "You didn't kill Hubert. He was defective. We'll try again," said Shaun, standing next to Lea as they glared at the swimming fish in the tank. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Thank you, Shaun. Caring for a fish won't sort out my problems," she sighed before she pointed to a fish. "Well, that one is pretty cute." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Platies are very hearty fish. They are difficult to kill." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lea giggled at his words. </em>
</p><p>Shaun and Nell arrived at the animal shelter wearing earplugs and headphones, good enough to distract them from the noisy barking dogs. Shaun held Nell on his hip as he walked into the building.</p><p>When Nell saw the litters of kittens in the cages, she pointed at them with excitement.</p><p>"Your daughter must really like cats," the woman at the reception desk observed Nell, noticing her kitten security blanket and the shirt that Nell was wearing, which had a kitten on it. She smiled at the little girl.</p><p>"Yes, we're getting a kitten," Shaun said monotonously, excited. "It's mostly for me, but it's also going to be for her. An emotional support pet would be good for both of us. Our fish died and it's been lonely since her mom died."</p><p>"I'm sorry," the receptionist, Haley (it's what was on her name tag), sighed before continuing. "I'll let the two of you look at the cats, and then you can pick one or two or maybe even more, and we'll have you play with him or her and see what you think."</p><p>"Okay."</p><hr/><p>Shaun and Nell had played with three kittens so far - an orange calico, a black American shorthair, and a white American shorthair. Right now, they were playing with a grey American shorthair kitten, and she was very playful and friendly compared to the other ones. The orange calico was too noisy, the black cat was too clawy and rambunctious, and the white cat was just too damn boring.</p><p>And so far, Nell hasn't been showing any signs of allergies.</p><p>Seeing her playing with kittens reminded Shaun of the moment when Lea played with the puppies at the pet store. Except this time, Shaun would have to interfere and keep Nell from pulling on the cats' tails, putting her finger up their butts, lying on them, hitting them, poking them, or squeezing them.</p><p>"Eleanor, don't torment the kitty," he would say assertively. "Be nice and gentle!"</p><p>The grey kitten rubbed herself up against him and Nell, marking her scent on them and showing them affection. She was purring and kneading her paws on them.</p><p>"She's very affectionate, smart, and independent. This one is perfect," Shaun said quietly as he waved the cat toy in the cat's face, looking at Nell and seeing if she approved.</p><p>She nodded a yes and clapped with excitement. They were taking this cat home with them. Now all that needed to be done was for Poppy to get her shots, get de-wormed, and get spayed.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> "He looks like a Hubert," said Lea, who was sitting on the sofa, as she stared at the brand new goldfish in the bowl. Shaun was sitting in the chair across from her with his feet propped up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "The pH should be maintained within a range of 7.1 to 7.3.," shared Shaun as he read from the instruction manual he and Lea were provided. Lea turned her head and looked at him. "And we're supposed to add three drops of Klor-out to neutralize the tap water." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lea turned back towards Hubert and continued talking to and cooing at him. "Don't worry, Hubert. Daddy just shows his love in a different way." </em>
</p><p>Shaun and Nell stared at their brand new kitten, who was in the middle of the area between the kitchen and the living room meowing happily and wildly playing with one of Nell's socks. It was a very entertaining thing for the two of them to see and was way more interesting than watching Albert swim around in his bowl.</p><p>The cat needed a name.</p><p>"She looks like a Poppy. We'll call her Poppy," decided Shaun, who thought it was the perfect name for someone so tiny and cute as a mouse.</p><p>There was no way Poppy was going to die after only being with them for only a day like Hubert did. Shaun had Poppy tested for everything and she had been de-wormed, so there was no need for him to worry about him or Nell getting a hookworm if their furry little friend ever scratched them.</p><p>Shaun smiled as Nell reached out to pet Poppy, who then started nibbling on her fingers (she was going to be doing that for a while). He was expecting Nell to start crying and freaking out, but she was surprisingly enjoying it. Poppy licking and nibbling her seemed to not bother Nell too much. They were definitely going to be best buddies.</p><p>Lea may not have been a cat person, but her daughter surely was. Aside from Shaun's blue eyes and possibly his autism, it was another thing she took from her father.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you all noticed that I'm giving out clues that Nell is on the spectrum, too :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Like Father, Like Daughter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun gets Nell screened for an autism diagnosis.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's been so long since I updated, but here's the third chapter. I must warn you all that it can get a bit controversial when it discusses ableism and eugenics. Also, I really hate the term "geriatric pregnancy" (if you're wondering how this is relevant, you'll see why later). And one more thing, in case you forgot from my last work, Carly is married to Dr. Patrick Robinson (the head of St. Bonaventure's pharmacy) and they have a son who is a year younger than Nell.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nell often had playdates with Henry Robinson, Carly and Pat's two-year-old son. Shaun, Carly, and Pat often organized playdates for their children, but even that didn't come without conflict since both of the rugrats were in the self-centered possessive phase of the grabby "everything is mine" stage of toddlerhood. One time, Nell had a meltdown and hit Henry when he snatched her plush kitten security blanket out of her hands. Another time, Henry got aggressive and pulled Nell's hair when he saw her playing with one of his toys.</p><p>Thankfully, their parents were patient with them as they were very well aware that this was natural and typical in children their age and remembered how they had similar fights with their siblings and cousins at that age. They were working on teaching their children common courtesy towards others and being mindful of other peoples' possessions.</p><p>However, Henry was the only child Nell would play with. She would sometimes play with her cousin Mateo (who was the same age as her), but that was only during the summertime whenever her Uncle Donnie would visit. Instead of playing with other children, she often preferred to play by herself or with Poppy.</p><p>And that wasn't the only thing.</p><p>Nell was officially three-years-old and she still hasn't said her first word yet; she was mostly quiet. Furthermore, she was somewhat oversensitive to sound and she often lined up her toys the exact same way Shaun would when he was her age. Carly told him that her sister Andie also did that as a toddler.</p><p>At Nell's regular check-ups, Dr. Espinoza, the pediatrician, always checked for signs of developmental delays. And just like Shaun expected, Dr. Espinoza referred him to a specialist at San Fransico Municipal for an evaluation when she told him that she thought Nell could be autistic, just like him.</p>
<hr/><p>Nell sat in Shaun's lap as the psychologist on the other side of the desk asked him questions. Shaun went through this whole thing when he got diagnosed back in 1994 or 1995. This time, it felt weird being on the other side, as the parent of the child getting diagnosed.</p><p>The psychologist asked Shaun about Nell's social interactions, communication, and behavior and how they developed and/or changed over time.</p><p>"She often lines up her toys. She likes to play by herself and is mostly quiet. She hasn't spoken yet. She is also sensitive to loud noises," answered Shaun nervously. Nell was stimming with her kitten security blanket.</p><p>"I'm sure ASD will hopefully be detected through amniocentesis one day, and then we can work on finding a cure," the psychologist chuckled as she wrote some things down, thinking that comment would make Shaun feel better.</p><p>Shaun couldn't help but feel appalled and insulted at the psychologist's comment.</p><p>Society was hoping for a prenatal screening test for autism because they didn't like autistic people. There was already a screen test for Down Syndrome and spina bifida. The reason it was there in the first place was for the parents to make the decision on whether or not their fetus should be aborted if the results were positive (it wasn't the primary reason, but it was part of it). It was also there for parents to prepare for having a different child.</p><p>But Shaun considered his autism to be a part of who he was...and he and Lea were always prepared to have a child that wasn't normal". </p><p>Besides the ableism Nell was going to deal with, he also thought about the topic of disability and the abortion debate and also when he and Lea were both in a moral dilemma over whether or not they should get the amniocentesis test and whether or not they really wanted it.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Lea was 29 and Shaun was 28, so they were both of "normal" maternal and paternal age and this pregnancy wasn't "geriatric". However, they were still offered prenatal genetic testing by their obstetrician. Regardless of their age, Dr. Garcia offered genetic testing to all of her patients.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Prenatal genetic testing was a very sensitive topic for Shaun as an autistic person. Lea was very understanding of that, and so was Dr. Garcia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Besides autism, Shaun and Lea didn't mind if their child had Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy, or spina bifida. They didn't care if their child was born without a limb or two. They didn't care if their child was deaf or blind or both.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Overall, they didn't care what their child would look like or what disabilities their child would have. They'd love and accept them no matter what.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Due to their disgust for eugenics of any kind, Shaun and Lea kind of wanted to skip the genetic tests. On the contrary, there were also a few reasons they didn't want to opt-out. For instance, they would prefer to know if their baby had a severe life-threatening and/or lethal, fatal condition or abnormality that would require urgent intervention.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Since it would be useful in detecting fatal birth defects, do you think we should still go through with the tests?" Lea pondered as she and Shaun were debating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It would be useful," Shaun speculated. "But the possibility of that happening is highly unlikely since we're both only in our late twenties. That doesn't make the risk impossible, though."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, it seems that we have only one advantage for going with prenatal screening, which isn't enough," sighed Lea. "What are the cons?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since Shaun was a doctor, he had knowledge of a lot of medical procedures, including amniocentesis. "False positives. Painful side effects is another. It can also increase the risk of a miscarriage. And during amniocentesis, the needle could meet the fetus during the procedure," Shaun explained. "There is also a chance that it could lead to an infection or cause the amniotic fluid to leak, which would effectively end the pregnancy."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was also the risk of rhesus disease, which was one condition that Shaun would prefer to know about sooner rather than later. However, blood tests were already performed on both of them with Rh-negative results, which meant that there was pretty much almost no risk of rhesus disease to the baby.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And most of all, the whole thing kind of feels like eugenics," Lea concluded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes. That, too."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy just because I was tested positive for Down Syndrome. I mean, it would be great to be tested for life-threatening abnormalities, but the anxiety of that sounds awful," Lea shuddered. "I mean, would you do it? If you were pregnant, would you get amniocentesis?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not really," replied Shaun. "It feels medically unnecessary right now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I agree."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After much discussion, they officially agreed to skip amniocentesis and CVS. They would be happy with the results either way and decided not to receive the kinds of tests unless they felt like they really needed them.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Nell was given tests covering her hearing, speech, language, developmental level, and social and behavioral issues. She was also presented with structured social and communication interactions where she was scored. It took hours and it was very exhausting, but after being evaluated by more than one specialist and also with the use of the updated DSM, she was finally given a diagnosis.</p><p>"Eleanor has autism spectrum disorder," the psychologist informed.</p><p>She had the same diagnosis her father had. While most parents would have been full of tears of sadness and disappointment, Shaun felt happy and relieved. She was just like him, and she had a father who could actually understand her better than most board-certified child psychologists and special education teachers.</p><p>
  <em>"Shaun, can you talk to him or something?" Claire requested to Shaun as she tried to keep a trembling Liam still and administer a sedative for the procedure. "I can't push the midazolam."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun used his hands to hold down Liam's wrists so Claire could administer the sedative. He didn't make any eye contact with Liam.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Four lights. Four doors," blurted Liam nervously.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, lots of things," said Claire, trying her best to play along and make Liam feel comfortable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"32, eight. 32, eight," Liam continued.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"32 is the number of cabinet windows and eight is the number of handles," said Shaun, still not making any eye contact with Liam or Claire, but understanding what Liam was talking about. The monitor suddenly began to beep frantically. "The end title's CO2 is rising. He needs oxygen. He has respiratory depression."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's a common reaction to midazolam," added Claire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun immediately began to administer oxygen to the teenager, and then the beeping on the monitor steadied. "CO2 is coming down," he observed. "You can proceed, Claire."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Thank you," she said quietly as the monitor continued to beep steadily. She then asked him a question. "Have you been around a lot of other autistic people?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I've never met someone with autism," Shaun admitted sadly, and it was the truth. Until now, he never met anyone on the spectrum.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh," voiced Claire sympathetically. "So, it must be nice to spend some time around Liam, then."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why?" Shaun scoffed nervously. "Why would that be nice?"</em>
</p><p>"I understand you might be upset that Eleanor has autism," the psychologist said. "She won't be able to relate to others and she won't appropriately play with her toys. She has a poorly formed theory of mind, so she won't have any empathy for others. Aloofness and failure in developing friendships..."</p><p>Shaun didn't like the ableist words the psychologist was telling him. Autistic people are lacking in empathy? Well, Shaun informed this woman that he was on the spectrum, yet she was the one who was totally lacking in empathy right now since she wasn't choosing her words carefully.</p><p>"But don't worry," the psychologist continued. "There are treatments and interventions that can help her be like other children. I know a lot of good ABA therapists and support groups for other parents with children with autism."</p><p>Shaun wasn't interested in anything the psychologist had to offer. He knew that Nell would probably need some kind of therapy in her life at some point, but it was never going to be Applied Behavioral Analysis. And Shaun absolutely did not want to spend time with any autism martyr parents or any other "support groups" designed for neurotypical parents.</p><p>Shaun was given ABA therapy as a child...and it was very traumatizing for him, especially with the enforcement of "quiet hands". He didn't want his daughter to go through the same thing; he wanted her to be allowed to stim.</p><p>
  <em>"Restraints, please! I don't want to get stuck with a needle!" A man demanded as he and a few other members of the psych ward tried to hold down a distressed, young patient on the gurney with a gash on his temple, who was fighting against them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun observed everything happen through the window. Unlike the people that were surrounding the teenage boy in distress, the young first-year resident knew exactly what was wrong with this patient.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're scaring him," he said quietly. The patient continued to fight back as Shaun walked towards them and continued to repeat the same words louder. "You're scaring him. You're scaring him!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Who are you?" One of the people holding the patient down asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dr. Shaun Murphy," replied Shaun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This patient is psychotic, Dr. Murphy!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He's not psychotic!" Shaun motioned his hands towards scene, telling them to back away from the patient so he could have some space. "You don't like people touching you. He's not psychotic, he's autistic."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Shaun went home with Nell that night, not wanting to listen to anything more that the psychologist had to say, especially what she said about "grief" over not having a normal child.</p><p>That so-called "grief" over not having a "normal" child was not really natural, it was a product of ableism. Shaun believed that people grieving over a version of their child that never existed was a cruel thing to do, and Lea and Carly agreed with him.</p><p>As a doctor, Shaun usually provided patients and their loved ones with positive, neutral, and reassuring information about living with a disability. Other doctors - unfortunately, most - presented information that was one-sided and full of doom and gloom. It was part of the reason why the medical field needed diversity in medicine, especially disabled doctors like Shaun.</p><p>Dr. Andrews told Shaun he was grateful to have him because, without him, he'd still have his ableist views. Claire told Shaun that Dr. Melendez told her to tell him the same thing before he died. Some of the other staff at St. Bonaventure have said the same thing.</p><p>Shaun believed that most neurotypicals and able-bodied people took being "normal" for granted so much that they were completely ignorant of what it really felt like to be disabled.</p><p>For Shaun, being autistic felt completely normal to him...and he was happy that Nell got diagnosed. It was her normal as well...and her father knew more about being autistic than the psychologist who diagnosed her.</p><p>
  <em> "Shaun?" Shaun heard Claire from behind him as he stared closely at the TV in one of the hospital rooms. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I can see the pixelation," he said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "That's great. Listen..." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "It's not great," Shaun interrupted. "Mm, it's not good. On a high-quality display, the human eye at 20/20 cannot detect the pixels." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Claire turned off the TV and then tossed the remote. Shaun heard it thud onto the bed. "You disappeared," she said. "After the failed MRI." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I failed." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yeah," sighed Claire, looking right at her colleague. "Yeah, I don't think it's about that. You were hesitant with this kid even before that. You asked me to do the ERCP." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Doctors don't have to like their patients, Claire," said Shaun, avoiding eye contact with Claire. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "You don't like him?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I don't know him." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Shaun, there's something else going on here. I know you know that." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "No, no, nu-uh!" Shaun shook his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "He has the same condition you have. You have never met anyone with..." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Do you like all people with psoriasis?" Shaun asked, finally making eye contact with Claire. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Claire scoffed. "I don't have.." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Yes, you do. And you can never get rid of it," Shaun finished solemnly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "It's too bad you don't like him, because I think he likes you. Not only that, I think he looks up to you." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "So, you know how he thinks?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Not as much as you probably do." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Claire was probably right. Shaun and Liam may not have known each other personally, but Shaun could definitely understand him as an autistic person. </em>
</p><p>Shaun was going to raise Nell to be a healthy, happy autistic adult...just like him. And she was lucky to have a supportive and understanding parent to connect with. Shaun didn't have one.</p><p>"I love you, peanut," he kissed her goodnight and then tucked her in. "Goodnight."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope you all like how Shaun and Carly have their kids go on playdates. Let me know what you think :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. First Word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nell says her first word.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Remember, Henry is Carly's son and Mateo is Lea and Shaun's nephew. Also, Delilah is Dr. Andrews' daughter, Ruby is Dr. Lim's daughter, and Aria is Claire and Dash's daughter. Please review :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Henry Robinson, Delilah Andrews, and Ruby Lim were three and they said their first words two or three years ago. Aria Browne-Snyder was only one and she just said hers. Mateo Dilallo was the same age as Nell and he said his two days before he turned one. Nell, on the other hand, was almost four-years-old and she still hadn't said one word.</p><p>Until Shaun became a parent, he never realized how condescending society was with fathers. One day when he was alone in the park with Nell, some random stranger asked him if he was babysitting today. When he told the stranger that he was her father, she condescendingly told him, "Good for you! Being involved" as if he wasn't equally capable of parenting. Most of all, he never realized how judgemental society was towards mothers. Carly, Lim, and Claire have told him that they have been "mommy-shamed" before. Lea was too...before Nell was even born. One woman criticized her for not wanting to have a home birth.</p><p>However, during some of his time at the park with Nell, he's had to deal with some annoying parents who liked to brag about their children as if they were better than him (and Lea).</p><p>"Jackson walked at eight months", "We potty-trained Kinsleigh at six months", blah blah blah.</p><p>Shaun didn't feel bad about Nell not talking yet at the age of four, but he found people who liked to brag about being the best annoying. He didn't beat himself over Nell being four-years-old and still not speaking.</p><p>And it could have been worse. Nell could already be speaking and be calling him "Shaun" instead of "Daddy" like Bart Simpson would do to Homer (Dr. Glassman told him about that episode). Or she could already be talking and straight-up refuse to say "Dada" and only the name of some other person like Louise Belcher would do to Linda.</p><p>Heck, Temple Grandin didn't even speak until she was four. Shaun didn't speak until he was six.</p><p>Nell was babbling now, so she might start saying real words soon. He wondered what her first words would be. Jimmy Fallon said that a baby's first word will be "Dada", so Shaun guessed that "Daddy" would be Nell's first word...and he was the person she spent the most time with. Shaun often played with Steve when he was young, which was why "Steve" was his first word, and he was speaking before Shaun was.</p><p>Shaun was excited to hear Nell's first word, whenever it would come. He was waiting patiently for it to happen.</p><p>In addition, it was also Mother's Day, and Shaun was showing Nell pictures of Lea from the photo album.</p><p>"That's your mommy right there," Shaun said, pointing at the photo of Lea from when she was pregnant. Nell was sitting in his lap. "She was seven months pregnant with you when this picture was taken..."</p><p>"Mommy," Nell interrupted, repeating the word that Shaun had said.</p><p>It took a while for Shaun to process what he just heard. <em>Did Nell just say that?</em> He wondered.</p><p>"Can you say that again, Nell? Tell me what you just said."</p><p>"Mommy," she said again.</p><p>"Yes, that is your mommy," Shaun couldn't help but cry. "Her name was Lea, and she loved you very much."</p><p>Nell never knew her mother, yet "Mommy" was her first word. Shaun couldn't help but feel proud. Lea would feel a lot of pride if she heard that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the short chapter, but this is the chapter that I had the hardest coming up with a story for. Anyway, I hope you all still enjoyed this heartwarming drabble.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Strange Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On her first day of pre-school, Nell wanders off.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter focuses on Nell's experience during her first day of pre-school, so things will mostly be told from Nell's point of view. Please, review if you'd like :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nell used to cry and scream all the time whenever Shaun would drop her off at St. Bonaventure's childcare center before heading to the ER to work. But then, she started to get used to it and then it became her new normal; her daddy would leave her with Brooke, he'd go to work, and then he'd pick her up and they would go home. Sometimes, she would have to eat her breakfast, lunch, or dinner at the hospital.</p><p>But now, this was no longer going to be their routine anymore since Nell was starting pre-school at a completely different location with a whole bunch of brand new people. And Nell didn't quite do very well with strangers and meeting new people she wasn't familiar with.</p><p>At this moment, Shaun was trying to drop her off and walk her into the building...and it was not going very well at all. He was already late for work due to the struggle of having to get her out of bed, out the door, into the hooptie, and now out of the hooptie and into the building.</p><p>"No! I don't wanna go!" Nell pouted as Shaun walked her towards the building, forcefully trying to pull him away.</p><p>Shaun had to forcefully pull her back. He didn't like having to doing this.</p><p>"I don't want you to go either, Nell. But you have to. And I really need to get you here right now because I'm late and I need to get to my residents right now."</p><p>"No! No! No!" Nell protested and shouted, trying to free her hand from her father's fist and ready to run away.</p><p>"Eleanor Clementine, stop it," Shaun said sternly and firmly but also calmly, squatting down to Nell's level and then wrapping his arms around her tightly, helping her calm down and preventing her from running out into the busy street. "I'll tell you what...I'll carry you in."</p><p>"Okay," Nell said quietly, clutching her favorite kitten security blanket as Shaun hoisted her into his arms and then walked into the building.</p><hr/><p>"I'll see you soon, okay?" Shaun reassured Nell as he set her down on the ground and gave her a hug and a kiss. "I have to go to work. Ms. Heather will take good care of you and Debbie will pick you up."</p><p>Nell wrapped her arms around Shaun's leg. "No, Daddy! No!" She shouted. "Don't go!"</p><p>"Sweetie, let go of your daddy," Ms. Heather said sweetly, gently pulling Nell away from Shaun's leg. "He has to go save people's lives. You and me, we can draw pictures, have snacks, and have some fun!"</p><p>Shaun gave her a final goodbye kiss before he finally left the room. "Bye, peanut," he bid tearfully. "I love you!"</p><p>Nell immediately threw herself onto the floor and melted down once her dad was out of sight. Ms. Heather had to hold her back to stop her from chasing after him.</p><p>"It's okay," cooed Ms. Heather, scooping Nell into her arms and comforting her. "Your daddy just went to work. He'll be back later. You'll see him again. Why don't you tell me about your kitty."</p><hr/><p>There were so many kids around here. They were playing with toys, coloring pictures, and flipping through books. It was kind of like the place at the hospital, but different. She was scared. The kids that were here were not the kids she usually played with. Henry wasn't here, Delilah wasn't here, Ruby wasn't here, Aria wasn't here, and Mateo wasn't here either. She's never seen any of these kids before and she was too shy to talk to or play with any of them.</p><p>All she did was fiddle with her security blanket. She just wanted her daddy...or Glassy...or Debbie...even her mommy who was in heaven. She wanted her daddy to come back and take her with him to the hospital.</p><p>When Ms. Heather wasn't looking, Nell quickly ran to the door and left the room.</p><p>She walked down the hallway, unaware that she was leaving the pre-school wing of the building and into the kindergarten through 5th grade hallways. She was unaware that the pre-school was connected to an elementary school. There were much bigger kids in these hallways. She was terrified.</p><p>Nell climbed onto the bench in the hallway and curled up into a fetal position on top of it. She burst into tears and clutched her security blanket tightly. Then, she felt someone tap her shoulder. She looked up to see a much older girl.</p><p>"What's your name?" The girl asked.</p><p>"Nell," the four-year-old replied.</p><p>"My name is Leah. I'm in 5th grade," said the older girl. "Are you lost?"</p><p>"I want Daddy," sniffed Nell, holding her kitten even tighter. She realized that the girl had the same name as her mommy. Her daddy often talked about her.</p><p>"He'll be back," reassured Leah, sitting next to Nell on the bench. "Your mommy and daddy will come pick you up later."</p><p>"Mommy's not coming. She went to heaven. I was a baby," shared Nell. "Her name was Lea, too."</p><p>"Really?" Leah smiled at Nell. "That's cool...that we have the same name, not that she's...dead. Anyway, I don't have a mommy either."</p><p>"You don't?" Nell asked curiously. "Where is she?"</p><p>"She's in heaven, too. Just like your mother," replied Leah. "I was just your age when she died."</p><p>Then, an adult approached the two girls. "Is your name Nell Murphy?" The woman asked.</p><p>"Yes," answered Nell.</p><p>"Your teacher has been looking everywhere for you," the woman said. "She's really worried. You can't just wander off."</p><p>"Okay," Nell said quietly.</p><p>"I can walk you back," offered Leah. "Would you like that?"</p><p>Nell nodded a yes and then let Leah walk her back to her room.</p><hr/><p>For the rest of the day, Nell played by herself (even drawing a picture) as she waited for her daddy to come get her. However, it wasn't Daddy who showed up; it was Debbie.</p><p>"Where's Daddy?" Nell questioned as Debbie scooped her into her arms and carried her outside the building and to the car.</p><p>"He's working late tonight," she replied. "So it's just going to be me and you tonight. He told you I was going to pick you up."</p><p>"I drew a picture of me, Daddy, and Mommy," shared Nell. She drew her and her daddy and her mommy floating on a cloud in Heaven. "It's for Daddy!"</p><p>"That's wonderful! You can show me when we get home and you can show Daddy and Glassy when they get off work," said Debbie as she strapped Nell into her car seat.</p><hr/><p>Shaun arrived home late at night (after picking Nell up from Debbie and Dr. Glassman's house) and before he bid goodnight to his little girl, he had to bring something up.</p><p>"I drew you a picture," she said, yawning.</p><p>"I know," whispered Shaun. "I like it. Anyway, Ms. Heather called me and said that you wandered off today. I understand you were scared and were surrounded by unfamiliar people, but you can't just wander off very far, especially without telling anyone. It's not easy being in a strange place, I know that. But you'll get used to it, I promise. You need to stay in Ms. Heather's sight where she can see you. Do you promise to never do that again?"</p><p>"I promise," yawned Nell.</p><p>"Okay, goodnight," whispered Shaun inaudibly, leaning over to give Nell a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, peanut."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, I know that Lea doesn't spell her name with an H, but Nell doesn't know about the different ways her parents' names can be spelled just yet...and "L-E-A-H" is the more common spelling of the name, so...just go with it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. You're Safe With Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun comforts Nell when she has a nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FYI, I decided to give Nell's kitten security blanket a name, so I went with Phoebe. Again, please review :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>"Daddy! Daddy!"</p><p>Shaun awoke to the sound of Nell loudly screaming and crying for him. Half-awake and half-asleep, he was startled by the noise as it came out of the blue. For one second, he feared that someone had broken into the apartment and was trying to kidnap Nell even though he always locked the front and back doors every night.</p><p>He jumped out of his bed and then frantically sprinted towards Nell's room. He opened the door and flipped the light on to find Nell sitting up in her bed in a fetal position crying; clutching Phoebe, her plush kitten security blanket, tightly.</p><p>"Hey! Hey! Hey!" He soothed as he climbed onto her bed and pulled her into a comforting embrace. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm here. What's wrong?"</p><p>"Monster! In closet!" She cried, hugging Shaun tightly as she repeatedly pointed at her messy closet.</p><p>"It was just a bad dream, sweetie," Shaun reassured, stroking his daughter's chocolate brown curls as he held her close. "It isn't real. There is no such thing as monsters."</p><p>This wasn't the first nightmare that Nell ever had, but she was still adjusting to learning that nightmares were only dreams and they couldn't hurt her. Kids usually learned that by her age, but knowing that still wouldn't prevent her from feeling scared.</p><p>"Not real?" Nell sniffed, squeezing Phoebe.</p><p>"No, they're not real," parroted Shaun, remembering that his calm presence would help Nell feel safe and protected after waking up feeling afraid. It would strengthen her sense of security. He followed everything he read from that article about nightmares from KidsHealth.org. "Nothing is here to hurt you right now. I'm here now."</p><p>"No monster in closet?"</p><p>"No, there is no monster in your closet. You had a bad dream, but you're awake now and everything is okay. I understand that you feel afraid, and it's okay. Everyone dreams, and sometimes they can be scary. I have bad dreams, too."</p><p>In fact, Shaun still had nightmares about his traumatizing childhood, Steve, the earthquake, Lea's death, Dr. Melendez, and even nightmares about losing Nell. He always will, but he managed them.</p><p>"You do?" Nell questioned. "But you're a grown-up. You're too big to get scared."</p><p>"No, I'm not. Nell, everybody gets scared...even grown-ups. It doesn't matter how old they are," corrected Shaun. "I get scared, Glassy gets scared, Debbie gets scared, Uncle Donnie gets scared, Claire gets scared, Carly gets scared, Dr. Park gets scared, Kellan gets scared, Morgan gets scared, Dr. Lim gets scared, Dr. Andrews gets scared, my residents get scared, and even your mommy would get scared sometimes. I was scared when I heard you screaming."</p><p>"You were?"</p><p>"Yes, I was. Any mommy or daddy can get scared when they hear their child screaming."</p><hr/><p>To further enhance Nell's sense of safety and security, Shaun checked under the bed and in the closet to prove to her that there were no monsters in existence.</p><p>"You know, when your mommy was still alive, she would always hold me every time I had a bad dream," shared Shaun, still sitting on the bed with Nell. It was true; when Lea was still alive, she would always be there for him whenever he had his night terrors. Before that, it was Dr. Glassman.</p><p>Shaun hoped Nell would never have to experience a traumatic event that would give her night terrors, and right now, he was kind of feeling scared, too as he was thinking back to his childhood.</p><p>"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight with me and Poppy?" He offered. "I can read to you to help you fall asleep."</p><p>"Okay."</p><hr/><p>Shaun waited in his bed for Nell to return to his room while she hunted for a book from her bookshelf in her room. He didn't care what book he would have to read...just as long as it wasn't <em>Pinkalicious </em>by Victoria Kann. He really hated that book as he found the message to be extremely silly and not to mention medically inaccurate.</p><p><em> Pinkatitis is not a real medical condition and eating pink things won't turn your skin pink. It could affect the way your feces look though, but I haven't read any studies about the effects of eating only pink things on feces...and what kind of cruel parent would name their child "Pinkalicious"? </em>Shaun wondered as he thought about that weird book.</p><p>Nell walked into his room trying to balance six books in her hands (Phoebe being held in her armpit) -<em> Knuffle Bunny </em>by Mo Willems, <em>Olivia </em>by Ian Falconer, <em>A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo </em>by John Oliver, <em>When Sophie's Feelings Are Really, Really Hurt </em>by Molly Bang, <em>Lola at the Library</em> by Rosalind Beardshaw, and <em>Stellaluna </em>by Jannell Cannon.</p><p>Although Shaun actually approved of those books and enjoyed them himself, he really didn't want to have to read all of them since he had a shift at the hospital in seven hours. He needed his beauty sleep.</p><p>Dr. Park and Dr. Glassman warned him about this before Nell was born. Dr. Park told him about the time he read four <em>Walter the Farting Dog </em>books by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray to Kellan all in one night when he was little. Funny thing, Dr. Park even got Shaun and Lea the book <em>Go the F**k to Sleep </em>by Adam Mansbach as a joke gift two months before Nell was born. Although Shaun and Lea both found the book to be funny, Lea (who was seven months pregnant at the time) did not think it was a funny joke.</p><p>"Only six books tonight, Daddy," requested Nell, holding them out in her hands as she presented them to him.</p><p>"No, Nell, just one. I can't read all of those to you in one night."</p><p>"How about five?"</p><p>"Two."</p><p>"Three."</p><p>"Okay fine, three," gave in Shaun. "But that's it. Which ones would you like me to read?"</p><p>Nell grabbed <em>Olivia</em>, <em>Knuffle Bunny</em>, and <em>Stellaluna </em>from the pile of books.</p><p>"<em>Olivia</em>, <em>Knuffle Bunny</em>, and <em>Stellaluna </em>it is," said Shaun, excited that Nell chose his three favorites of the six from the pile. "Which one do you want to start with."</p><p>Nell picked up the hardcover copy of <em>Olivia</em> and then handed it to Shaun, and then he opened it and started reading; Nell and Poppy were snuggled up close to him.</p><p>Shaun opened the book and then started reading.</p><p>"This is Olivia. She is good at lots of things," he read before turning the page. "She is <em>very </em>good at wearing people out. She even wears herself out."</p><hr/><p>"So Trixie's daddy decided to look harder. Until...'Knuffle Bunny!!!'" Shaun continued to read aloud before turning the page of the hardcover copy of <em>Knuffle Bunny</em>, the third book he had read in a row. "And those were the first words that Trixie ever said. The end," he finished, closing the book and then setting it down.</p><p>He looked down at Nell to see that she was already fast asleep in a very deep sleep, snuggled up close to him with Phoebe nestled into the crooks of her arms.</p><p>"You will always be safe with me, peanut," he whispered softly to her, kissing her forehead and running his fingers through her hair. He was glad that Nell could actually feel safe with her father around, something Shaun couldn't...because his father was always the real monster in his closet he could never escape from as a child.</p><p>But now, the monster from his and Steve's closet that their mother didn't protect them from was gone forever and was now nothing but a bad dream, just like it should be. </p><p>Shaun fell asleep with Nell in his arms, holding her the same way Lea would hold him after he had a nightmare. He felt safe around her, the same way she felt safe around him and the same way he felt safe around Lea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did any of you notice the reference to Olivia (whether you read it to your child/younger sibling or if someone read it to you as a child) when Shaun and Nell were debating over how many books he would read her?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The First Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Nell's first day of Kindergarten...and she makes a new friend. Also, after Shaun drops Nell off, he runs into a former patient.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Transitioning to new grades and new schools was never easy for me. Although Nell doesn't cry for Shaun when he leaves her at school, she is still scared and her stomach is still in knots. I felt that way every time I transitioned to new grades/schools/jobs and I still feel that way in new places as an adult.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nell had grown out of her separation anxiety (most of it) at this point, but she still felt uneasy in new places as she was now transitioning into Kindergarten. Although it was in the exact same building where she went to pre-school, the Kindergarten classroom and the rest of the K-5th classrooms were in completely different hallways.</p><p>Pre-school wasn't easy for Nell as she didn't make any friends...not one. In fact, a lot of the kids there were actually mean to her and she didn't want to play with them.</p><p>Shaun hoped Nell would find at least one friend or ally she could rely on and trust besides him. She had Henry as a friend, but since he was a grade behind her, he was going to be in the separate hallway of the building. So, those two couldn't play together during school hours and they couldn't play together as much as they used to.</p><p>"My tummy hurts," Nell sobbed as Shaun walked her into the classroom. He knew just how he felt. He felt like that every first day of school and he felt like that on his first days of college semesters and during his first day of med school as well. Also, he had that same feeling during his job interview for his St. Bonaventure residency.</p><p>Shaun squatted down to her level and felt her forehead to make sure she didn't actually have a fever...and she didn't.</p><p>"You don't have a fever," he said. "Do you feel like you're going to throw up?" He assumed that Nell's stomach ache was due to nervousness.</p><p>Nell shook her head.</p><p>"Okay, then," Shaun sighed nervously, trying to reassure Nell that everything was going to be okay despite the fact that he was kind of nervous about this as well.</p><p><em> What if Nell has a mean or careless teacher? What if she has nobody to stand up for her if she gets bullied? </em> He thought. Shaun always had Steve to stand up for him when he got bullied, but Nell didn't have any siblings and Henry wasn't in the same hallways yet and the rest of the kids she knew weren't even in school yet.</p><p>"Daddy, I'm scared," the five-year-old sniffed, hugging Shaun tightly.</p><p>"I know, sweetie," Shaun hugged his daughter in return. "But everything is going to be okay. Glassy will pick you up when the day is over and I'll see you tonight. Have a good first day."</p><p>Shaun bid goodbye to Nell and gave her a hug and a kiss before he left for his shift.</p><hr/><p>As Shaun walked out of the building, he heard someone call out to him.</p><p>"Oh, my god! Dr. Murphy is that you?"</p><p><em> Oh, crap! Please don't tell me I'm still famous and viral on social media because of Kayley! Why did she have to tell the world about me? </em> He fretted. "Do I know you?"</p><p>"Yes, actually," the voice behind him replied. "You delivered my son in the quarantined emergency room."</p><p>Shaun turned around to see that the woman was just who he thought it was. He was quite surprised and she looked happy to see him.</p><p>"Viola?"</p><p>"Yes," Viola smiled at him and then gave him a hug. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I just dropped my daughter off," replied Shaun. "I assume you're dropping your son off?"</p><p>"Yep, Theo is in second grade now and he'll be eight in December thanks to you. What grade is your daughter in?"</p><p>"Eleanor is in Kindergarten," replied Shaun proudly. "We call her 'Nell' and she'll be six in May of next year."</p><p>"Well, congratulations...even though that is kind of five years late to say that now," Viola chuckled nervously. "What teacher does your daughter have?"</p><p>"She has Ms. Fraticelli," replied Shaun.</p><p>"Theo had Ms. Fraticelli, too," said Viola. "He said she is really nice."</p><p>"Good," sniffed Shaun. "Your husband and my girlfriend talked in the family room while I delivered Theo. She gave him reassuring words and advice. She died six weeks after Nell was born."</p><p>"I'm so sorry," Viola sighed, her smile fading. "Anyway, what a funny coincidence. While you delivered my baby in the ER, Clifton and your girlfriend were talking. And then, three years later you're having a baby of your own."</p><p>"It is weird," giggled Shaun apprehensively. "Anyway, I have to go to the hospital. Unlike when I delivered your baby, I'm an attending now and my co-attending and my residents need me."</p><p>"Yeah, I should probably head to work, too," agreed Viola, who noticed how anxious Shaun looked. "She'll be fine, really."</p><hr/><p>It was free time and Nell was sitting by herself with the blocks. Actually, she wasn't the only one playing with the blocks. There were three other girls playing next to her, but she wasn't really interacting with them. She recognized one of them, Lola, from pre-school last year.</p><p>All of a sudden, one of them - a girl with red hair and green eyes - walked over and knocked over the tower she was building and then pushed her over, grabbing the blocks.</p><p>"Hey!" Nell protested angrily. "I was playing with those!"</p><p>"Well, me, Paisley, and Lola need them to build our castle for our princess!" The girl snidely commented. "So, it's ours now!"</p><p>"Yeah!" Lola and Paisley nastily agreed in unison.</p><p>Nell let tears fall from her eyes. In less than one second, a girl with brown eyes and coily black hair walked over towards them. "Give her back the blocks, Scarlet! She had them first! Give them back to her or I'm telling Ms. Fraticelli!" She commanded, folding her arms.</p><p>"You're such a tattletale, Ava!" Scarlet stuck her tongue out at Ava. "You can't make me!"</p><p>"I'm telling!" Ava walked over to get Ms. Fraticelli. They came over to Nell and the other girls.</p><p>"Scarlet, did you take the blocks away from Eleanor?"</p><p>"No," fibbed Scarlet, dropping the blocks she had snatched.</p><p>"Scarlet Cockburn, don't lie to me," scolded Ms. Fraticelli. "Ava says you did it."</p><p>"Well I want them! My mommy and daddy always get me what I want!" Scarlet said haughtily.</p><p>"Scarlet, the world does not revolve around you. Now go sit in time-out!" Ms. Fraticelli demanded before praising Ava. "Thank you, Ava!"</p><p>Once Scarlet was put in her 15-minute time-out, Ava then decided to talk to Nell. "She's mean!"</p><p>"I know," agreed Nell.</p><p>"Scarlet was in my pre-school class last year," said Ava. "She scribbled on my picture once. I was drawing it for my mommies and she ruined it."</p><p>"I'm Eleanor, but call me 'Nell'," Nell introduced herself to the girl.</p><p>"My name is Ava," the girl introduced herself before giving Nell a kind offer. "You can play with me and Ophelia."</p><p>"Okay," replied Nell, happy that one kid was nice to her.</p><hr/><p>When Dr. Glassman came to pick Nell up from school, he noticed her playing in the school yard with two other girls. He assumed that the two girls were sisters or just friends and that the woman that was with her was their mother.</p><p>"Nell, I think your grandpa is here," the woman with them called to her.</p><p>"Glassy!" Nell happily ran to Aaron when she heard that. "He's not my grandfather!"</p><p>"I'm her grandfather-figure and her father's mentor. It's complicated," Aaron explained nervously to the woman before scooping Nell up in his arms and hugging her. "I see you made new friends."</p><p>"That's Ava and her sister Amariah," Nell introduced. The two sisters waved at Dr. Glassman. "That's their mommy! Their other mommy is at home."</p><p>"Hi," the woman introduced herself to Dr. Glassman, apprehensively shaking his hand. "I'm Julia Williams, Ava and Amariah Williams-Rodriguez's mom. Your...um...granddaughter...she said that her father and this Glassy guy were doctors, her mother was dead, and that this Debbie woman was sick today...so I assumed that you or her father would be late picking her up. The school obviously wouldn't allow her to go home with someone else's parents without a note from her parents, so I decided to stay with her until one of you arrived."</p><p>"Thank you," acknowledged Aaron. It was only 3:00 in the afternoon, so it wasn't too late. "I'm Dr. Aaron Glassman, the president of San Jose St. Bonaventure hospital. Well, I'll be retiring next year."</p><p>"That's nice," said Julia. "And no problem."</p><p>"Bye, Nell!" Ava called out as Aaron carried Nell to the car.</p><p>"Oh, wait!" Julia ran to Aaron, handing him a piece of paper. "Here is my number and also Imelda's number. Imelda is my wife. This is for in case Ava and Nell ever want to have a play date or if neither you, Debbie, or Nell's father is available to pick her up."</p><p>"Thank you, I really appreciate it," he smiled at the woman before settling Nell in her car seat and buckling her up.</p><hr/><p>"So, what happened at school today? Ava seems like a nice girl, and her mom seems nice," Aaron questioned Nell with curiosity as he drove her to St. Bonaventure. He asked Maddie the exact same question when he picked her up from her first day of Kindergarten.</p><p>"I played with Ava and a girl named Ophelia today. We played with tinker toys," shared Nell. "But Scarlet Cockburn was mean to me today."</p><p>Aaron snickered a bit at that name. <em> Poor girl </em> , he thought.  <em> What an unfortunate name!  </em>"What did she do?"</p><p>"She knocked down my blocks and took them from me," said Nell. "And I don't like Lola and Paisley either. Ava stood up for me and Scarlet got put in time-out!"</p><p>"Well, good!" Aaron praised. "I'm glad you made friends. And your daddy will also be happy!"</p><hr/><p>At 5:00 in the evening, Shaun was having dinner in the hospital cafeteria with Nell. When Dr. Glassman handed him two phone numbers of the parents of Nell's new friend, Shaun was happy that Nell was on the path to finding her Steve...or Lea...or Carly...or Claire...or whatever.</p><p>"So, Glassy told me that you made a new friend and that her name is Ava," said Shaun. "What is she like?"</p><p>"She has brown eyes and black hair...it looks like Carly's hair," began Ava. "She has two mommies, and she said that one of them has aut...aut..."</p><p>"Autism?" Guessed Shaun, hoping that was what Nell was trying to say. Sometimes, he really wished he had parent friends who were on the spectrum. They were hard to find, even on the internet.</p><p>"Yes," replied Nell. "Just like me and you. Her sister Amariah is, too! Ava also likes horses and dogs."</p><p>"That's cool," Shaun bubbled happily. He probably just killed two birds with one stone! Not only did Nell make a friend, but he also might finally find a parent he could actually connect with.</p><p>He hoped that Nell and Ava would be friends for a long time. <em> I think she has found her Steve...or Lea...or Claire...or Carly, </em> he thought happily.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, I do appreciate constructive criticism and feedback :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. New Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>During Nell and Ava's play date, Shaun shares a connection with Ava's mother (the one who is autistic).</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finding other autistic parents is very difficult for me, and I've only found them on internet forums and blogs I can follow.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Shaun learned that Nell's new friend had not only a sister, but also a mother, on the autism spectrum, he was kind of excited because he finally had the chance to actually interact with other parents on the spectrum.</p><p>And the good thing was that the mom who was going to be at Ava's home on this play date was Imelda, Ava's autistic mother. When Shaun and Nell walked into Julia Williams and Imelda Rodriguez's apartment, he was very fascinated by it. There were beautifully done pots and sculptures and paintings by Frida Kahlo, Jackson Pollock, Georgia O'Keeffe (not the ones that looked like a female genitalia), Pablo Picasso, and Edgar Degas.</p><p>While Nell, Ava, and Ava's three-year-old sister Amariah played in Ava's room (Julia was at work), Shaun and Imelda sat in the living room and had a conversation.</p><p>"So, you're autistic, too. That's cool," Imelda chuckled nervously, twirling her black hair around her finger and staring at a corner. "And you also have a kid on the spectrum."</p><p>"I never met any parents on the spectrum...I only follow their blogs on the internet," said Shaun restlessly, stimming with his hands and admiring Imelda's t-shirt of a Frida Kahlo painting. It was the painting of Frida nude with her torso split with a metal rod in her body and a cloth wrapped around her waist. "And I like your shirt. What is the name of the painting?"</p><p>"It's 'The Broken Column' by Frida Kahlo. It's my favorite painting. She painted it shortly after she had spinal surgery to correct her back problems she was suffering from since her bus accident. Her solitary presence on a cracked and barren landscape symbolizes both her isolation from being bedridden and her chronic pain. Pain and suffering is the focus of many of her works, but she also drew monkeys, dogs, parrots, and other self-portraits," explained Imelda.</p><p>"The metal rod that entered her body through her uterus in the accident was also why she couldn't have children," added Shaun, wondering what he should add to the conversation. "What do you do for a living?"</p><p>"I'm a high school art teacher," replied Imelda, folding her hands tightly in her lap. "Ava said that Nell said you're a surgeon...although she said 'spurgeon' and I told her, 'I think you mean <em> surgeon </em>'. She also asked me if you were the doctor who delivered her and her sister...and I said that you weren't. I delivered both Amariah and Ava. I volunteered since I was the most fertile."</p><p>"I've delivered babies before, but obstetrics and gynecology isn't my profession," chortled Shaun. "When I was a second-year resident, I delivered a baby in a quarantine two years before COVID-19. And the doctor who supervised me, Dr. Garcia, became Lea's OB/GYN a couple of years later."</p><p>"Was Lea your wife's name?" Imelda questioned as she took a sip of her tea, feeling a little sad at the mention of Nell's mother since Ava also told her that she died when Nell was a baby.</p><p>"Girlfriend, actually," corrected Shaun. "We weren't married or engaged yet when she died...but we would have been. I was going to propose to her on her 30th birthday."</p><hr/><p>It had already been an hour into Nell and Ava's play date and Shaun and Imelda seemed to be getting along very well so far. After Imelda talked a bit about art and Shaun about medical stuff, they started to bond over the joys and the struggles of being autistic parents.</p><p>"Following the blogs of other autistic parents but never meeting one in real life...that is also so me," giggled Imelda as she handed Shaun a cup of milk. "It seems like they all have at least one child on the spectrum and suspect that at least one of their parents was on the spectrum, too. I think my father was autistic. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 20 since my teachers thought women of color, or even women or people of color, could even be autistic."</p><p>Shaun always wondered if his mother was on the spectrum, as his maternal grandfather would always tell him that he's just like his mother. Marcie hated loud noises and was sensitive to touch. Maybe if she got her diagnosis, she would have been more understanding towards Shaun...but she was a child during a time when experts thought autism was something that only occurred in white boys. Recent research has shown that autistic females were usually very submissive, and Marcie was very submissive to Ethan, her parents, and her older sister. However, that didn't matter to Shaun anymore because she was now dead to him - autistic or not.</p><p>"My friend Carly's little sister Andie is autistic," admitted Shaun, as Imelda did bring up the topic of autistic women of color. "She said that Andie didn't get diagnosed until she was 11. Carly and I dated once."</p><p>"It's weird that you're still friends with your ex," Imelda stated bluntly. "My ex-girlfriend is dead to me. Anyway, did you receive judgment for wanting to have children?"</p><p>"I got nasty comments from a patient when I told him that my girlfriend was pregnant and that I was autistic," revealed Shaun. "Did you get any hate? Especially since you're Amariah and Ava's biological mother."</p><p>"Absolutely," sighed Imelda. "My father-in-law was kind of outraged when Julia and I announced that I was the one who would be carrying the baby both times. Julia has polycystic ovarian syndrome and we really wanted children. Our plan was that we would have two children, and each of us would carry one, and I decided to go first since I was the most fertile. After I had Ava, my lactation consultant said that I must be hoping that she doesn't turn out like me, meaning that she'd be autistic. That hurt my feelings because autism is part of my identity, just like being a woman, being a lesbian, and being Hispanic."</p><p>"Mine, too," agreed Shaun.</p><p>"Anyway, Ava didn't turn out autistic. And then Julia and I decided to have our second child, and she decided to carry this one, but she had trouble. So, I volunteered once again...and I got hate. Although pregnancy and labor wasn't easy with Ava, it felt worse when I had Amariah. With Ava, I had a c-section. But with Amariah, I gave birth naturally without any drugs and as someone with sensory issues, it was too much for me," continued Imelda. "The midwife was nice, but it was still traumatizing."</p><p>"I'm sorry," said Shaun softly. He thankfully didn't have to go through childbirth, but he couldn't imagine what childbirth was like for autistic women who were hypersensitive. "Doesn't it annoy you when parents of autistic children call themselves 'autism parents'?" Shaun asked, changing the subject.</p><p>"Oh, my god...yes!" Imelda groaned, rolling her eyes. "I'm like 'Bitch...no! No!'" Imelda waved her finger. "My parents don't call themselves 'gay parents', they're straight! My daughters are black and biracial, and I don't refer to myself as a black or a biracial parent because I'm none of those. So it doesn't make sense why parents of autistic children would call themselves 'autism parents'. Karen, stop! You're not autistic!"</p><p>"It's othering of autistic people and it makes it seem like parents on the spectrum don't exist," explained Shaun. "Autism is part of their child's identity, not theirs."</p><p>"Exactly! They're just a bunch of Autism Speaks-supporting martyr parents who like to divide us into high and low functioning and never let any of us speak for ourselves!" Imelda vented. "But we're better than them. I'm trying to be a good mother and make sure that my daughters are healthy, happy, and feel accepted."</p><p>"Me, too," Shaun agreed. "I'm also trying to set a good example for Nell. I'm trying to be a good father instead of proving to the world and making it look like I'm a good father...putting on a show like my father would."</p><p>"Julia and I are also trying to set a good example," added Imelda.</p><p>Throughout the rest of the play date, Shaun and Imelda continued to chat (while also keeping an eye on their children). By the time Shaun and Nell went back home to their own apartment, Shaun was not only glad that Nell made a new friend that he trusted, but also glad that he made a new parent friend that he could actually connect with and relate to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finding other autistic parents is very difficult for me, and I've only found them on internet forums and blogs I can follow.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Baby Teeth and Show-and-Tell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Nell loses her first baby tooth, she and Shaun figure out what she should bring for show-and-tell.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm kind of starting to realize that my previous fic has not aged well due to social distancing lasting longer than we think. *sigh* As in Nell was probably definitely conceived during the pandemic. Sorry for the rant, it's just that I'm getting tired of social distancing...and I'm an introvert. Anyway, I remember when losing a tooth was scary for me as a child. Until I was nine, pulling out my own loose tooth was frightening for me. It took bravery for me to do it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shaun, Nell, Dr. Glassman, and Debbie sat at the table in the hospital cafeteria, talking about what Nell could bring for show-and-tell to school on Friday. It was Sunday and while Nell would sometimes either stay with Debbie or stay at Ava's house during weekends when her father or Dr. Glassman were working shifts, she actually wanted to spend the day at the hospital today.</p><p>"I know you wanted to take me, but I have a long surgery to attend to at that time and it's too late to reschedule. But if your school ever does a career day, I'm up to volunteering," Shaun put forth, taking a sip from his cup of milk.</p><p>Shaun was definitely not the kind of parent who would volunteer for almost every single school event or chaperone for almost every single field trip, but he wouldn't mind volunteering for career day at some point and talking to kids about being a surgeon. Nell wanted to show off her surgeon father at show-and-tell, but Shaun wanted to save that for career day.</p><p>"You could take Phoebe," Dr. Glassman suggested, referring to Nell's security blanket that was resting next to her plate. She never went anywhere without it; it was like her very own toy scalpel. She's been attached to it since she was born.</p><p>"No. Boring," pouted Nell. "That's what everyone else likes to bring. Ophelia said she was bringing her elephant. Mine should be oomique. Ava is bringing her mommy's painting."</p><p><em>Yep. There is a bit of Lea right there, I think,</em> thought Dr. Glassman nostalgically. However, Nell did kind of have a point, though. A lot of kids were probably going to bring their toys.</p><p>"Sweetie, I think you mean, <em>unique</em>," corrected Debbie, laughing softly at Nell's mispronunciation of big and complicated words (words that seemed too big and complicated for a five-year-old).</p><p>"I think maybe you could bring something of your Uncle Steve's...or your mom's," recommended Shaun. Odds were that Nell was probably the only kid in her class who's mother was dead. Plus, Shaun still had a ton of Lea's things besides her signed baseball. He even still had her toothbrush and some of her sweaters.</p><p>"I actually agree with your daddy," Aaron chimed in. "That's actually a great idea. You said it had to be unique, and that is something unique."</p><p>"We're not taking her hooptie, though," reminded Shaun. "It's too big."</p><p>"I know," said Nell quietly. "Okay, I'll take one of mommy's things. I want to."</p><hr/><p>Shaun presented Nell all of the options of Lea's things that she could take for show-and-tell. There was the photo album full of pictures of her when she was a kid, her signed baseball, her gymnastics gold medal, and some of her jewelry.</p><p>However, Nell was a bit distracted by her wiggly tooth. It's been wiggly for a while and it was driving her crazy. Her dad told her that meant it was going to come out soon. To her, that sounded scary and she didn't want it to happen since the wiggly tooth kind of hurt. But her dad said that it needed to come out at some point.</p><p>"Is your wiggly tooth still bothering you," her dad asked.</p><p>Nell nodded a yes.</p><p>"Can I see it?" He asked, reaching his arm towards her face to feel her wiggly tooth.</p><p>"No, Daddy! No!" Nell protested, swatting her arms at him.</p><p>"It's been loose for a long time, it's probably time for it to come out."</p><p>"No! No! No!"</p><p>"Look, I know it's kind of frightening, but it happens to everyone," reassured Shaun. "A lot of your classmates might have a loose tooth right now. I'm sure you noticed in that picture of your mommy when she was around your age, she had a few missing teeth. She went through the exact same thing. It happened to me, too. It also happened to Glassy. Can I just take a look at it, please?"</p><p>"Fine," Nell surrendered, opening her mouth and allowing her father to take a look.</p><p>Once Shaun started to wiggle Nell's tooth, she snapped her mouth shut as a response to pain.</p><p>"Ow," winced Shaun as he felt his daughter's tiny teeth bite his finger. This is exactly why he didn't want to be a dentist. He quickly removed his finger from her mouth.</p><p>"Ow!" Nell cried. She poked around her mouth with her tongue. Something did not feel right in there. Her heart started to pound very fast and she held her breath.</p><p>"Nell, what's wrong?" Shaun asked, forgetting about the saliva and bite marks on his finger.</p><p>Nell then opened her mouth, spitting her bloody tooth right out into her hand.</p><hr/><p>Nell ran all over the apartment. Shaun kept running after her so he could calm her down.</p><p>"You knocked my tooth out!" She shouted. "You knocked my tooth out!"</p><p>"No, I didn't," said Shaun. "It must have fallen out when you bit me."</p><p>Nell kept running and shouting. This was definitely scary for her. Shaun finally caught up to her, picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom.</p><p>"Rinse and spit," Shaun instructed when he handed her a cup of water.</p><p>When Nell did what he said, she looked at the inside of the cup in horror at what she saw: a bit of blood. The sight of it freaked her out.</p><p>"Blood! There's blood in my spit! I'm dying!" Nell hollered.</p><p>"You're not dying, peanut," Shaun said sternly, trying to stop Nell from screaming so loud to the point the neighbors would think there was something bad happening. "Yes, there is a little blood, but it will stop. I promise. It's normal. Just keep on rinsing and spitting."</p><p>Nell kept doing what she was told until her saliva was clear.</p><hr/><p>Once Nell was finally calm, she was sitting on the couch with Shaun, disgusted at the feeling of her tongue between her teeth.</p><p>"I don't like feeling my tongue in my tooth hole," she said.</p><p>"I know, I didn't like feeling my nub either," agreed Shaun. "It's okay, I freaked out the first time when this happened to me. Except my father just told me I was being a baby about it."</p><p>"Your dad was mean," said Nell. Shaun told her to never call him "grandpa".</p><p>"That's right, he was. Anyway, want to get back to show-and-tell? I think your baby tooth would be a good idea," suggested Shaun. "I know it might be a little gross. And most parents would do this whole tooth fairy thing, which is a myth by the way just like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny...but don't tell that to the kids at school."</p><p>"Okay," said Nell, who didn't quite understand why some parents would tell their children lies like this. "But I don't want to bring my tooth, I want to collect it. I want to take mommy's toothbrush...and one of her sweaters."</p><p>"You want to take your mom's toothbrush?" Shaun asked, narrowing his eyebrow. When Lea died, he still kept her toothbrush and her toothpaste in the exact place she always kept it. It's been this way for the past five years. It made it feel like she was still here.</p><p>"Yes," confirmed Nell. "I want to wear one of her sweaters, too. Mommy is my show-and-tell."</p><p>Shaun didn't need to ask why, so he decided to let Nell take those two things as it was probably going to be like her taking her dead mother for show-and-tell.</p><p>"Okay, then. I'll help you pick out a sweater."</p><hr/><p>Ms. Fraticelli's entire Kindergarten class was sitting in a circle on the classroom carpet. Nell was sitting with her friends, Ophelia Flores and Ava.</p><p>They all presented interesting and non-interesting things for show-and-tell. Harper Kim, Declan Lamanuzzi, and Wyatt Yang brought their favorite toys. Sebastian Cruz and Ophelia brought their favorite stuffed animals. Lola Fox, Paisley Baker, and Scarlet brought their dolls. Ava brought her mom's small painting of a bouquet of flowers. Caleb Jones brought his dad's purple heart. Xavier Rivera brought his pet tarantula. Lincoln Anderson brought his mom's high school diary. Nora Nguyen brought her ballet tutu and her ballet slippers and even danced a little dance.</p><p>Most of all, the oddest show-and-tell was from the Skopas twins - Asher and Ezra - who brought their dried out umbilical cord stumps in a mason jar. All the rest of the 14 students including Nell were weirded out and grossed out by that. Even Ms. Fraticelli was weirded out by that.</p><p>Nell was sitting next to Caleb, and since he went first, Nell was going to present last since the circle went around in a counter-clockwise direction for taking turns. Ava had just finished presenting her mom's painting.</p><p>"Thank you, Ava," applauded Ms. Fraticelli as Ava went to sit back down between Nell and Ophelia. "Your turn, Nell."</p><p>Nell stood up and then walked to the center of the circle. Eye contact wasn't one of her favorite skills, so she looked at the wall while she presented her show-and-tell.</p><p>"Before I tell you what my show-and-tell is, I would like to tell everyone that I lost my first tooth. Ava and Ophelia already know this, but the rest of you don't, so I decided to go ahead and tell everyone this," she began, smiling big so her classmates could ooh and aah at the milestone. "My daddy said that it happened to him, too...and it's going to happen to all of you, too..."</p><p>"Nell, why don't you just go ahead and show us what your show-and-tell is?" Ms. Fraticelli smiled sweetly, keeping Nell from getting off-topic. "I see you've got a toothbrush and a shirt tied around your waist."</p><p>"My lost tooth isn't my show-and-tell, but it did help me and my daddy decide what I should bring, so I decided to bring my mommy's toothbrush and her shirt, which is what is tied around me" presented Nell, holding the toothbrush tightly in her hands.</p><p>"You brought your mommy's toothbrush for show-and-tell? Ew! How is that so special? It's just a toothbrush! That is so dumb!" Scarlet mocked, Lola and Paisley laughing alongside her. They had the same exact reaction Asher and Ezra's show-and-tell.</p><p>"Scarlet Cockburn, Lola Fox, and Paisley Baker...knock it off! And do not use the word 'dumb' in class! This is your second strike!" Ms. Fraticelli scolded the trio, and then the girls got quiet. "Go on, Nell."</p><p>"My mommy died when I was a baby, six weeks after I was born," began Nell, giving a bit of backstory on her mom. "Her name was Lea and she worked at a hospital, but she wasn't a doctor or a nurse. Daddy said she liked to change jobs a lot. She was mostly a car engineer."</p><p>"How did your mommy die?" Nora asked curiously.</p><p>"Nora, I don't think..." Ms. Fraticelli thought that question would upset Nell.</p><p>"My daddy said it was late 'clampsia and a brain 'yerism," replied Nell, happy to share her answer. "The 'clampsia caused a seizure which caused a brain 'yerism."</p><p>"What's 'clampsia and a 'yerism? What is a seizure?" Xavier asked. However, it was too complicated for Nell to explain. It was even complicated for her dad to explain to her how her mom died.</p><p>"Eclampsia is when a woman who is having a baby has very high blood pressure and seizures. It can be dangerous for her and her baby. A seizure is when someone's body can start shaking hard due to a problem in the brain. An aneurysm is a bump in the blood vessel that can bleed if it bursts," explained Ms. Fraticelli. "Anyway, why don't we just let Nell tell us about her mommy's things."</p><p>"My daddy has been keeping mommy's toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, hair stuff, shaving razor, perfume, deodorant, and make-up in the same cup on the bathroom sink since she died. He never got rid of it. He said it makes him feel like she is still here," Nell explained, stroking the bristles of her mom's toothbrush. "When I lost my tooth, I thought about mommy's toothbrush and I decided to take that."</p><p>After Ms. Fraticelli answered a couple of her students' questions like "What is deodorant?" and "What is perfume?", the trio of mean girls decided to mock Nell again.</p><p>"That's stupid!" Lola said, and Paisley and Scarlet rudely laughed with her. "Nell's dad is even weirder than her!"</p><p>"What's their problem?" Ophelia scoffed at the mean girls, whispering to Ava.</p><p>"That's it girls, I'm writing notes to your parents! We do not say that word in school!" Ms. Fraticelli scolded. "Nell, why don't you tell us about the shirt."</p><p>Nell untied the long-sleeved rainbow shirt from her waist so her classmates could see the whole thing. "This was my mommy's shirt. My daddy says its the shirt she wore on their first date where they skipped work, drove a car, and sang karaoke," shared Nell. "My daddy also keeps some of her sweaters, jackets, and shirts."</p><p>"Thank you, Nell. I imagine losing your mommy must have been really hard on your daddy. People like to hold on to the belongings of people they love when they lose them, which is what Nell's dad is doing," Ms. Fraticelli explained to the class. "Anyway, thank you Nell for telling us about your mom. You may now sit down."</p><hr/><p>"So, what was the most interesting show-and-tell you saw today, besides yours?" Shaun asked Nell as he drove them home. He was off duty at this time, so he was able to pick her up from school and go straight home.</p><p>"Nora did a ballet dance and she wore a tutu. Also, Ezra and Asher, the twins, brought their umbrellical cords in a jar," said Nell. "It was gross. They even showed us pictures of it on their belly buttons."</p><p><em>What the hell? That's weird. </em>Shaun's mind entered a state of shock. He's heard of placenta pills, eating the placenta, and preserving dried-out umbilical stumps, but he never thought a kid would ever bring them to a show-and-tell. Even as a doctor, he wasn't a fan of preserving things like tumors, tonsils, appendix, kidney stones, gallstones, placenta, or umbilical cords for memory keepsake.</p><p>"I think you mean <em>umbilical </em>cords, peanut." Shaun laughed a little. "And you did have an umbilical stump, too. I cut your umbilical cord, and odds are Asher and Ezra's dad cut theirs. Except your mom and I never preserved it in a jar and I cut a couple of other umbilical cords before I cut yours. Anyway, what else was there?"</p><p>"Xavier had a pet tarantula. It was big and hairy and scary, but it was in a cage so it couldn't bite me. I would never want a pet spider," cringed Nell.</p><p>"Your mom would never have wanted a pet tarantula, either. She had a huge fear of spiders, so it was always my duty to set a spider free outside whenever we'd find one since I wasn't scared of them," shared Shaun. "She didn't like them, but she never wanted to kill them because she wanted them to eat all the flies and keep them away. Anyway, did anyone actually use your mom's toothbrush on their teeth?"</p><p>"No. And I didn't either."</p><p>"Good. That toothbrush is not for use, it's only for show."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Pardon my use of words like 'clampsia and 'yerism, but I was just trying to make it a bit realistic with young children's common misuse of big words.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Mom is the Word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nell wants to know more about Lea.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know I've been adding tags along the way, but I don't have all the scenes written out and planned quite yet. I have all the chapters planned out...but only the main premise of each chapter. So, tags will be added once the chapter containing the material is posted. Anyway, this is a very long chapter and it was a challenge for me to write as it took me days to write.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was Mother's Day - a day for mothers to be treated like queens - but Claire, Carly, and Dr. Lim unfortunately had to work that day (plus wish their own mothers a happy Mother's Day; not Claire, though), but at least they got decent homemade Mother's Day presents from their children. </p><p>Although, they were just art projects they did in pre-school and at daycare. The only thing that the three of them desperately wanted was a nice glass of wine and a nice dinner at the end of their shifts plus a break from their children.</p><p>As for Shaun, he had been estranged from his mother for a long time...and if he absolutely had to buy a Mother's Day gift for anyone, it would be Debbie...but Debbie told him he really didn't need to; the same way Shaun told Nell that she really didn't need to pressure herself into getting him the perfect Father's Day present. Same with Lea; she wasn't a fan of Mother's Day because she hated being pressured into having to buy a gift for her toxic mother every year. Claire and Morgan often felt the same way.</p><p>Imelda informed Shaun that Anna Jarvis, the woman who founded Mother's Day, actually regretted her creation of the holiday because she didn't like what it has become - a guilt-tripping marketing ploy. And Shaun and Imelda actually kind of agreed with Anna Jarvis. Shaun and Imelda didn't like commercialized holidays either, and neither did Lea.</p><p>Although Shaun was glad he didn't need to buy any Mother's Day gift for his mother anymore (Lea, too, when she was alive), the holiday was still a sad time for Shaun because it was another reminder of losing Lea.</p><p>Instead of preparing Nell for Mother's Day, he was preparing her for her upcoming birthday that was at the end of the month. </p><p>Nell didn't have a mother to give all of her homemade school art project Mother's Day gifts to. Ms. Fraticelli told her she could just make them for her dad instead, so she wrote "Daddy" instead of "Mommy" on the cards and then decided to keep them hidden from her dad until Father's Day. Nevertheless, that still didn't make Nell feel less left out at school since she was the only kid in her class who didn't have a living mother.</p><p>On Friday, she sat with Ava and Imelda in the school cafeteria for the Mother's Day breakfast the school hosted. Imelda didn't think Nell should be sitting alone.</p><p>That didn't stop Nell from having a plethora of questions about her mom, so she asked almost every single one of her dad's friends and acquaintances about her for the past week. She wanted to ask her dad, but she also didn't want to make him sad.</p><p>Dr. Emily Newton, Dr. Josh Martin, Dr. Kylie Torres, and Dr. Cameron Cheung - her dad and Claire's residents - told her they never even met her mom, so they had nothing to say about her.</p><p>"I'm sorry, when I joined your dad and Dr. Browne's team, your dad said that she was dead," said Cameron. "Same with Emily, same with Kylie, same with Josh. Ask your dad."</p><hr/><p>The first person Nell had asked was Dr. Marcus Andrews, her dad's former attending and the soon-to-be chief of surgery. He was recently promoted to chief of surgery for a second time when Dr. Lim was promoted to president of St. Bonaventure, which was going to happen when Dr. Glassman would retire next year.</p><p>"You know, I never actually interacted with your mom before," he told her. "Your dad has only mentioned her to me countless times when he would ask for relationship advice or friendship advice. You should probably ask your dad."</p><hr/><p>Dr. Alex Park, one of the other surgical attendings at St. Bonaventure and her dad's former co-resident, was the next person Nell asked. His son Kellan used to babysit her when she was an infant. Shaun also told her that he used to be a police officer.</p><p>"I barely ever interacted with your mom," sighed Dr. Park as he typed on his computer keyboard. "Your dad has often mentioned her to me and everyone else...often asking for relationship advice. I did, however, get them a joke gift when your mom was pregnant with you. She didn't find it funny."</p><p>Alex couldn't help but laugh a bit at that memory. </p><p>When Lea was seven months pregnant, he got her and Shaun the book <em> Go the F**k to Sleep </em> as a joke...since Shaun and Lea were on the verge of dealing with a baby keeping them up at night and Alex himself had actually gone through that experience before. </p><p>When he handed the book to the young expectant couple when they were having lunch in the hospital cafeteria, it took Shaun a couple of seconds to realize it was a parody and not an actual kid's book while Lea - who was cranky, hormonal, moody, and miserable - shot Alex an annoyed expression.</p><p><em> "I'm a week away from being eight months pregnant! How am I supposed to laugh at the fact that I will be dealing with a crying baby soon and be sleep-deprived while I can't even have a nice nap for more than 30 minutes while I have to watch my boyfriend sleep peacefully and comfortably almost every single damn night! Nice cruel reminder, jackass!" </em>   <em> Lea ranted to him.  </em></p><p>Alex forgave her for that outburst as he should have been aware of that having dealt with a pregnant wife before.</p><p>"Why?" Nell asked him curiously, interrupting his thoughts.</p><p>"Uhhh..." Alex wondered if this was appropriate as he was talking to a five-and-a-half-year-old and this story had curse words in it. "Maybe you should ask your dad."</p><hr/><p>Dr. Audrey Lim - her dad's former attending, the chief of surgery, and the soon-to-be president of St. Bonaventure - was the next person Nell asked.</p><p>Just like Shaun, Dr. Lim was also a single parent, except she was by choice. She adopted her daughter Ruby months after Nell was born.</p><p>"Your mom was usually cheerful here at work. I helped firefighters rescue your mom from the basement of a collapsed brewery after an earthquake. She spent a long time alone in the dark under collapsed rubble while she waited for help," explained Audrey, only telling half of the truth. Lea actually came across a badly crushed corpse while she tried to hunt for a way out of the giant pile of rubble and debris. Thanks to that unforgettable image, she suffered from psychological trauma afterward. "Your dad was trying to find her, but he instead found another woman who needed help."</p><p>"Then what happened?" Nell asked after Audrey answered her question about what a brewery was.</p><p>"Your dad and the woman almost drowned in the basement, but they both made it out okay," replied Audrey. "Your mom wasn't hurt either; just a couple of minor injuries, but she was fine. After the earthquake, your mom and dad finally got together and made up. They had a long fight earlier before the earthquake."</p><p>"What was the fight about?" Nell questioned.</p><p>"Ask your dad."</p><hr/><p>Dr. Morgan Resnick, her dad's former co-resident and a pathologist at St. Bonaventure (she had quit surgery and then began her pathology residency as she thought it would be more suitable due to her rheumatoid arthritis), was the next person Nell asked.</p><p>"To be honest, I wasn't very fair to your mom," Morgan breathed regretfully. "We hated each other once she started working here."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>Morgan thought for a second. In hindsight, she was pretty unfair to Lea...and Shaun and everyone else, too...but mostly Lea. </p><p>Lea's first kiss to Shaun wasn't a pity kiss and she wasn't ever "peeing on his leg" while Shaun dated Carly. She was his friend and she did love him. She really did see him as a man the same way Carly did.</p><p>And Carly was right...maybe she was the one who actually didn't see Shaun as a man. Not Carly, not Lea, not Claire...it was Morgan, the accuser herself.</p><p>Most of all, Morgan regretted the way she acted towards Lea when she was pregnant with Nell. Other than repeatedly refer to Lea as Shaun's "Baby Mama" and Shaun as Lea's "Baby Daddy" (they both really loathed that), when Shaun finally admitted that Lea had a bun in the oven when everyone was starting to suspect it, she immediately jumped to the unjust conclusion that Lea cheated on Shaun and that Shaun was not the father, even though Shaun reminded and concluded that by logical terms, he was definitely the father.</p><p>When Morgan snottily confronted Lea about it, all she did was offend her, make her cry, and worst of all - cause a scene in the hospital cafeteria. She cringed at the fact that she had pissed off a pregnant woman, especially when she earned a <em> tsk tsk tsk </em> from Claire and Dr. Lim.</p><p>
  <em> "You insensitive bitch!" Lea bellowed tearfully. "I didn't cheat on Shaun! What the hell is your problem with me?" Completely humiliated, Lea ran to her office to cry alone. </em>
</p><p>"Well, I used to think your mom was nothing but a selfish flake who toyed with your dad and broke his heart," replied Morgan.</p><p>"How did she break his heart?" Nell asked.</p><p>"Ask your dad, kid. I have to get back to work."</p><hr/><p>Dr. Carly Lever, the head pathologist at St. Bonaventure and her friend Henry's mom, was the next person Nell asked.</p><p>"She and your dad were just roommates, but they weren't together at the time. In fact, I was the one who your dad was dating...not your mom," replied Carly, smiling. </p><p>"What does 'dating' mean?" Nell asked. She heard the word "date" before, but she never knew what "dating" meant.</p><p>"Um...it means...going out with someone you love and spending time with them. You do things that married people do, except you and that person aren't married. It's something people do before they get married, but sometimes the two people may not make it to getting married," Carly tried her best to explain in a way that a five-year-old would understand. Explaining simple things to Henry was also a challenge sometimes for her and Pat.</p><p>"You and Daddy were together? Did that mean Pat was dating Mommy?" Nell inquired.</p><p>Carly chuckled softly at Nell's confusion. "Your dad and I were together, but your mom was with someone else and so was Pat. I kind of had a one-sided rivalry with your mom during that time. Before you ask, a rivalry is a um...fight, I guess. I broke things off with your dad when I could see that your parents really did love each other during a karaoke session. Maybe if we all worked things out, your dad and I would still be together."</p><p>"So, if you and Daddy were still together, then you would be my mommy and Henry would be my brother?" Nell logically (from an almost six-year-old's logical viewpoint, to be exact) put together.</p><p>"No," Carly objected. "You'd be a completely different person, and Henry would be, too. Actually, you and Henry never would have even been born."</p><p>Carly remembered when she heard that Shaun and Lea were expecting a baby. She was happy for them and she couldn't wait until she and Pat would have a baby of their own. Soon after Nell was born, Pat proposed to her and she also learned she was pregnant with Henry. Not only was she excited to be a mother, but she was also looking forward to bonding with Lea over motherhood.</p><p>When she learned the devastating news of Lea's death from a postpartum complication six weeks later, Carly was not only sad, but also terrified because she was afraid of something similar happening to her. Because of her fear, she and Pat hesitated from announcing the pregnancy to their families and friends until she was almost in her second trimester as they were excited to announce right after they found out. Fortunately, her pregnancy wasn't as bad as Lea's, but it was still not very pleasant or even a piece of cake; same with the birth. The only complications she dealt with were cervical insufficiency (which was managed with cervical cerclage) and a nuchal cord.</p><p>"Do you know anything else about my mommy?" Nell asked, wanting more and more answers.</p><p>"Not really," answered Carly. "Your dad actually knows more than I do."</p><hr/><p>Dr. Claire Browne, her dad's co-attending and his former co-resident, was the next person Nell asked.</p><p>"Your mom and I barely talked, but your dad would often talk about your mom a lot when they were just neighbors. It's how they met. We did, however, have a brief talk when your dad was in the hospital from a bar fight," answered Claire. "I convinced your dad not to follow her to Hershey just to be with her."</p><p>"Where she is buried?" Nell queried.</p><p>"Yep. She did come back to San Jose, anyway. I didn't really see her until she showed up in the hospital cafeteria wanting to have lunch with your dad, but your dad didn't want to have lunch with her," told Claire.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"He was mad at her for showing up unannounced," replied Claire.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Your dad would be better at explaining that," sighed Claire, unsure how to answer Nell every time she would ask "Why?" after every single question about her mom. She had the same situation with her daughter Aria, except Claire mostly knew how to answer most of the questions as they were usually about her own mother or how the world works in general. "Anyway, I could tell you something else about your mom."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Your mom felt pretty bad after Dr. Melendez died from his injuries in the earthquake," mentioned Claire.</p><p>"The doctor I'm named kind of named after?"</p><p>"Yes. They were at the brewery for a charity event when it happened. Your mom fell into the floor when it collapsed, and Dr. Melendez seemed fine and didn't realize he was injured until it was too late," explained Claire, remembering the survivor's guilt Lea had. She was upset that Neil died from a treatable condition while she walked out without a scratch. "After the whole thing, she kept apologizing to me and Dr. Lim over and over again. I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault. Anyway, maybe you should ask your dad if you want to know more about your mom. He's spent more time with her than I have."</p><p>Claire didn't mention that if Lea was still alive, they probably would have been great friends as they actually had a lot in common. They both had poor relationships with their own mothers as well as commitment issues.</p><hr/><p>Debbie was the next person Nell asked.</p><p>"I didn't talk to your mom that much until she and your dad started dating," Debbie replied. "But due to coronavirus, a horrible disease that was discovered and caused a bad outbreak a year before you were born, we couldn't spend a lot of time together. Glassy and I spent a lot of time apart from your parents during that time, even in the hospital. You're lucky you didn't have to live through that nightmare."</p><p>Barely understanding Debbie's words, Nell continued to bombard her surrogate grandmother with questions.</p><p>"To be honest, I didn't get to know her well or even get close with her until she became pregnant with you," answered Debbie. "I would ask your dad...or maybe Glassy."</p><hr/><p>Nell then asked Dr. Glassman about her mother, still not wanting to make her dad sad.</p><p>"I didn't like your mom when I met her at first...and she didn't like me. She thought I was a nebby old jerk and a grouch," Aaron answered with a chuckle.</p><p>"What's 'nebby'?" Nell asked her surrogate grandfather.</p><p>"Nosy," replied Aaron. "Your mom said it was a Pittsburgh thing. It's a place in Pennsylvania. Anyway, I don't blame your mom for hating me because I did barge into her apartment when we first met."</p><p>"Why did you break into her house? You could go to jail for doing that."</p><p>"I know, and she did threaten to call the police. She didn't. Anyway, I did it because your dad ran away after we had an argument," explained Aaron. "If you're wondering why I didn't like your mom, it's because I thought she was nuts and I was mad at her for talking Shaun into skipping work, kissing him, and then moving away and coming back and moving in with him."</p><p>"You didn't like her?"</p><p>"Nope, I didn't. I mean, I started to once I got to know her better, but it took a long time. I was wrong about her, but even after that we still annoyed each other a lot," clarified Aaron.</p><p>"How?" Nell asked.</p><p>"Well, a couple years before your parents got together, your dad was stuck in the ER due to a contagious virus. So, your mom took me to a doctor's appointment when I was sick. I wasn't very kind to her, and she was trying to be kind to me," admitted Aaron, cringing at the way he used to treat Lea. "When she became pregnant with you, she wasn't acting as bubbly as she used to, probably because she was tired and probably not feeling well. I started to appreciate and like her a bit more a few months before, but I didn't fully appreciate and like her until she became pregnant. You should probably ask your dad. He actually knows more about your mom than me."</p><hr/><p>Nell's Uncle Donnie has told her a lot about her mom, but she was kind of afraid to ask her dad (although he talked about her all the time) about her for fear of making him sad. She was told that her death was devastating to him.</p><p>On the night of Mother's Day when they were sitting at the dinner table, Nell decided to spill the beans over what her dad's friends and acquaintances told her about her mom.</p><p>"Daddy, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"You can ask me anything, peanut," Shaun smiled.</p><p>"I asked everyone about Mommy, and they told me some things, but they kept telling me to ask you. I didn't want to ask you because I didn't want to make you sad. I know Mommy dying made you sad," said Nell.</p><p>"It did, but that doesn't mean I want to forget about her. I talked to you about her all the time," Shaun reassured, appreciative of his daughter trying to be aware of his feelings, but also not wanting her to focus on pleasing him. "Uncle Donnie is your mom's brother and he has said a lot to you about her. I talk to you about your Uncle Steve. We've also talked about Dr. Melendez, especially Claire and Dr. Lim. Has Glassy ever talked to you about Maddie?"</p><p>"Yes. He talks about her all the time."</p><p>"See? Losing a child is more devastating than losing a lover or a sibling, but Glassy talks about his daughter to you, me, and Debbie. Sadness is a normal thing and we shouldn't try to push it away. In fact, your Uncle Donnie talking about your mom, Glassy talking about Maddie, me talking about your mom and your Uncle Steve and my rabbit is actually what makes us feel better about our losses," reasoned Shaun. "Anyway, what do you want to ask me?"</p><p>"Dr. Lim said that you and Mommy had a big fight before the earthquake. What was it about? Morgan said she thought Mommy was a flake and that she broke your heart. Why? Carly said that you and her dated once. Why did Carly and Mommy have a fight? Claire said that you were mad at her for coming back to San Jose. Why? And why did Glassy not like Mommy? And what joke gift did Dr. Park get you? Why did Mommy not like it?" Nell asked a bunch of questions.</p><p>That was a lot of questions for Shaun to answer in one sitting. These questions would be easier to answer if she was a bit older as the answers to the questions were a bit complicated.</p><p>"Maybe I can tell you when you're a bit older, but I can answer some," Shaun replied nervously, thinking of a simpler way to explain. "The fight was about our relationship. I've told you before, all couples do have fights about many things...and they make up and make things right. Not just bad couples like your grandparents."</p><p>"So, Debbie and Glassy fight?" Nell questioned. "And Carly and Pat? And Claire and Dash? And Uncles Donnie and Raul? Even Ava's mommies and Ophelia's parents?"</p><p>"Yes, they usually happen in private and I'm sure they always make up," replied Shaun. "Also, both Morgan and Glassy thought your mom was a flake, and while she was a free spirit and did break my heart, I have to admit that I broke hers, too. We have hurt each other in the past, but we made things right. You should know that couples do fight sometimes just like parents and children. You know that both me and you have had fights before, right?"</p><p>"Yes," replied Nell.</p><p>"Although a few fights aren't bad, when it's all they do and have almost no good moments, then that is when it is bad," explained Shaun. "That's the situation my parents and your mom's parents had. Anyway, Carly and your mom never had a fight that I know of. What exactly did Carly tell you?"</p><p>"Carly said that she and Mommy had a one-sided rivalry, which she said was a kind of fight," answered Nell, confused why Carly would hate her mom.</p><p>"I was closer with your mom while Carly and I were dating. Carly didn't have a fight with your mom or even hate her, she was just a little jealous because I often spent more time with your mom than her. Carly kind of felt like your mom was interfering in our relationship...eh, Carly and I can explain that to you when you're older," sighed Shaun as he struggled to explain.</p><p>"Why were you mad at Mommy when she came back to San Jose from Hershey?" Nell asked, pushing her broccoli around on her plate with her fork.</p><p>That was a question Shaun felt like he could answer easily. "Well, because it's not a good idea to show up without notifying first. It was part of why Glassy didn't like your mom at first. I was a bit too harsh on your mom for that, though. She needed my support when she came back and I didn't give it to her."</p><p>Shaun was aware that there was more detail to everything - the baseball bat incident, Lea using Shaun's autism as an excuse for her real reason, Jake, the fight Lea and Donnie had, etc. He told Nell about how he and Lea met, but not the long journey of them getting together. That story was so long and complicated that he wanted to save it for when she was older and old enough to actually fully understand it a bit.</p><p>After telling Nell that he would explain Dr. Park's joke gift to her when she was a bit older, he thought about the moment when he and Lea told Dr. Glassman and Debbie that they were having a baby.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Shaun and Lea wanted to wait until Lea was 13 weeks, but pregnancy rumors were probably already all over St. Bonaventure, so they discussed at Lea's prenatal appointment yesterday that they would go ahead and tell everyone that they were expecting; starting with Debbie and Dr. Glassman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They originally wanted to save Dr. Glassman and Debbie for last, but they wanted to tell them about the pregnancy themselves and they were concerned that if they told other people at the hospital first, then the truth would spread all over the hospital and someone would already tell them before they could.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With both Shaun and Lea nervous about Dr. Glassman's reaction, they wanted to tell him together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, they now found themselves sitting on the couch in Debbie and Dr. Glassman's living room. They tried to hide her nervousness, but their emotions were definitely obvious to Debbie and Aaron. And with Lea's morning sickness clearly already visible to everyone and her request for Debbie and Aaron not to cook any meat for dinner, they didn't even think her pregnancy was even easy to hide at this point. Funny thing, Dr. Glassman actually asked both of them if Lea was pregnant a few days ago, but the couple denied it and continued to avoid him and Debbie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They didn't think Dr. Glassman was actually convinced by their answer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay, what is going on?" Dr. Glassman interrogated, still sure that he knew the answer. "You both have been acting very weird lately. Why have you both been avoiding communication with us?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea turned her head and looked at Shaun. "Should we just go ahead and tell them?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We need to do it already," sighed Shaun nervously, feeling the sweat drip from his armpits.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tell us what?" Debbie asked, looking at the young couple suspiciously, although she was already predicting what they were about to tell them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea took a deep breath before she was going to answer, but then Shaun interrupted and said the words instead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Lea's pregnant," he blurted out, looking and sounding panicked as he breathed heavily, yet feeling relieved that he finally got it out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea bit her lip nervously, feeling sick and hoping she wouldn't throw up on Glassy and Debbie's new carpet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The room was silent as Debbie and Dr. Glassman exchanged semi-shocked glances with each other. Shaun and Lea avoided eye contact with them, looking like they were ashamed of themselves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?" Dr. Glassman was beside himself, although it wasn't that surprising as he was guessing that was the answer. It was already too obvious. He even muttered an "I knew it" under his breath.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We weren't even trying to conceive. We always use protection and we both know how condoms and birth control works," defended Shaun, his hand ruffling his hair and his face turning red; Lea's as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, we lied. I am pregnant. I'm sorry," Lea apologized, looking up at Dr. Glassman and ready for him to shoot her a negative look, but he just remained calm and continued to just give both of them a neutral look of surprise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How far along are you?" He asked calmly. "How long have you two known about this? You've barely even dated for a year."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ten weeks, I'm due on May 14," replied Lea, clasping her hands tightly. "But we've only known for like six weeks. We wanted to wait longer to tell in case I would miscarry."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you even have a plan for what you're going to do?" Dr. Glassman asked them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We're keeping the baby," answered Shaun. "And before you ask, we already found an OB/GYN and we had our first ultrasound yesterday."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We already worked it out and decided what our plan is. We don't need a giant lecture about this like we're immature teenagers who thought the pull-out method would work. And we have jobs. And no, I'm not going to constantly quit my job when I have a baby to support. Also, yes, we have dated for less than a year, but we've known each other for like three-ish years now," explained Lea, still avoiding eye contact and her face red with embarrassment. "We would still appreciate a little support, though. Even though you're probably upset with us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course we'll support you," assured Debbie. "What makes you think we'd be upset with your or even resent you for this? And, you're right. You're both nearing your thirties, not 16. You're more than old enough to make your own decisions and it's your choice."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because Shaun and I both know Glassy still kind of hates me and thinks I'm a flake," Lea let a tear fall from her face. "My mom would not be happy with me for having a child out of wedlock. She already criticized me for having premarital sex."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's not true, Lea," Dr. Glassman's heart broke when he heard this. He couldn't believe Shaun and Lea actually still thought that. The truth was that he actually started to like Lea a little bit more and was also starting to care about her like she was his daughter. Even if this was Maddie as a teenager, he'd still support her and not disown her. He'd even support Shaun and Lea in their decision if they were teenagers. "I don't really see you as a flake anymore. I really don't even hate you just a little bit. Again, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and for not appreciating you enough. Anyway, I have to admit that I'm a bit concerned, but I'm not upset or angry. I'm glad you're willing to support each other, but even at your age, you still need more emotional support than that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're not mad?" Shaun questioned, feeling a bit relieved.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, I'm happy for both of you. And we were both already sure that Lea was pregnant. Congratulations!" Dr. Glassman was getting enthusiastically teary-eyed, walking up to both Shaun and Lea and giving them hugs. Debbie then gave them some as well. "This is just so exciting, actually!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea was surprised at Glassy's reaction. She didn't expect him to react enthusiastically like this, or even give her a hug. This was the first time he ever hugged her. This made her feel even better that she not only had a supportive partner, but also two supportive surrogate parents to both her and Shaun. She was even more excited to be a mom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun felt the same way.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yep, this chapter was long. I was originally going to make Shaun tell Nell the whole story of how he and Lea got together in this chapter, but then I figured that it is probably way too long and complicated for me to write and cram into one chapter. Also, way too complicated and exhausting to explain for a five or six-year-old's understanding. So, I decided to put it in a later chapter when Nell is older.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Trouble</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On her first day of first grade, Nell gets in trouble at school.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have to warn everyone that this chapter contains bullying. In case you forgot, Delilah is Dr. Andrew's daughter. Also, sorry it took so long to update, I was dealing with so much anxiety and depression that needed to be managed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was going to be a significant year for almost everyone. Dr. Glassman would be retiring, Dr. Lim would be promoted president, and Dr. Andrews would be promoted to chief of surgery. Today was also Nell's first day of first grade and Delilah, Ruby, and Henry's first day of Kindergarten (except Delilah and Ruby would be attending different schools).</p><p>However, Nell was feeling sad because she wasn't going to be in the same class as Ava and Ophelia this year. The good news was that she and Henry might start seeing each other more often and that at least Nell would see her friends at recess and could still see each other outside of school. The bad news was that Scarlet and Paisley were in Nell's class this year.</p><p>And also on the bright side, Henry got Ms. Fraticelli for Kindergarten.</p><p>Additionally on the negative side, Shaun had a bad feeling about Nell's first grade teacher, Mrs. Noland.</p><p>She was a plump old white woman with long, white hair, approaching her seventies...almost as old as Dr. Glassman. She wore glasses that were shaped like they were from the 1960s and an extremely modest floral dress. She didn't seem very kind and she kind of had a horrible, hostile attitude towards him, Nell, and the other parents and children. When Shaun walked into her classroom, he noticed that she used the old-fashioned color change behavioral system. Based on what her syllabus read, she was definitely one of those old-school teachers.</p><p>And speaking of old-school, Shaun had trouble with old-school doctors during med school and sometimes as a resident, who usually weren't quite familiar with the fact that heart attack symptoms were usually different in females or didn't want to try out a newer, easier procedure.</p><p>Still, Shaun tried not to judge her too harshly because she could turn out to be a nice old woman. Shaun didn't think the pre-judgment towards him earlier in his first-year residency was fair, so why should he be judgmental towards Nell's teacher?</p><p>Shaun was mostly mad because at Meet the Teacher Night, Mrs. Noland suspiciously asked him where his wife was three times...and Shaun kept reminding her that <em>Nell's mom</em> was dead and that he and Lea weren't married. Mrs. Noland then shot him a look of possible disapproval like he sinned for having a child before marriage and premarital sex; which Shaun did do both of those things...but those weren't really considered immoral anymore.</p><p>And when Shaun reminded her three times that his daughter went by "Nell", Mrs. Noland kept insisting that she would <em>only</em> call her "Eleanor" and always call her "Eleanor". She said she always called her students by their real names.</p><p><em>You do know that "Nell" is an old-fashioned pet name for Eleanor, right? Nell and Eleanor are actually the same name,</em> Shaun wanted to argue with her, knowing he was right, but decided not to.</p><p>"Okay, that's fine. I'll tolerate this, but if she is cruel to Nell...or if Nell tells me that she was cruel to another student, I'm reporting her," Shaun said to himself.</p><p>The thing is, Mrs. Noland did not seem happy to have to accommodate Nell's autism. Shaun was glad that Ms. Fraticelli was happy to do it, but he knew not every teacher would...and this was something Shaun always dreaded.</p><p>"Have a great first day, peanut! I love you!" Shaun nervously bid goodbye to Nell as he dropped her off at school and then drove himself to work.</p><hr/><p>"Okay, why don't we introduce ourselves. Eleanor Murphy, stand up and tell us things about you. When is your birthday? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite animal? Tell us about your family," Mrs. Noland demanded, gesturing for Nell to stand up.</p><p>Nell stood up from her desk and apprehensively looked around her. She was nervous, so she performed the coping method her dad taught her (which he said her mom taught him).</p><p>"My name is Eleanor, but call me 'Nell'," introduced Nell shyly. "My birthday is May 30th and my favorite color is red. My favorite food is apples, but I will only eat red apples. My daddy only eats green apples. Cats are my favorite animal. My mommy died when I was a baby and my daddy is a doctor."</p><p>"Nell is a stupid name. My mom says it sounds like a fat old lady's name," teased Scarlet, causing Nell's face to turn red.</p><p>Nell expected Mrs. Noland to confront Scarlet, but instead Mrs. Noland ignored Scarlet's mean words. She just listened and let it happen before she finally said something.</p><p>"Sit down, Eleanor!"</p><p>Nell did what she was told and just sat down in her desk, crying.</p><p>Little did Shaun know, he may have been right about Mrs. Noland.</p><hr/><p>Things got better when Nell got to play with Ava and Ophelia on the playground at recess. Since the Kindergarteners would have their recess first, they would sometimes still be outside when the first graders would come out for recess. Unfortunately, Mrs. Noland established an unfair rule that her class could not play with the Kindergarteners or the second graders.</p><p>"I don't like Mrs. Noland," Nell vented to her friends when they told her that their teacher, Mr. Wilson, was the best. "I wish I got Mr. Wilson instead."</p><p>"I wish you did, too," sighed Ava as she, Nell, and Ophelia played with the hula hoops. Ophelia could even walk while swinging the hoop around her hips. Ava and Nell wondered how she was able to do that.</p><p>They wanted to play on the monkey bars and swings, but Nell was terrified of the monkey bars and the swings always seemed to be hogged by Scarlet, Paisley, and Lola.</p><p>"Hi, Nell!" Nell heard a familiar voice call to her, turning around to see that it was Henry.</p><p>"Hi, Henry," Nell greeted back, waving before introducing him to her friends. "This is my friend, Henry. He's in Kindergarten and he has Ms. Fraticelli. His mommy and my daddy work at the same hospital."</p><p>"Do you want to play with us?" Ava asked Henry.</p><p>"But Mrs. Noland said we couldn't play with the Kindergarteners," protested Nell, who was very strict about following rules like her father was.</p><p>"My mom said that not all rules are fair," said Ophelia.</p><p>"Of course, I would love to play with you guys," cheered Henry, and he joined in the fun. Ophelia and Ava promised Nell that they would make it look like they weren't playing with Henry when Mrs. Noland was looking...and that seemed to be working out pretty fine.</p><p>Not so much longer, Henry's teacher blew her whistle, calling for him and his class to come inside.</p><p>"Looks like I have to go," said Henry. "Bye, Nell."</p><p>"Bye, Henry," Nell and her friends bid in unison.</p><p>However, Nell, Ava, and Ophelia were caught by Scarlet and Paisley.</p><p>"You're not supposed to be playing with the Kindergarteners!" Scarlet taunted.</p><p>"So? We saw you playing with your sister who is in Kindergarten? Why is it okay for you to do it and not us?"</p><p>"I'm telling Mrs. Noland!" Scarlet and Paisley were ready to march right up to the teacher and tattle on Nell, which was sending Nell into a meltdown where she was tugging hard on her brown strands of hair.</p><p>"No! No! No! Don't tell!" Nell protested, running over to Scarlet to stop her, only to accidentally push her onto the ground.</p><p>Scarlet fake-cried, sitting on the concrete pretending to be hurt. "Mrs. Noland! Mrs. Noland! Nell hit me and then pushed me!"</p><p>"And she was also playing with the Kindergarteners!" Paisley added.</p><p>In less than ten seconds, Mrs. Noland was marching right over to the girls...and this was spiraling Nell into an even bigger meltdown.</p><p>"Eleanor!" She scolded. "Did you push Scarlet?" Ava and Ophelia tried to defend their friend, but Mrs. Noland silenced them and commanded Nell to sit out. "And your father is not going to be happy about you getting in trouble on the first day of school."</p><p>For the rest of recess, Nell just sat in the shade and cried.</p><hr/><p>Back at St. Bonaventure, Shaun was having lunch with Claire, Carly, and Pat. Together, they were talking about their kids' first day of school.</p><p>"To be honest, I'm kind of nervous about this," admitted Carly. "It's probably because it is hard to believe that Henry is actually in Kindergarten now."</p><p>"I can't believe Nell is in first grade already," added Shaun. "But at least Ms. Fraticelli is a nice teacher, so I think Henry is in the best hands."</p><p>"That's true," Pat agreed with Shaun. "But I bet you're hoping that Nell's teacher this year is good."</p><p>"I actually have a bad feeling about Mrs. Noland, to be honest," confessed Shaun, nervously poking his food around with his fork.</p><p>"Why?" Claire questioned. Her daughter Aria was only two, and she wasn't quite in school just yet.</p><p>"She looks mean and I don't trust her. She did not look happy to have to accommodate Nell's autism," replied Shaun. "A lot of my teachers didn't want to."</p><p>"Oh," sighed Carly, looking like she totally got it. "My parents had that problem with some of Andie's teachers. And just in case, I'm sorry that Nell might have a horrible teacher this year."</p><p>"I'll try to manage. Maybe she won't be as bad as I think. I'm trying to stay open-minded," optimized Shaun, trying to look at some positives while also changing the subject. "Did Aria have separation anxiety?"</p><p>"Absolutely," answered Claire. "Dash dropped her off and he told me that she completely lost it when he left."</p><p>"I totally get it," sighed Carly, her facial expression completely somber and mirroring Pat and Shaun's. "I've been there before."</p><p>"Me, too," chimed in Shaun as soon as he heard his phone chime, signaling that he got an email. "Hang on."</p><hr/><p>Shaun's shift ended early, so he was able to pick Nell up from school...and he really needed to pick up Nell from school at the right time because he needed to talk to her about what happened at school today.</p><p>He had received an email from Mrs. Noland that Nell had misbehaved today, and he needed to know why. He needed to make sure whether Mrs. Noland was an unfair teacher, the situation was a total misunderstanding, or if Nell just made a bad choice.</p><p>When the two of them got home after the silent ride, they immediately sat on the couch and instead of answering what exactly she did wrong, Nell just handed her father her take-home folder.</p><p>"You got a red today," observed Shaun. "It says that you hit Scarlet and you didn't follow directions."</p><p>This was a shock for Shaun. Nell never got in trouble last year in Mrs. Fraticelli's class, and that teacher never used the color changing behavior system.</p><p>"Am I in trouble? Mrs. Noland said that you weren't going to be happy," sniffed Nell, looking ashamed and avoiding eye contact with her dad.</p><p>"I won't decide that until I fully understand what happened at school today," explained Shaun, trying to reassure Nell that he always had her back while also letting her know that she can't just get away with everything. "First, can you tell me what directions you didn't follow? What rule did you break?"</p><p>"We weren't supposed to play with the Kindergarteners, but Henry wanted to play with me, Ava, and Ophelia and we let him. Scarlet played with her little sister at recess and she told on me for it," explained Nell, curling herself into a fetal position on the couch.</p><p>Shaun wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. "That's kind of a silly rule, don't you think?"</p><p>"Ava and Ophelia say so. Ophelia's mom said that not all rules are fair."</p><p>"Okay, and why did you hit Scarlet?" Shaun knew that Scarlet and Nell were arch enemies, but he didn't want Nell to be hitting her for no reason. "You shouldn't hit people."</p><p>"It was an accident! She was going to tell on me and then I accidentally pushed her down! I said I was sorry, but then she kept telling on me!" Nell defended, sobbing as if she was pleading for her life.</p><p>"Did Mrs. Noland give you a chance to explain everything?" Shaun asked, scooting himself closer to Nell to comfort her. "You may have gotten in trouble at school, but you're not in trouble with me."</p><p>"No! She just made me go sit in time-out! I hate Mrs. Noland! I hate her! I want to be in Mr. Wilson's class!" Nell vented, crying into her dad's chest. Shaun was now pissed at both Scarlet and Mrs. Noland.</p><p>"I'll see what I can do about this," reassured Shaun. "I understand what it is like to be bullied. I was bullied, too. Except my parents didn't care at all. Your Uncle Steve did, but our parents never helped us and most of the teachers didn't either. But, you have me to help you, right? And you have Ava and Ophelia as friends, right?"</p><p>Nell nodded and then hugged her dad tighter and continued to tell him everything.</p><p>The next morning, Shaun made a call to the school and asked if he could switch Nell to Mr. Wilson's class or move Scarlet and Paisley to another class, but they told him he'd just have to make do. He hoped that his complaint about Mrs. Noland not defending Nell when Scarlet was mean to her would be taken seriously, though.</p><p>He knew that he couldn't protect Nell from everything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Nell's worst teacher ever is named after my old 7th grade English teacher, who was the absolute worst. Again, feel free to review if you'd like :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Like Mother, Like Daughter?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When Shaun considers getting Nell screened for an ADHD diagnosis, her starts to wonder if Lea might have had it as well.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As a woman with ADHD, I actually always wondered if Lea could have undiagnosed ADHD (as that's also a fan theory). Also, I must warn you that there is a brief mention of statutory rape in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shaun wanted to equally share parenting responsibilities with Lea and he didn't want to dump all of the responsibilities on her, but he and Lea both considered the fact that Shaun's job as a surgeon was probably going to make spending quality time with family a bit difficult. They actually made an agreement that Shaun would use any of the time he had off to spend time with her and their child and bond with them. They both even asked Dr. Park for advice on how he was able to spend more quality time with Kellan when he moved to San Jose. He told them they needed to get creative. Other than have some reliance on St. Bonaventure's childcare center (which did make things a bit easier), one way Shaun and Lea wanted to get creative was by having Lea bring Nell to work with her whenever they were outside of business hours and always have breakfast, lunch, or dinner together at the hospital whenever they could.</p><p>Unfortunately, being a doctor with a demanding job and a single parent made things an even bigger challenge than Shaun was prepared for because finding extra additional childcare without a parenting partner post paternity leave was not easy, especially when it came to getting her to and from school. If Lea was still alive and still working her latest part time job at the hospital, she'd probably be the one who would usually take Nell to and from school.</p><p>Now that Lea's striped tomato had died, Shaun had to get rid of the old car. Instead of buying a new car, he decided to go back to taking the bus to and from the hospital, which he was fine with because he believed that he should use public transportation more often, and he'd been doing that for awhile as the striped tomato was starting to show signs of dying. However, Shaun could no longer drive Nell to school, so it was either have her ride the bus, car pool, walk, or all three. Shaun decided to have Nell take the bus to school and/or carpool with Ava, but because of some of Shaun's early shifts that would have him needing to wake up at 3:00 in the morning before Nell, he couldn't always walk her to the bus stop and she wasn't quite ready to start walking there by herself and she didn't have an older sibling to look after her. He also wasn't ready to leave her home alone while she was still asleep just yet.</p><p>Thankfully, Dr. Glassman had retired and Debbie didn't have to work a lot of shifts, so Shaun would have his surrogate parents pitch in with watching over Nell, making her dinner, and getting her to and from school whenever Shaun had a shift outside of school hours and business hours. Nevertheless, Shaun still wanted to prepare Nell for getting to and from school by herself and being left home alone, which was probably what was going to happen in a couple of years. He sometimes couldn't help but feel like he was burdening Dr. Glassman, Debbie, Nell's friends' parents, his next-door neighbor, and even a few babysitters with his responsibility - thinking he should have hired a nanny instead like Dr. Lim did - but they reassured him that it wasn't a problem at all.</p><p>It was hard for Shaun to admit that Nell was stressful and exhausting as he did find himself sacrificing some time he would have wanted to have for himself, but he wasn't afraid to admit that she was worth it.</p><p>Other than all of that, at seven-years-old, Nell was currently a second grader and this school year seemed to start out a lot better than last year so far.</p><p>The only good thing about last year's school year for Nell was that Mrs. Noland announced via email to her students' parents that she was retiring and wouldn't be teaching the following year. When Shaun read the entire email, he texted Carly, telling her to tell Henry that he didn't have to worry about having Mrs. Noland next year.</p><p>To make things better, not only was Nell's second grade teacher, Ms. Sarafian, better as well as much more trustworthy and happy to accommodate, but Ava and Ophelia were also in the exact same class with her while Scarlet, Paisley, and Lola were in a completely different class.</p><p>In addition, Nell and her two friends also made a new friend, Mabel Doan. She had just moved here from El Paso, Texas after her mother received her PhD and got a job as a college professor in the environmental services department at UC San Jose. She also had cerebral palsy and used a wheelchair to get around.</p><p>However, it was November and Shaun had recently been getting notes, emails, and phone calls from Ms. Sarafian about Nell's behavior to where she even asked him to have a meeting with him.</p><hr/><p>Shaun sat down nervously on one of the desks in Ms. Sarafian's classroom. The size of the classroom chairs and the height of the classroom desks made it impossible for him to put his knees under the desk. Until now, Shaun had never realized how small these desks and chairs were...which was why he was sitting on one of the desks instead of in the chair while Ms. Sarafian talked to him about Nell.</p><p>"Dr. Murphy, Nell is a good kid. She's intelligent, kind, sweet, and sometimes brutally honest," began Ms. Sarafian. "But there is something we should talk about. However, I'm going to reassure you that she's not in any trouble."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"She does often have self-focused behavior. I'm not saying she doesn't care about others, but she does seem to have trouble recognizing other people's needs and desires. She has a habit of interrupting people and not waiting her turn, especially during class time activities or when playing games with others," explained Ms. Sarafian.</p><p>"I know, I'm trying to help her work on those things. Her mom was kind of that way," said Shaun nervously as he rubbed his hands together. "And I'm also kind of like that too, but I'm also trying to work on that and set a good example."</p><p>"That's great," Ms. Sarafian noted. "But Nell also does have trouble keeping her emotions in check, as I have told you in some of the past emails about the outbursts of anger at inappropriate times."</p><p>"Yes," acknowledged Shaun, aware of the notes and emails he has received about the outbursts Nell has had over her frustration with certain things like a few math problems. They didn't just happen in school, but they also happened at home as well when Shaun would help her with her homework.</p><p>"She often has trouble sitting still. She fidgets and squirms in her chair," continued Ms. Sarafian.</p><p>"Is that a problem? Because sitting still isn't actually helpful for everyone. It's how she stims," defended Shaun, hoping Nell's teacher wasn't trying to suppress her stims.</p><p>"No, not at all," reassured Ms. Sarafian. "I don't mind her fidgeting and she isn't disrupting anything. However, she does seem to be having trouble focusing in class. She also has a tendency to make careless mistakes and is quite the daydreamer. She also forgets stuff a lot."</p><p>Shaun could agree with that. Sometimes, Nell would tell him that she heard him, but wouldn't be able to repeat back what he just said. She also sometimes forgot to finish her homework or finish doing a chore. Those were also issues that Lea had. "I've helped her create a routine schedule so she would be less forgetful."</p><p>"That's great, Dr. Murphy. But there is a reason why I wanted to have this meeting with you. I'm aware that Nell is autistic and that you are as well, but have you ever considered that Nell could probably also have ADHD?" Ms. Safarian asked.</p><p>Shaun paused when he heard those words. He knew what ADHD was, but he didn't really even consider it at all. "No, I haven't. I thought it was just normal behavior for a child."</p><p>"Well, I think maybe you should get her screened for a diagnosis," advised Ms. Safarian.</p><hr/><p>Once Shaun got home and put Nell to bed, he thought about what Ms. Safarian had told him. He read medical journals a lot, but he never ever thought about the possibility of Nell having ADHD. Honestly, he felt a little guilty for not noticing or even considering it as he thought it was probably due to gender bias. Just like autism, ADHD was a developmental disability that was often considered to be something mostly noticeable in white boys while overlooked in adults, females, and people of color. Shaun considered the possibility of an autistic child because he himself was autistic and had more experience with it, but he didn't have that much knowledge about ADHD and he doesn't recall ever being close with anyone who ever had it.</p><p>But despite all that, he needed to start doing more research on ADHD whether Nell had it or not. When he did his research, he found an article that said 93% of physicians had no training on ADHD. And unfortunately, he just realized that even he still had some ignorance he needed to work on; not just about ADHD in general, but also ADHD in females.</p><p>Additionally the more he read about it, the more he wondered if maybe Lea could have had it.</p><p>Impulsiveness, poor time management, easily sidetracked, easily bored, thinking outside the box, living in the moment, overreactive, hypersensitive to criticism, rejection sensitivity, struggling to fit in, forgetfulness, disorganized, disordered eating, low self-esteem, easily forgiving, difficulty maintaining jobs and relationships, frequent regrettable outbursts, short-tempered, poor self-image, emotional problems - those were the words in the articles that often stuck out to him because those were things that often applied to Lea.</p><p>Things like showing up at Shaun's place without warning, reckless driving, jumping into a freezing lake in the winter, and interrupting his and Carly's night out were classic impulsive behaviors of Lea. Time management was also something Lea struggled with as she had a huge problems with procrastination and showing up late for things. Lea herself even admitted that she forgets things a lot and was often disorganized, often misplacing and losing her keys and phone - and all the way up until the day she died, she would still forget about the toilet paper and where the TV remote belonged. It actually escalated to slightly unusual levels during her pregnancy, and Shaun remembered instances such as the time she forgot how to turn on a computer and the time she almost walked out of the apartment without pants on. Also during her pregnancy, frequent regrettable outbursts from Lea had increased. She also had a tendency to overreact to things and had a hard time taking criticism very well. And speaking of harsh criticism, Shaun would always regret what he told her in the parking garage, as he realized how much he had hurt her that night and how stupid he was.</p><p>But some of these traits had positive things. For instance, Lea's creativity thinking outside the box is how she was able to come up with an analogy related to performing surgery in order to help Shaun learn to drive. She also liked to live in the moment, which was actually a smart thing to do because she tragically died at the age of 29. She was also easily forgiving towards other people (especially towards Dr. Glassman with his earlier attitudes towards her), but sometimes Shaun thought she might have been too forgiving of the baseball bat incident. After the earthquake, they both realized that they actually needed to work on their issues if they were ever going to work out.</p><p>Shaun also read that ADHD in females was often tied to serious emotional baggage, which often included feelings of frustration, inadequacy, incompetence, low self-esteem, and being overwhelmed. That could possibly explain Lea's avoidance behavior, self-blame, and self-criticism.</p><p>
  <em>"Everyone is so competitive here. If you haven't made a million dollars by 30, you're a total loser."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You think you're the only one who needs someone who doesn't judge them, doesn't make them feel totally alone, like there's not one person who actually gives a damn about them!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Romantic relationships are unpredictable, so much can go wrong, especially when I am involved."<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The fish isn't the problem. I am. I'm pathetic."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't tell Glassy. He already thinks I'm a flake."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, too, but I'm selfish and so, so needy. I'm a mess. How am I supposed to just lay all that on you? I am a challenge for anyone."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm happy, but I don't even deserve to be happy."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This baby hasn't even been born yet and I'm already a bad mother! I already made an immoral decision by deciding to bring a baby into a terrible world!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm supposed to love every single moment of being pregnant and be grateful for this, but I actually hate most of this and all I want to do is just drink but I'm not even allowed to have alcohol!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't think she likes me. She already favors you over me since you got to hold her first."</em>
</p><p>All this time, other people just thought that Lea was a flake and perceived her as stupid and immature, but Shaun was realizing that something was adding up and the pieces were fitting. Even after Shaun and Lea started working on their issues, her self-esteem and self-loathing issues still didn't go away. In fact, they really took a toll on her during her pregnancy and even during postpartum...part of it having to do with external forces such as societal pressures and expectations often put on mothers.</p><p>For instance, Lea immediately decided to switch to pumping breast milk after one attempt at breastfeeding. She found nursing to be too painful and difficult. However, thanks to the "breast is best" mantra she was still hard on herself despite still technically feeding breast milk to Nell...just not straight from her breast. Even if Shaun, the nurse, and the lactation consultant supported her choice without judgment, there were still going to be people who would make her feel bad for her decision or even assume that the bottle was full of baby formula (and Shaun had to switch Nell to formula after Lea died, yet he wouldn't have gotten as many dirty looks as Lea did). Also while on the outside, it looked like Lea easily bonded with Nell right after she was born, but the truth was that even after feeling the bliss of holding her daughter, Lea felt a disconnect with her during the first two weeks when Nell would usually be fussy in Lea's arms compared to while she was in Shaun's.</p><p>Although that could have just been the usual baby blues, Lea's self-esteem issues also played into that.</p><p>In addition, Shaun even called Donnie and asked him about what Lea was like as a child. What he described to Shaun almost sounded a bit similar to what Ms. Sarafian described about Nell. Donnie also told Shaun that Lea was quite the people pleaser. She was a straight A student, yet she always beat herself up over getting a B as her mother drilled it into her and Donnie's heads that colleges and universities only liked As and saw Bs as average. Nevertheless, studying was difficult for Lea and she worked hard to maintain her straight A average, yet she still didn't make it as valedictorian, salutatorian, or even into the Top Ten. Also, most of extracurriculars she was involved in, she didn't even want to join in the first place. Volleyball, symphonic band, student council, National Honor Society, cheerleading - she only participated in to please her mother. And while her mother was the one who forced her into gymnastics, Lea did enjoy the activity when she was younger...but once the pressure from her coach to remain skinny and perform dangerous routines got to her as she got older, it started to take a major toll on her self esteem, and it took a lot of bribery for her to get her mother to allow her to quit. However, not long after that, Lea ironically joined cheerleading, another activity that frankly required a certain body type and weight as well as involving dangerous routines. And since Lea's mother often criticized her for her weight, Shaun sometimes wondered how Lea managed to avoid developing an eating disorder concerning statistics; people involved in both appearance-based and performance-based sports like figure skating, ballet, dance, cheerleading, and gymnastics had higher risks of eating disorders. Being a people pleaser also got Lea into easily succumbing to peer pressure, one example including her first boyfriend pressuring her into having sex until she agreed to it even though she wasn't ready (and the worst thing, Lea was 15 while her boyfriend was 18). She was lucky she didn't get pregnant or an STI because they didn't use protection.</p><p>The only difference was that when Lea was a child, gender differences in autism and ADHD weren't even talked about as the inclusion of females in clinical research didn't even become law until 1993, which was extremely close to the years Shaun and Lea were born. So, it didn't really surprise Shaun that Lea would have gotten overlooked.</p><p>However, even in the modern day, Shaun didn't consider this...and he didn't even think about the possibility until years after Lea's death. He wish he acceded this earlier while she was still alive because if Lea knew about this, she would probably feel a bit more relieved. And as autism and ADHD did have some things in common, it was almost no wonder Shaun and Lea had a good connection. They were basically autism and ADHD solidarity...and their child was basically a product of it.</p><p>And certainly enough, when Shaun got Nell screened for an ADHD diagnosis, the diagnosis was correct. Other than being autistic like her dad, Nell also had ADHD...just like her mom. Lea had no idea, but she was neurodivergent her whole life and Shaun didn't even realize that Lea was also neurodivergent like him. It didn't even occur to him until their daughter was going to get diagnosed.</p><p>ADHD explained everything about Lea. It explained her impulsiveness, her forgetfulness, her poor time management, her difficulty in maintaining jobs and relationships, and her low-self esteem (even though some of that was her mother's fault). It all made sense.</p><p>Even as an attending, Shaun was going to learn new things.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, it's official. Lea did have ADHD, except its a posthumous diagnosis.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Surgery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For the very first time, Nell needs to have surgery.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before you read this, I must warn you that there are mentions of disturbing medical things and medical cases (one of them involving parasites) in this chapter that you can't unsee once you've heard about them. I hope you all enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Shaun working the night shift, Nell was being looked after by Debbie and Dr. Glassman. Despite what most people would have expected, Aaron and Debbie did not fit the stereotype of overindulgent grandparents who spoil their grandchildren rotten. They strictly followed every single bit of Shaun's rules every time Nell was left in their care. That meant making sure her homework was finished, nutritionally adequate meals, not letting her stay up past her bedtime (unless it was Friday or Saturday), no unlimited sugar and junk food access, and not showering her with a bunch of unnecessary gifts.</p>
<p>They also didn't scare Nell with mythical monsters like Shaun and Lea claimed their grandparents would do in order to get them and their siblings to comply. For instance, Shaun said that he used to be afraid of hearing or running into a banshee at night because his Nana Eugenia told him and Steve that there was a banshee living in her basement in order to keep her grandsons from doing things like going through her things or wandering off. And as much as Lea loved her Grandma Ellie and Grandpa Rod and even named Nell after one of them, they did give her and her brother unnecessary anxiety by telling them not to wander far or else they'd run into a borda.</p>
<p>Getting Nell to go to bed or stay in bed was usually a nightly hassle for Shaun, Aaron, and Debbie...but today seemed to be a totally different story. She seemed pretty tired when Debbie and Aaron picked her up from school and when she said she wasn't hungry, she said that she just wanted to go straight to bed despite it being Friday. Both Aaron and Debbie thought it was odd and asked Nell if she was feeling okay. But the only answer they were given was "I'm just tired."</p>
<p>When they tucked her into bed at 7:00 pm, they noticed that she felt a little warm, so they took her temperature and the result showed that she had a slight fever. It was flu season after all, so they both came to the conclusion that Nell had the flu. So, they brought in the bed table and provided her with saltines, ginger ale, broth, and a cup of water. Neither of them worried until 10:00 in the evening when they were startled by the sound of Nell coughing and gagging followed by wails of pain.</p>
<p>They both immediately ran into her room and turned on the lights to notice that she had vomited on her bed sheets and was curled up in a fetal position.</p>
<p>"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Debbie asked worriedly as she allowed Nell to nudge herself closer to her and lean on her for comfort while Aaron went to get towels and cleaning supplies. Nell felt like the lower right side of her abdomen was being stabbed. It worsened every time she moved.</p>
<p>"My tummy hurts!" The seven-year-old cried, tears of pain in her eyes as she clutched her lower left side, which caught Debbie's attention. She didn't think this was the flu at all. This was probably something more urgent and serious.</p>
<p>When Aaron walked back into the room with the cleaning supplies, he saw the worried expression on Debbie's face. "Aaron, we need to take her to the hospital, this is not the flu," she demanded. "I think she might have appendicitis or something."</p>
<p>Without arguing, Aaron wrapped Nell in a blanket and then carried her out to the car.</p>
<hr/>
<p>As a surgeon and a parent, gross and messy things were nothing unusual to Shaun.</p>
<p>He's handled the messy parts of parenthood. He's changed diapers, cleaned up accidents, got his clothes stained with someone else's bodily fluids, been drooled on, been vomited on, attempted to catch vomit with his bare hands, extracted things out of the toilet with his bare hands, picked someone else's nose, wiped snotty noses, sucked the snot out of someone else's nose, had chewed up food spat out into his hand, and demanded something inedible to be spat out into his hand.</p>
<p>Even before he became a parent, he's fixed thousands of severe "boo-boos" and has handled the messiest tasks as a doctor. He's had his hands deep inside someone's open body and dug through someone else's internal organs. He's had bodily fluids like blood splatter onto him before. He's removed foreign objects from other people's bodies - magnets small enough to be swallowed from an infant's digestive tract, a Lego from a toddler's nose, a light bulb from a teenager's mouth, and even a barbie doll's arm from a man's urethra (apparently he ordered a sex doll off eBay, and when it turned out to be a barbie doll, he was so angry that he ripped off the barbie's arm and shoved it up his penis). Plus, the birth of his own child wasn't the first time he ever witnessed the messy miracle of childbirth (that includes all of the vaginal births and the c-sections he'd ever assisted with) and it wasn't the first time he ever cut an umbilical cord either.</p>
<p>But never during his almost 14 years as a doctor (counting his third and fourth years of medical school) and his almost eight years as a parent has he ever had to do something as gross as this. Four hours ago, a man had come into the ER acting like he was in the transition phase or second stage of labor. When Shaun was just about to give him a rectal exam, he noticed a worm hanging out of the man's anus. The patient refused surgical removal of the parasite and asked Shaun and his two residents to just pull it out now. They had to do it carefully, though. While Josh was pretty amused (even commenting that it was like a magician's handkerchief) by the whole thing, Shaun, Kylie, and Nurse Fletcher were disgusted. As for for the patient himself, he was freaking out. Once the entire tapeworm was out of the man's rectum, poor Kylie fainted, hitting her head hard on a tray of instruments and getting a concussion. Nurse Fletcher actually gagged a little bit. Even medical professionals - doctors, nurses, and EMTs - can sometimes get grossed out by nature.</p>
<p>However, that didn't stop Shaun from getting a late dinner with Claire in the hospital cafeteria. "You will not believe what just happened in the ER," he sighed as he sat down at the table with Claire, who had just finished a long surgery.</p>
<p>"Two days ago, I removed a toy car from the nose of a 35-year-old man who shoved it up there because he wanted to find out how his kid was able to get it that far up. Try me," snorted Claire. She and Shaun often liked to compete over the most bizarre medical cases they ever handled.</p>
<p>"I just pulled a 25-meter-long tapeworm out of a 42-year-old man's anus. Kylie fainted and Josh said it was like a magician's handkerchief," shared Shaun.</p>
<p>"Wait, Kylie fainted?" That shocked Claire a bit since Dr. Torres' letter of recommendation from her former med school teacher said that she was the least squeamish out of all the students. "And Josh's comment. Does that sound familiar to you? You've said something like that before as a doctor. And I think you win this one."</p>
<p>"I know," Shaun chuckled a bit. Out of all of his residents, Josh Martin won the award for worst bedside manner. Although sweet, he was kind of a doofus. For Shaun, teaching Josh sometimes felt like he was teaching a clone of his younger self...or maybe a clone of Lea. He did have ADHD.</p>
<p>Their conversation was interrupted when he received a text from Dr. Glassman.</p>
<p>
  <strong>DR. GLASSMAN: You need to come to the ER right now. Nell is sick. She has a fever and severe abdominal pain. We think it may be appendicitis.</strong>
</p>
<p>Shaun immediately sprinted to the ER once he received Dr. Glassman's text, not feeling this terrified since Lea had a seizure. When he got there, Nell was already in one of the beds being looked after by a doctor and Nurse Fletcher. Dr. Glassman and Debbie were keeping her company.</p>
<p>"Oh, thank goodness," Dr. Glassman breathed out a sigh of relief as soon as he saw Shaun, walking up to him. "She's been crying for you. She doesn't want anyone to treat her but you, but we told her that doctors can't treat their own family members."</p>
<p>Without saying a word, Shaun immediately went over to Nell's side to give her comfort. "It's alright, peanut. I'm here now."</p>
<p>It broke his heart to see his little girl in this much pain. She's been sick before, but never like this. Although she'd been to St. Bonaventure many times and was even born here, she's never been here as a patient (with the exception of being a newborn)...not even for something like stitches. She was obviously terrified, and Shaun could completely empathize because even as a doctor, being the patient can be a scary thing.</p>
<p>"If you do have appendicitis, odds are that you're going to be fine because the majority of cases are not too serious," he reassured.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aaron and Debbie had left Shaun and Nell alone while Claire examined Nell (Shaun thought it would also be good to have Nell seen by a doctor that she was familiar with). "We'll need a CT scan and we're also going to need to draw some blood," she explained after she finished pressing down on Nell's abdomen.</p>
<p>Nell immediately started panicking. She had gotten used to shots, but getting blood drawn was a different thing.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, it's okay," soothed Shaun, running his hand through Nell's hair and gently using the other to hold her arm still as the nurse prepared to draw her blood. "Just keep looking at me and squeeze Phoebe like I squeeze a ball when donating blood."</p>
<p>Nell winced and squeezed her kitten security blanket as she felt the sharp needle enter her arm; the nurse explaining everything she was doing, which was proven to make a kid feel safer.</p>
<p>"It's okay, it's okay, she's almost done," solaced Shaun, remembering how he wasn't the easiest patient to deal with as a child.</p>
<p>"There we go, we're all done," Nurse Fletcher soothed as she put a band-aid over the area. "You did good, sweetie."</p>
<p>"You did better than your mom and me did when we got our blood drawn as kids. I punched the nurse in the face and your mom said that she bit the doctor," shared Shaun, also wanting to provide Nell with a little bit of humor.</p>
<hr/>
<p>After a CT scan was done on Nell's abdomen, it was revealed that she had appendicitis and needed to have surgery. Her dad already explained to her what the appendix and appendicitis was when he read her the book <em>Madeline </em>and he also told her that her Uncle Steve had appendicitis once, but he never got to explain to her the entire procedure of removing her appendix until now.</p>
<p>"The doctors will remove your appendix with the help of a laparoscope, which as I've told you before, is a camera that lets them see inside the body. They'll make a small incision into your belly button and then insert the tube and they will also make two more small incisions for the surgical tools. They'll use those tools to cut away the appendix from your large intestine and remove it. It is more beneficial over the usual open appendectomy, which is the kind of appendectomy Madeline had since that was how it was done in the 1930s," Shaun explained.</p>
<p>"I know it's scary, but it's an easy procedure," reassured Claire. "You're going to be just fine. Your dad and I have done this procedure more than once."</p>
<p>Pretty soon, Nell was whisked away to surgery prep, Shaun coming with her and holding her hand.</p>
<p>"Have you ever had this done to you before like Uncle Steve did?" Nell asked as she lay on the operating table, obviously nervous as her grip on her father's hand was pretty tight.</p>
<p>"Have I ever had an appendectomy done on me before? Not really," replied Shaun. "But you do know I have had surgery done on me before, except it wasn't to have my appendix removed. I told you that I had to have my tonsils removed when I was nine, right? I was just as nervous as you are right now."</p>
<p>It wasn't long before a nurse slipped a mask over Nell's face and asked her to count backwards from ten, Shaun not letting go of her hand. "I love you. I'll be there when you wake up."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Shaun, Dr. Glassman, and Debbie waited by Nell's bedside for her to wake up after the surgery was finished. The last time he ever had to wait a loved one's bedside for them to wake up was the day Nell was born. Lea had a 33-hour long labor with a few complications, one of them involving her uterus being turned inside out and needing to be fixed with surgery.</p>
<p>It felt like forever until Nell started to stir and finally wake up. Just as the three of them expected, she was a little disoriented and groggy.</p>
<p>"Hey, peanut," Shaun cooed, rubbing Nell's arm and placing Phoebe next to her. "How are you feeling? Phoebe is right next to you."</p>
<p>"I'm...ready for the operation," she said slowly.</p>
<p>"The operation is over," said Debbie. "You're all better now."</p>
<p>"You're probably going to feel a little nauseous because of the anesthesia, but you'll be fine," added Dr. Glassman before turning to Shaun. "You made it."</p>
<p>"Made what?" Shaun questioned, not sure what Dr. Glassman meant when he said that. This wasn't the first time Nell has gotten sick before, except those were things like colds, seasonal allergies, stomach flu, ear infections, pinkeye, strep throat, and other things. Shaun's also treated a bunch of her minor injuries.</p>
<p>"You made it through your child's first medical crisis," joked Dr. Glassman, clapping Shaun on the back. "Anyway, I guess this must have been your craziest shift since one of the patients in the ER was your own child."</p>
<p>"That's not why this shift was the craziest," whispered Shaun, slightly frowning. "I just pulled a 25-meter-long tapeworm out of a patient's anus and then one of my residents fainted at the sight of it while my other resident was totally amused. I never thought I would be so disgusted. Try me."</p>
<p>"Fair point," chuckled Dr. Glassman.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Mean Girls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun and his residents handle a teenage patient with a heartbreaking situation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I will apologize for the terrible chapter summary, but readers are welcome to review this chapter or my story as I do like constructive criticism. I will warn you though that this chapter does talk a lot about bullying and there is teen pregnancy (plus slight explicit detail related to postpartum) in this chapter. Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy it anyway.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Friday afternoon in the St. Bonaventure cafeteria when Shaun and Claire were having lunch together, conversing their worries about their daughters dealing with bullies, especially mean girls. Aria was only in Kindergarten and Nell was only in third grade.</p><p>For instance, it had been a rough week for Nell and her friends because of a terrible incident that almost tore them apart. Apparently, Scarlet, Lola, and Paisley (the mean girls) thought of ways to pit Nell and her friends against each other by telling them lies. For example, Paisley told Nell that Ava said she didn't really like Nell and thought she was weird. And Lola told Ava that Nell said she thought Ava's hair was ugly and that she didn't really like Ava. However, none of those things were really true at all (and those weren't the only lies those girls told Nell and her friends)...but that still caused a huge fight between Nell, Ava, and the rest of their friend group.</p><p>Nell came home crying about it on Wednesday and then told Shaun the whole story of what happened. He was shocked, but to be 100% sure, he asked Nell if she heard her friends say that, if her friends actually told her that, or if one of her worst enemies said that. When Nell said that she didn't tell Scarlet, Lola, or Paisley any of those things and that those three girls were the ones who told her that's what her friends said, Shaun called (and received some calls) from Nell's friends' parents about the same thing. They all came to the conclusion that this was all just a misunderstanding and that those girls were trying to pit them against each other.</p><p>The friendships were reconciled and the fight that never should have happened was over, but Shaun knew that wasn't going to be the last time Nell would have to deal with mean girls or those three girls in particular - those spoiled, superficial, ableist, racist (they would bully Ava because of her natural hair), prejudiced bitches (a word Shaun didn't really like to use at all).</p><p>Shaun has dealt with bullies before multiple times as a child, but dealing with them as a parent was a much different story. Dr. Glassman warned him about this, and Shaun imagined that it was only going to get worse during the teen years. But at least Nell was lucky to have friends to stand up for her and a parent who cared. Shaun also encouraged Nell to stand up for her friends as well.</p><p>Claire felt the same way.</p><p>"I'm glad the conflict between Nell and her friends was just a misunderstanding," his co-attending sighed as she took a bite from her salad, after he told her about the incident. "I've dealt with mean girls, and I'm not looking forward to Aria having to deal with them. Aria is only in Kindergarten and she already has a rival at school. She vents about this girl a lot. Also, frenemies, fake friends, toxic friends, rumor spreading, backbiting, ostracizing, name-calling, manipulation - it all starts in elementary school and I'm already preparing myself to help her deal with those. Then it could later become things like slut-shaming. And I also learned that mean girl behavior will continue into adulthood and become things like mommy-shaming and I even remember reading an article about mean girls in retirement homes."</p><p>"I've been a victim of both physical aggression and relational aggression, and I have to say that relational aggression hurt so much more than physical aggression," lamented Shaun, painfully remembering the moment when Colleen Myers almost tricked him into exposing himself. He knew that autistic people like him and Nell were often targets for bullying...and with the addition of ADHD, that probably increased her chances. And as Shaun has read about the gender differences in bullying behavior, and research has shown that females may usually bully using relational aggression (compared to physical aggression with males) - a type of aggression that is a bit more tricky for outsiders to notice.</p><p>"Based on my own experience, I agree with you. However, to be honest, there is nothing I fear more than Aria becoming a mean girl because I myself am ashamed to admit that I have participated in mean girl behavior just to fit in, and part of it was also taking all of my problems and frustrations at home out on other people at school," Claire shuddered fearfully.</p><p>"I'm not a violent person and I do not like to advocate for child abuse, but sometimes I just wish I could strangle those girls," vented Shaun before he bit into his sandwich.</p>
<hr/><p>As soon as Shaun and Claire finished their lunch, they went straight back to working in the ER. For the majority of the morning and the afternoon, St. Bonaventure's ER was mostly calm until a middle-aged couple came sprinting frantically through the ER doors.</p><p>"Help! Help me! Help my daughter! She's bleeding!" The woman yelled. The man whom Shaun assumed to be her husband was carrying a limp and sickly-looking teenager in his arms; wrapped in a blanket. The girl was looking pale and clammy.</p><p>Without asking any questions or saying a single word, Shaun motioned the couple to lay their daughter down in the bed in bay three. "I got this one, Claire. Emily, Kylie, you two are with me. What is her name?"</p><p>"Willa. Willa Caldwell. She's 15-years-old," the man replied as he gently placed his daughter down on the bed.</p><p>"I'm Dr. Shaun Murphy. This is Dr. Newton, that is Dr. Torres, and that is Nurse Villanueva. Where is Willa bleeding from?" Shaun asked as Nurse Villanueva took Willa's temperature.</p><p>Before the parents answered Shaun's question, the mother pulled back the thick blanket to reveal a giant crimson spot encircling the inseam of Willa's pajama bottoms.</p><p>"Vaginal bleeding?" Emily guessed as they all continued to take Willa's vitals.</p><p>"Yes," the distraught mother answered. "She's had a fever for a few days and she's been having cramps and pain. I thought she was just on her period, but then she just got worse. She got up from her bed and passed out, and that was when I noticed a huge bloodstain on her bedsheets and her pants."</p><p>"That is way too much blood for that to be her menstrual cycle," commented Kylie as she, Shaun, and Emily hectically removed Willa's pants and had her changed into a hospital gown. Her parents were sitting at the head of the bed, comforting her.</p><p>"We'll need to do a blood test to see if she is pregnant," said Shaun. "We'll also need to do a pelvic exam and an abdominal ultrasound."</p><p>"Willa, are you sexually active? When was your last period?" Emily asked as she was about to conduct the pelvic exam.</p><p>"I...d-don't...know, m-my periods are irregular," Willa stammered weakly and apprehensively. "I never...had sex."</p><p>"Willa, have you ever shown any of the following symptoms for the past nine to ten months? Tender, swollen breasts? Nausea? Vomiting? Increased urination? Fatigue? Bloating? Constipation? Food aversions? Nasal congestion? How long have you been bleeding? I need you to answer honestly."</p><p>"What?" Mr. Caldwell was stunned. "She's a virgin! All she does is study, she doesn't even have many friends. She's been bullied for being overweight."</p><p>"We need to do a pregnancy test, Mr. Caldwell. We always give them to patients of childbearing age because it is crucial for us to know if they are pregnant. It's not that we don't trust her or you, we just need to be sure," explained Shaun. Nurse Villanueva then told Shaun that Willa's fever was high enough to be in the danger zone.</p><p>"What is wrong with our daughter?" Ms. Caldwell hysterically begged.</p><p>"I know she said she wasn't sexually active, but I'm concerned that Willa might be pregnant. It could probably be an incomplete miscarriage. If she's not pregnant, it might be dysfunctional uterine bleeding..."</p><p>"Um, Dr. Murphy, take a look at this," Emily looking concerned, interrupted her attending.</p><p>Shaun walked over to the foot of the bed and saw not only the pool of blood, but also some fragments that looked like pieces of placenta. There was also a bit of slight tearing to her nether regions. He started to think that Willa had possibly already given birth.</p><p>"Mr. and Ms. Caldwell, I just examined your daughter and it looks like she had given birth recently," admitted Emily nervously.</p><p>"What?" The couple shouted in unison at the exact same time Shaun prepped the ultrasound machine, thinking that Willa might have had a retained placenta.</p><p>The ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis and then Shaun explained to the parents that Willa needed immediate surgery to remove the placental remains. In addition, a police search party for an abandoned newborn - dead or alive - was put out.</p><p>The parents stood there in shock when their daughter was rushed into surgery. "She never told us anything," Ms. Caldwell sobbed.</p>
<hr/><p>The surgery to remove the remaining pieces of the placenta was a success. Unfortunately, the delayed treatment of the condition - depending on how long it had been since Willa gave birth - had left her with an infection in her uterus combined with uncontrollable bleeding that led to the need for hysterectomy.</p><p>The newborn was discovered being taken care of by a homeless woman who had found him two days prior; the umbilical cord already tied off and cut. He was estimated to be five weeks premature and was brought to St. Bonaventure, where he was doing well so far in the NICU. Willa's parents were offered to stay with their grandson, but they didn't want to.</p><p>Poor Willa. Shaun hoped that she wouldn't face any criminal charges for this since the baby was viable. Yes, he was also worried about the baby's whereabouts and his health, but that baby's mother was just a child and she had just gone through a traumatic experience. She definitely was going to have a lot of explaining to do when she wakes up.</p><p>Shaun couldn't bear to imagine Nell in this situation.</p><p>It wasn't long before Shaun found himself scrubbing out of the operating room to inform Willa's parents of the prognosis.</p><p>"Is Willa going to be okay?"</p><p>"We were able to remove the remains of the placenta. Willa only had a first-degree vaginal tear that is already healing with no signs of infection, so she didn't need any stitches for it. She is going to be fine. Her fever has gone down and we were able to stop the bleeding," began Shaun before bluntly sharing the bigger news of the prognosis, sadly avoiding eye contact with them. "Unfortunately, the damage was too severe, so we had to remove your daughter's uterus. I'm...sorry."</p><p>Part of Shaun hoped that Willa didn't really want children in the future, because then maybe it would be less devastating news for her. But she most likely wasn't sure yet, and he couldn't imagine how devasted Willa was going to be if she wanted children in the future.</p><p>Ms. Caldwell broke down crying into her husband's arms. "This is all my fault. I should have known. She gets bullied and teased so much for her weight. I didn't even notice it. In hindsight, I should have realized she was pregnant when she started wearing baggy clothes. I also should have suspected something when she was throwing up for a while. She just kept brushing it off as motion sickness. Now, she won't even have the chance to have children once she is ready!"</p><p>"It's not your fault, Tina," Mr. Caldwell soothed as he embraced his wife. "It wasn't our fault."</p><p>Shaun thought it would be appropriate to walk away from the parents and give them some privacy. From behind his back, he could hear Mr. Caldwell mutter something under his breath about wanting to hunt down whoever did this to her.</p>
<hr/><p>Although it was something nurses usually did, Shaun curiously checked in on Willa, who was still asleep, a few minutes later. Her mother was sitting by her bedside, running her fingers through her daughter's hair and holding her hand.</p><p>"How is she doing so far?" Shaun asked before feeling like he should her about her grandchild's condition. "And the baby is doing okay so far. Where is Mr. Caldwell?"</p><p>"The nurses said that her vitals are stable, also the police said that she won't be charged for any criminal offenses," replied Ms. Caldwell, continuing to stroke her daughter's hair. "Michael is in the cafeteria."</p><p>"That's a relief," said Shaun. Willa was lucky that this was the progressive state of California because Shaun imagined that if this was somewhere like Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, or Florida (states that care more about fetal rights than maternal rights), then she'd probably definitely be facing unnecessary and unfair criminal charges.</p><p>Ms. Caldwell then let her tears fall from her eyes and clamped her hand over her mouth. "She was probably afraid to tell us, too scared and ashamed, afraid of what we would say...but...we would be there for her no matter what. And if she wants to keep this baby, we'll definitely support her. She's been through too much. When her friends betrayed her and were trying to bully her into becoming bulimic, she told us. When she abused diet pills, she told us. But, she never told us anything about a boy. Or maybe, she could have been raped. I also should have suspected something when she started pushing everyone away; us, her real friends. She didn't even want to visit her grandparents anymore. Willa was a happy little girl, but then when she turned 10, things just got worse and worse for her when her close friends just became nothing but mean girls. I've had my own experience with mean girls when I was in high school, but..."</p><p>Shaun didn't know how to respond to that. He just stood there somberly, glaring at an unconscious Willa.</p><p>"Do you have kids?" Ms. Caldwell asked out of the blue. This wasn't the first time a patient had asked Shaun this question.</p><p>"I have a daughter," replied Shaun, clasping his hands together.</p><p>"How old is she?"</p><p>"She's eight, and she's also dealing with mean girls who tried to pit her and her friends against each other," shared Shaun before deciding to share the facts about his own personal life. "You brought Willa to the hospital just in time for us to save her life. If this continued to go untreated, she would have gone into septic shock and died. My girlfriend died six weeks after our daughter was born. It was late postpartum eclampsia. She'd still be alive if I came to the conclusion of postpartum preeclampsia a lot sooner."</p><p>"I'm sorry about that," sighed Ms. Caldwell. "Anyway, I hope something like this never happens to your daughter. And I hope things get better for her. Also, thank you for saving her life."</p><p>"You're welcome, and I hope so, too."</p>
<hr/><p>Before Shaun made his way to the bus stop, he decided to give Willa - who was completely awake and alert - a brief visit. When he walked into her room, she looked a lot better than she looked when she was admitted. Her son was in a bassinet next to the bed, totally healthy.</p><p>"Hey, Dr. Murphy," greeted the teenager.</p><p>"Where are your parents?" Shaun asked, taking notice of Mr. and Mrs. Caldwell's absences. When Willa woke up, she told them that while they were out of town, some guy on the football team asked her out on a date that ended with them sleeping together. He dumped her the next day. He apparently had a thing for sleeping with underclassmen girls and was probably going to be charged with statutory rape (and Willa was 14 when she had sex with him).</p><p>"They went home for a while. I wanted to be alone," Willa replied, her eyes a little watery.</p><p>"How are you doing?" Shaun consoled in a fatherly tone.</p><p>"I'm feeling better now physically. I've decided to keep the baby. I know I'm only 15, but I really did want to have children in the future and I didn't realize this would be my only chance. Yes, I could have adopted, but that's too expensive and comes with its own set of problems. My parents said they're going to help me," the girl said, not making eye contact with Shaun. "And yes, I know that parenthood is not like a freaking Huggies commercial. And I'm aware of the looks I'm going to get."</p><p>"I was a fourth-year resident when my daughter was born," shared Shaun, chortling a bit at Willa's sense of humor and trying to empathize with her. "My girlfriend and I were in our late twenties, but we weren't planning on it yet because we had only been dating for eight months and this was at the end of the COVID-19 social distancing thing. I'm also autistic and it's possible that my girlfriend had ADHD although we didn't consider it at the time, so a few people did talk to us like they probably would have if we were teenagers as some people have spoken to me in an infantilizing way. A patient actually once told me that it was selfish of me to have children. There are people out there who think people with disabilities are unfit to be parents and need to be sterilized."</p><p>"People who think that way are the ones who really need to be sterilized," Willa humored before asking curiously, "Are you still with your girlfriend?"</p><p>"She died six weeks after the birth," imparted Shaun.</p><p>"I'm sorry," sighed Willa before she continued talking. "It hurt a bit when I had sex, but I still felt so grown up after it happened. He said he wanted to date me, but then the next day, he said I was too fat for him and he never wanted to see me again. I became the school slut and my 'friends' then started rumors about me sleeping with the entire football team. One time, I had stained my pants with period blood and they took a picture and posted it online. And when I found out I was pregnant, I was in denial for so long that by the time I had the courage to seek an abortion, I realized that I was too far along and it was too late. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't tell my parents or let the whole school find out. I did a lot of research about childbirth so I could give birth secretly. I was in labor for a day, and then in the middle of the night, I went behind a dark alley to give birth. I was going to give him away, but when he was born he wasn't breathing. I tried to save him, but I then declared him dead. I just put my jacket over him. I almost killed him."</p><p>Willa continued to sob as she glanced at her son. Shaun couldn't help but feel a lot of empathy for her; the thought of being in labor at 15-years-old and alone in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night sounded awful. The thought of that being Nell was a lot worse.</p><p>"But he survived," reassured Shaun. "I know it's hard being a teenager, and your generation isn't the first generation of teens to have had to deal with cyberbullying...it was your parents' and I's generation. I've lived through those years and they were awful. I was bullied a lot and my brother was the only friend I had, but he died. My father was abusive and my mother did nothing to protect me. One time, the girl I liked almost tricked me into showing her my penis. I thankfully didn't, but that memory still hurts. Also, Lea - my daughter's mother - had a rival throughout high school who helped her boyfriend at the time cheat on her behind her back. Lea didn't find out until he showed up to prom with her. Lea also had to deal with a mean girl at home, her own mother."</p><p>Donnie has told Shaun about Lea's experience with mean girls and Lea has told him about her experiences as well, especially about this Amanda Kelly person who her ex-boyfriend dumped her for. They were on the volleyball and cheerleading teams and were in student council together, so Lea had to deal with her a lot.</p><p>
  <em>"It wasn't just stealing my man. She liked to fart in my face on purpose whenever my face was near her ass when we made cheer pyramids," shared Lea. "And every time, she would yell, 'That was Lea!'"</em>
</p><p>Shaun then sat himself down on the bed next to Willa and told her a similar thing he told Nell a couple of days ago.</p><p>"There will be mean girls and bullies everywhere you go, and if your friends start acting like mean girls, then you should find another group of friends. Whatever bullies tell you are wrong, so ignore them and remind yourself that you are better than them. It's important to have someone you trust, and I'm glad you trust your parents. I know your parents probably could have already told you this, but you should hear it from more people than just them. It's good for your self-esteem. Also, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself...but don't fight back. You are strong and smart, and you should also tell your son that."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was difficult for me to write because I was kind of reminded of my own experience with mean girls in school. Also, if I knew that social distancing was going to last longer than I expected when I wrote the prequel, I would have made the events of that story to be set a year later, so just go with it and enjoy some escapism. Again, please review :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nell hosts her first sleepover with her friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’ve had a hard month right now. I received a text from my mom telling me she was getting a COVID-19 test, and yesterday, she called to tell me that she has cancer. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed "I Knew You Could Do It". Now, here is the 15th chapter of this work in progress. I hope you enjoy it, and please review. And in case you forgot, Poppy is Shaun’s cat.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Would you like to come have a drink with me tonight if you're free?" Claire offered Shaun and Dr. Park as they had lunch together in the hospital cafeteria. "Dash is out of town and Aria is sleeping over at a friend's house, so I'll have plenty of time to myself."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No can do," turned down Dr. Park. "Mia and I are helping Kellan move into his new apartment."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have 36 hours off after my shift, but I can't join you either," declined Shaun politely. "Nell is hosting her first sleepover and I need to help out."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll have a drink with you, Claire. I'm free all night long," insisted Morgan, sitting down next to Claire once she approached the table. She then glared at Shaun with a look of pity. "Anyway, poor Shaun! I'll pray for you!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why?" Claire inquired, giving Morgan a mix between the stink-eye and a look of pure confusion. "He's not going off to war or something."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, why?" Shaun chimed in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Duh, you're spending the day and a half you have off with a bunch of 8/9-year-olds," tittered Morgan haughtily. "Doesn't that sound nightmarish? I mean, yes, it might to me because I'm childfree by choice, but that sounds nightmarish even for parents."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You actually do have a point there, Morgan," concurred Dr. Park. "Besides financial reasons, chaos has to be another reason why most people only plan to have one or two children."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have to agree with you," Claire added. "Being responsible for 30-90 kids at once is one reason why I never wanted to be a teacher or a daycare worker. Chaos is one reason why Dash and I decided to stop after one child. It's much easier to have all our attention placed on one child."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shaun also agreed with Morgan as well as Claire and Dr. Park. Many schools insisted that if a child is having a party (even outside of school hours and off of school grounds), then the whole class must be invited so that no child feels left out. That sounds good in theory, but it's terrible in practice because the idea of having 15-30 children at once in his apartment sounded like torture, even to Lea; she could handle her own child with a lot of confidence, but she probably wouldn't feel confident with other people's kids. Fortunately, Nell only invited four people she trusted (all of them close friends), and that was fine and enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Only five of them including Nell, which isn't too bad. I think I should also make that the limit," he retorted. "They're also all her close friends and I trust them and their parents."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay, then...well...not-so-poor Shaun then," sighed Morgan. "That actually sounds less chaotic. But I'm still wishing you good luck anyway.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With only five children in the apartment - Nell, Ava, Ophelia, Mabel, and a girl named Winter Nordstrom - the atmosphere wasn't too overwhelming for Shaun. Nell wanted to have a sleepover with her friends at her own place, so he helped Nell pick a Friday night and Saturday morning and afternoon where he didn't have to work because although he wasn't going to be interacting with them very much, the girls still needed an adult to be present in case they ever needed anything.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nell has been invited to classmates' birthday parties, but she has refused to go to most of them (because she wasn't close with them or she just didn't like them), and Shaun totally supported that...and even if she did go, she would have just mostly played with Ava, Ophelia, Mabel, and Winter (that is if they were also invited). The only challenge was coming up with an excuse, and instead of being brutally honest and saying Nell doesn't want to go (Dr. Glassman and Alex told him that probably wasn't the best idea), he just lied and said the basic "we won't be able to".</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And speaking of excuses, Shaun himself has actually been guilty of using his kid to get out of doing things a couple of times. He's used his kid as a reason to not go to a hang-out or party he didn't want to go to. Other than learning that Claire, Carly, Dr. Lim, Dr. Andrews, Dr. Park, his friend Imelda, as well as a couple of Nell's friends' parents have admitted to being guilty of this as well; to be fair, Lea using her high-risk pregnancy to be excused from jury duty (although legitimate) was an agent.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anyway, Shaun's basic rule of parties was that if they didn't play together and have a tangible friendship in place, then they would kindly pass on attending and/or inviting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And a five-kid sleepover was actually a better idea not just for Nell, but also for her friends because he had read Mr. Flores' email notifying him about Ophelia's nocturnal enuresis - and Shaun didn't think Ophelia needed any mean girls like Scarlet, Paisley, Lola, and the new girl Jessalyn (who had joined the mean girl friend group) to be making fun of her for her enuresis alarm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And so far, Shaun didn’t think this wasn’t so bad and everything was going super well. While he sat on the couch reading his medical journals, the five girls did a plethora of fun things while munching on their snacks and homemade pizza and drinking their drinks. They played with Nell’s toys, played board games, played with Poppy, and sang karaoke.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dad, we’re going to watch a movie now,” Nell forewarned, telling him that they needed the couch and the TV. “We’re moving our sleeping bags to the living room.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, that’s fine,” said Shaun, getting up from his spot on the couch and grabbing his medical journal with him before noticing that it was almost 10:00 pm. “I’ll be in my room, so you’ll know where to find me if you need me for any reason. And you all remember how to pop popcorn and use a microwave, right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” acknowledged Nell, rolling her eyes a little bit. “And yes, we all know how to use a microwave and make popcorn.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And remember the rules. Don’t answer the door; come and get me if someone knocks. No messing with things or breaking things. No leaving the apartment,” Shaun went over.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes,” said the girls in unison.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even after making sure the girls understood the rules, Shaun then decided to mess with them a little bit and be a little humorous; something Lea probably would have done. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And also, here are the rest of the ground rules. No inviting boys over or any extra guests. No epic house parties. No tearing the pillows apart from epic pillow fights. No going through phone books and making prank calls. No snorting cinnamon or eating tide pods or any weird internet challenges. No doing drugs or alcohol. No driving my car and crashing it. No ouija boards or summoning spirits or switching bodies. No filling up the apartment with soap bubbles. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind. No setting things on fire and burning down the apartment. Understand?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Dad! We understand,” Nell laughed, aware that her dad was only joking. “We don’t even have a phone book or a car!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t even know what a phone book is,” said Winter. “Or an ouija board.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” said Shaun. “I was just messing with you all. I know none of you would ever do any of that stuff. I’ll go to my room now, good night.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night, Dad!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night, Dr. Murphy!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shaun closed the door behind him and plopped himself on the bed next to a sleeping Poppy.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>A few minutes after Shaun left Nell and her friends alone in the living room, he walked out of his room and towards the kitchen to grab a bag of chips and a glass of wine.</p><p>The other four girls were sitting on the couch staring at a TV screen displaying nothing but streaming options while Nell was in the kitchen popping another bag of popcorn. Shaun noticed that this was probably the fifth bag she was popping.</p><p>"Is this the fifth bag you're popping?" He asked, whispering as he pulled a bag of barbecue chips from the pantry cabinet and poured himself a glass of wine.</p><p>"Yes, I want to have enough popcorn for everyone that can last through the whole movie," replied Nell, already starting to look and sound a little bit like Lea in Shaun's opinion. With her brown hair up in a messy half ponytail, she almost looked similar to how Lea looked when she and Shaun first met.</p><p>"So, what movie did you all decide to watch?" He asked, still whispering.</p><p>"We wanted to watch a movie we all like, and we all decided to watch <em>Coco</em>," concluded Nell.</p><p>"I think that's a good choice," said Shaun. "It's the first movie your mom and I watched together as roommates. It's also the first movie we ever saw together. The movie made your mom cry."</p><p>Back when he and Lea finished moving in together in late 2018 and finished unpacking and rearranging things, they decided to watch a movie together, and that was going to be whatever was on Netflix and with everything that had been going on in their lives at the time, they desperately wanted to watch an old movie from their childhood to forget about their adult lives. However, Lea kind of wanted to watch something a bit more recent and contemporary...so they went with <em>Coco </em>after reading reviews saying that it was good. By the end of the movie, Lea was in tears while Shaun was feeling so much affective empathy for the character Héctor.</p><p>"I know, you told me that," said Nell as the microwave timer beeped and then she pulled the bag out of the microwave before pouring it into a bowl.</p><p>"It was also the last movie we watched together before you were born...right before your mom's water broke."</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Two weeks overdue, Lea was scheduled to be induced in the late afternoon tomorrow. Dr. Lim and Dr. Andrews let Shaun off of his shift early at 3:00 pm so he and Lea could spend some pre-baby time alone together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was 6:30 in the evening and so far they had eaten dinner, took a walk, took short naps, practiced their breathing exercises, made sure their things were packed and ready, and did some last-minute attempts at inducing labor. Now, they just wanted to relax on the couch and watch TV or a movie, so that is what they decided to do.</em>
</p><p><em>"So, what should we watch? Do you want to finish the recent season of '</em> <em>Big Mouth'?" Shaun proposed, the remote in his hand and sitting on the couch behind Lea while she reclined into him; her back resting against his chest and the back of her head reading against his neck and collarbone. It almost mimicked the birthing position of her choice.</em></p><p>
  <em>"Not really, I'm not in the mood to watch a bunch of horny middle schoolers right now," confirmed Lea, sighing. "And you know I can't stand to watch 'The Walking Dead' anymore."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Figuring out what to watch was kind of a tough question for them as there were certain things they couldn't stand to watch as expectant parents as they would be too frightening or upsetting. Watching any of the following kinds of movies were a big no-no for them: any pregnancy horror movie like 'Rosemary's Baby', anything with a scene of giving birth to some kind of monster like the 'Alien' movies, horror movies that involved creepy demon children like 'The Omen' or a child dying like 'Pet Sematary', horror movies in general like 'The Woman in Black', any movie with a scene of someone crying out for their parent like 'Saving Private Ryan', and pretty much anything involving the death of a child or a parent losing their child, maternal death, a miscarriage or stillbirth, a child being kidnapped or murdered, or the brutal slaughtering of a pregnant woman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They ironically binged every episode of 'Call the Midwife', which probably wasn't the best idea although they did enjoy it. However, Shaun and Lea watching 'Grave of the Fireflies' while she was seven months pregnant was definitely a huge mistake (neither of them could sleep that night). Last month, they tried to watch 'In the Tall Grass', but as soon as they saw that a pregnant woman was in it, they immediately decided to stop watching it. They really didn't want to stick around to see what would happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you want to watch 'Coco'? Something we know and love and a movie that we know has a happy ending?" Lea suggested, looking up at Shaun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I would love to."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>"Okay," Nell wrinkled her nose in confusion as she grabbed the bowl of popcorn.</p><p>"I'll go back to my room now," said Shaun, grabbing his bag of chips and glass of wine. "Enjoy the movie and come get me if you need me."</p><p>"Alright, good night, Dad. I love you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Soulmates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For the first time in forever, Shaun wonders if he should start dating again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In case you forgot, Virginia is Lea's mother. Hope you enjoy and please review :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a hot summer day on the fourth of July and not only had Nell been nine-years-old for more than a month, but she also had completed third grade and was going to start fourth grade in a month.</p><p>Meanwhile, for Shaun, it was med student season at St. Bonaventure, and there were some incidents of barbeque and firework mishaps as well as injuries from performing extremely foolish stunts.</p><p>Right now, Shaun was treating a woman - 67-year-old Sharon Coviello - who slipped on her daughter's newly mopped floor; he was accompanied by a couple of young med students.</p><p>Sophia Hassan and Grayson Cohen, the med students, were cool, but Sharon was getting on Shaun's nerves. Her daughter was with her and she kept blabbing on and on about her love life.</p><p>"Rachel, you need to settle down already and find a stable man. Milo and Arlo need a father," Sharon lambasted her daughter condescendingly.</p><p>"They have a father, we're just not together anymore and it's shared custody. We ended on good terms, Mom," Rachel sighed in annoyance. "Kevin is their father and he is involved in their lives very well. I don't need to find a replacement."</p><p>"I mean, the boys need a stable two-parent family," contradicted Sharon. "I mean, look at you! You and Scott divorced, and then two weeks later you find out you're pregnant with Milo. You should have at least contacted him."</p><p>"He didn't want kids!"</p><p>"And then you meet Kevin and then you have Arlo, and then you get divorced! Again."</p><p>"Mom! Ugh! I'm not getting married ever again. It's why my last name has been changed back to Coviello."</p><p>Sharon turned to Shaun and the med students and asked them about their personal lives. "Are you two married with kids?"</p><p>"No, but I am engaged, though," replied Sophia. "The wedding is next month."</p><p>"I'm in a committed relationship," added Grayson.</p><p>"What about Dr. Murphy? You look young, how old are you? 32?" Sharon pondered Shaun, who honestly wasn't really surprised by this question.</p><p>As someone with a baby face, he has often been mistaken to be younger than he really was. Throughout his residency, he'd been told that he looked pretty young to be a doctor or called "Doogie". When Nell was a baby or toddler and he would be out in public with her, some people thought he was a teen father or the "manny". He's lost count of how many times he'd been mistaken for a child. But now since he was almost 40, people guessed him to be in his early 30s or late 20s and he wasn't called "Doogie" anymore or been told he looked super young for a doctor that much anymore.</p><p>"I'm 38," answered Shaun shyly. "And I have a nine-year-old. Her mom died shortly after she was born."</p><p>"See, Rachel? They're all younger than you and they're already in committed relationships. Dr. Murphy is married with kids. His wife is dead, but at least he has a kid. You're 40 and you're twice divorced!"</p><p>"Dr. Murphy and I are the same generation and we're only two years apart...and I have two kids," retaliated Rachel angrily. "I'm proud of that accomplishment. I'm also proud of my career."</p><p>"For the record, Lea and I were never married, and we only had one child. I've been a single dad for nine years," added and corrected Shaun, not liking what Sharon was saying about her daughter. He felt like he was listening to Virginia's criticisms of Lea. On an unrelated note, Donnie called to tell him that Virginia had a stroke and died...not that they cared. "We were cohabitating when we had our daughter."</p><p>"Well, you and Dr. Murphy are the same age and you're both single parents. You're divorced and he's a...um...widower. He has a daughter and you have two sons..."</p><p>"Mom, no, please don't..." Rachel protested, planting her palm over her face in frustration and shaking her head. Shaun was starting to figure out what Sharon was implying.</p><p>"You two should go out on a date!"</p><p>"No, thank you!" Shaun objected as he continued to examine Sharon's injuries. This was definitely how Lea felt when he was pestering her about becoming roommates and going out on a date with him (although she did love him romantically). It's no wonder she snapped at him. She felt cornered and he was pushing her into something she wasn't ready for. It was one thing he regretted and was thankful they made up and he apologized for it, learning his lesson to start letting things go.</p><p>"It's a perfect match! Rachel, don't you want a daughter to make tu-tus for and put bows in her hair? And I'm sure Dr. Murphy always wanted a son to play ball with, hunt, and fish with," insisted Sharon. "If you two got married, then you'd both feel complete. Also, Dr. Murphy, your daughter needs a sibling."</p><p>"That's sexist," Shaun rolled his eyes, not enjoying the fact that he was being micromanaged by a patient. "And Nell doesn't even like to wear bows in her hair. Lea wasn't really a fan of those giant baby bows or baby tiaras, and neither am I. Most babies don't even like wearing them on their heads. Also, I sometimes play ball with Nell. And I don't even like hunting or fishing anyway."</p><p>"And I made a ton of no-sew tu-tus for Arlo. You know Kevin is a dance instructor, right? And Milo actually likes wearing bows in his hair. It's why he wants to grow it out long," added Rachel.</p><p>"You should still go out on a date. I mean, really. You need to forget about your exes and settle down already..."</p><p>"I have settled down!"</p><p>"...And Dr. Murphy needs to move on from his dead wife and find a mother for his daughter. Someone needs to talk to her about periods."</p><p>"I already told her about them in case she gets hers early," said Shaun, irritated that Sharon said that it was only the mother's responsibility to educate daughters on how their bodies work. "Or <em>if</em> she ever gets hers in case she was born without a uterus." He didn't want her to freak out when it would happen for the first time like Carrie White. Also, Shaun believed every father needed to understand periods and not be uncomfortable talking about them, and it was really important when their kid had a uterus and a vagina. Same with mothers needing to understand how male bodies work.</p><p>"So, it's a date!" Sharon yelled excitedly. "Also, he's a doctor, which is good because he obviously makes more money than Kevin."</p><p>"Okay, fine! One date!" Rachel sighed, surrendering to her mother. She was probably only agreeing to this to shut her mother up.</p><p>"Maybe you should at least try, Dr. Murphy," whispered Sophia. "Have you gone out on a date since your girlfriend died?"</p><p>"No," answered Shaun.</p><p>"Maybe you should just try one date," Sophia encouraged.</p><p>"Okay, it's a date," agreed Shaun, not really wanting to do this.</p><hr/><p>Dr. Glassman and Debbie watched Shaun as he got ready for his date in his room. Nell was in the living room watching TV. </p><p>Shaun and Rachel's date was going to be the exact same place he had his first date with Carly, and he and Rachel agreed to it because Sharon wanted them to go somewhere fancy...and she already made dinner reservations for them, and she was going to be checking the bill to make sure it was a three-course meal.</p><p><em> Well, that's just great! </em>  Shaun thought, sighing in annoyance as he straightened his tie.  <em> I'll just have a salad. </em></p><p>Shaun asked Claire, who was also forced to go on a romantic dinner date with someone (whom she ended up marrying anyway), for advice on what to do, and she told him to just sit at the table with her and think of things to talk about. She said to try and engage in conversation until they finished their meals.</p><p>It's been a decade since Shaun went out on a date, and he wasn't a fan of dating because not only did it feel stressful for him as an autistic person, it also felt like a chore as a single parent with a demanding job. In fact, two years ago he turned down a date from Dr. Natasha Singh, one of the anesthesiologists at St. Bonaventure who also happened to be the person who administered Lea's failed epidural. Last year, he did develop a crush on Nell's third grade teacher, but he already knew that he and Ms. Diaz (or Samantha, as her friends would have called her) were never going to happen for three reasons. First, she was already married. Second, she was married to a woman, and unless she was bi or pan or something, she was probably a lesbian and attracted to other women. Third, and most of all, dating his kid's teacher was too damn weird and Nell probably wouldn't like that.</p><p>"So, this must be exciting," said Dr. Glassman. "Finally getting back in the dating game. I mean, no pressure."</p><p>"I'm only doing this because my patient forced me and Rachel to do it," groaned Shaun.</p><p>"Well, did Rachel seem like a nice woman?" Dr. Glassman asked curiously.</p><p>"Yes. She has two boys, but I don't want to become her third divorce. Also, I don't want her mother for a mother-in-law. She'll probably force Nell to wear giant hair bows that are too big for her head," said Shaun, folding his arms.</p><p>"You never know, you both might end up liking each other. You didn't think it would work with Carly, and look at where it got you," chirped Debbie.</p><p>"We broke up," reminded Shaun bluntly.</p><p>"True," sighed Debbie, tilting her head up towards the ceiling. "But...what about you and Lea? She didn't think you and her would work as a couple and she didn't think it would last, but it did."</p><p>"And that's because we worked hard to fix our friendship and work on our issues," retorted Shaun. "And we only lasted 18 months."</p><p>"Because she died, Shaun," Dr. Glassman retorted back. "And weren't you the longest relationship she's ever been in? And seven months later, you already got her knocked up."</p><p>"That was unintentional," countered Shaun.</p><p>"True, but you were even going to ask her to marry you. And you were best friends for a couple of years before that," reminisced Dr. Glassman.</p><p>"We don't know what would have happened, though," Shaun retorted again.</p><p>"That's true," said Debbie. "But I think you still would have lived a long and happy life together."</p><p>"Remember that I told you that dating is worth it and how you shouldn't give up on love? Also, weren't you the one who fixed me up with Debbie?"</p><p>"Yes, and I haven't given up on love. I won't be alone. I have Nell," reminded Shaun. "I even texted Lea's brother about it and he says it would probably be good for me. But, this date isn't going to work."</p><p>"Shaun, Lea would want you to be happy. If you're worried about forgetting Lea or Nell forgetting her mother..." began Dr. Glassman.</p><p>"I'm not afraid that I'll forget Lea or that Nell will forget about her," interrupted Shaun.</p><p>"Just...let's see how it works with Rachel," said Debbie. "You might want a second date, and you might not...even if this was like an arranged date by a judgmental patient. It's not like we're trying to pressure you into finding a replacement for Lea."</p><p>"Okay, fine. I'll stay open-minded and try to enjoy this," groaned Shaun, walking out into the living room, bidding goodbye to Nell and telling her to be good for Glassy and Debbie, and then walking out the door.</p><p>
  <em> "Your goal isn't Lea, it's love," Vera told him. </em>
</p><p>Maybe they were right. Shaun could at least give it a try. Maybe since he lost Lea, maybe he was losing the better person he became because of her. He needs to start stepping out of his comfort zone more.</p><hr/><p>Shaun and Rachel sat at a table in the fancy restaurant, reminding him of his first date with Carly. They were drinking glasses of water and eating appetizers of fried pickles...well, Rachel was. Shaun said she could have all of them.</p><p>Only this time, Shaun didn't feel any stress or pressure to mask because he wasn't interested in Rachel at all.</p><p>"So, my first husband Scott got me pregnant with Milo. We were still pretty young and he never wanted kids, so he abandoned me, which is fine. I then married Kevin and we had Arlo. Things didn't work with Kevin, but we're still good friends," Rachel explained her relationship and family life.</p><p>Shaun decided to just tell a random joke like he did on his first date with Carly. This time, it was out of boredom. "Do you want to hear a joke?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Why should we never eat a PB and J?"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because there is lead in it," answered Shaun.</p><p>Rachel didn't respond at all. Instead, she was looking confused. "Um, I don't get it."</p><p>"On the periodic table of elements, Pb is the letter for lead," explained Shaun.</p><p>"Oh, that makes sense now," Rachel managed to giggle a little bit. "I didn't major in chemistry. I majored in kinesiology."</p><p>"How old are Milo and Arlo?" Shaun asked, changing the subject.</p><p>"Milo is 14 and Arlo is 11," replied Rachel. "And Eleanor...Nell...is nine?"</p><p>"Yes," concurred Shaun, feeling no need to impress Rachel right now since he wasn't interested. "What do you do for a living?"</p><p>"I'm a physical therapist, but you'll never guess what Scott does for a living according to his Facebook page?"</p><p>"What does he do?"</p><p>"He sells weed to dogs."</p><p>Shaun snickered hard at that career choice.</p><p>"So, what is your life story, Shaun?"</p><p>"I'm autistic, it's a huge part of identity, but maybe if that's a deal-breaker for your mom, you can tell her that so she'll leave you alone about this afterwards. My father was abusive and he killed Buttercup, my rabbit. My brother Steve and I, we ran away. He died when we were playing on a train in an old building and he fell and hit his head and snapped his neck. Dr. Glassman, my mentor and the former president of St. Bonaventure, has watched out for me ever since," told Shaun.</p><p>"That's awful," sighed Rachel. "Anyway, are you just wanting the main course to come so we can get out of here?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Right on cue, the waiter arrived with their food. Rachel had ordered a steak and Shaun had ordered a salad. They ate their food quickly without talking to each other and then decided to order their deserts. That was when they went back to talking to each other.</p><p>"Look, you seem like a great guy, but I don't want a second date with you," sighed Rachel. "It's not because your autistic, it's because I just didn't want to go on this stupid date in the first place."</p><p>"Neither did I. I thought we already discussed this."</p><p>"To be honest, after my divorce, I just don't think committing to long term relationships are for me. It's starting to feel like a chore now and I'm actually happy being a single mom to my two boys," Rachel explained before whispering to Shaun. "Also, they still have a lousy aim while peeing, and I have accidentally sat on the toilet seat with their pee all over it."</p><p>"And I don't want to be responsible for two extra kids," added Shaun. "I'm happy with it just being me and my daughter. She already makes me feel complete."</p><p>"And I don't want to be responsible for a third child."</p><p>When they finally got their desserts and devoured them, they left the restaurant and then went back home, not giving each other any kiss, meaning they were never going to see each other again, which was completely fine.</p><hr/><p>"So, how was your date last night?" Claire asked Shaun the next day at lunch; Dr. Park was sitting with them.</p><p>"Rachel seems like a good person, but neither of us are really interested in each other. We didn't even want to go on a date in the first place. So, there will be no second date," answered Shaun.</p><p>"I think that's fair," accorded Dr. Park. "Nobody really likes being told what to do."</p><p>"I don't really want to date anymore," admitted Shaun. "I worked so hard to make things work with Lea and Carly, and I already have Nell. I think I'm good."</p><p>"If you don't want to date, you don't have to," Morgan sat down with them to join them in their conversation. "I don't know why your patient was trying to force you and her daughter into creating a nuclear family."</p><p>"If it makes you feel any better Shaun, I'm actually happily single right now," shared Dr. Park. "Mia and I are better off as friends and co-parents, and after my divorce and a few failed dates, I started to realize that dating isn't really my thing. I also feel complete with Kellan in my life."</p><p>It wasn't long before Dr. Lim and Dr. Andrews decided to sit with him and listen to everything about Shaun's date.</p><p>"It was boring and neither of us were interested," he told his former attendings. However, he did wonder if he should think about dating again even though he wasn't interested at this point. "Claire, Dr. Andrews, would you remarry or date again if you lost your spouse?"</p><p>"I don't think I would because I'm not sure if I'd ever find someone else as special as Isabel because she is my soulmate," replied Dr. Andrews. "But...we never know. I would be open to it if I was interested, though. Although, I might not since I would still have our daughter."</p><p>"And you know that I'm married to a widower," mentioned Claire. "As for Dash, he did remarry when he lost his wife, who was also my friend. However, I can't imagine Dash going through that again if it was me who went first. If it was him who died first, I'd be willing to find love again if I was up to it, or I might not. I became Dash's new soulmate and I never thought he would be mine. I like having him as a husband and a parenting partner."</p><p>"Are soulmates a thing or is it just a construct enforced by society?" Shaun wondered. "Remember John Muntz? 92-years-old, osteomyelitis. He was a Korean War veteran."</p><p>"Yeah, I remember him," said Claire. Dr. Andrews nodded in agreement. John Muntz was the first patient Shaun treated after coming back from paternity leave.</p><p>"He became an alcoholic for a while after he lost his wife and daughter to eclampsia, the exact complication Lea died from. He told me that he could have found love again and started a family with someone else if he didn't spend so many years wallowing in grief and pity. He said that Lulu was his soulmate," remembered Shaun.</p><p>"Maybe it's both?" Dr. Andrews suggested about the concept of soulmates. "I mean, we could all tell that Lea was your soulmate and that you were hers."</p><p>"I think to John, Lulu and...Helen...I think is what he was going to name their baby...I think Lulu and Helen were his everything, and losing both of them is what led him to a downward spiral," guessed Claire. "Maybe Nell is what kept you from entering complete self-destruction after Lea died? Because you still had her. She and Lea were your everything, and you still have part of your everything."</p><p>Dr. Lim then decided to give her own advice. Since she was also a single parent like Shaun, she thought he needed her insight the most. She had been on a few dates before after adopting Ruby, but they didn't work out.</p><p>"Here is my take as someone who is also a single parent. I'd say that I have it all, a good career and a loving family," Dr. Lim chimed in. "But some people think that means nuclear family. I don't have a husband, though, which doesn't bother me. I've always known for sure that kids were something I wanted. I just never had that same feeling about marriage. In hindsight, I think I just saw marriage as a needed prerequisite. I genuinely feel like I could take it or leave it and I'll be fine either way. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay a single parent."</p><hr/><p>"What was Arthur the aardvark's baby sister's name?" Pat asked Shaun and Carly from the dining room table as he was working on a crossword puzzle.</p><p>Shaun and Carly were sitting in the living room of her and Pat's apartment while Nell and Henry were playing together in his room.</p><p>"D.W.," Carly and Shaun answered in unison.</p><p>"No, it's a four-letter word," said Pat.</p><p>"You know what, I don't know," sighed Carly. "Look it up."</p><p>"Oh, his <em> baby </em> sister. I think it was Kate," Shaun answered before Pat looked up anything.</p><p>"Oh, right," chuckled Carly. "I forgot Arthur had another sister that wasn't D.W."</p><p>"Thanks, Shaun."</p><p>"No problem, Pat. Anyway, Rachel's mom said I should forget about Lea and move on. Do you think it's time for me to move on and find someone else?" He asked Carly. He had taken his co-attendings and former attendings advice very well, but he also wanted Carly's advice.</p><p>"You shouldn't forget Lea, Shaun," reminded Carly. "And also, my mom told me that moving on and remarriage doesn't really equal forgetting. Pat and Henry already know this, but you don't. My dad is actually my mom's second husband. My mom's first husband, Roger, was diagnosed with leukemia a month after their wedding. He died two months after their first anniversary. My mom does love my dad very much and me and Andie, but she will never forget Roger and she said she'll always have a special place in her heart for him as it is sad that he never got the opportunity to have children. She does still talk about him."</p><p>Carly was right, moving on didn't mean forgetting. He was able to move on after losing Steve and his rabbit, but he never forgot them. Same with Lea. "I know that, but us it bad that I don't want to date? Is it healthy for me to never date again after losing Lea?"</p><p>He wasn't entirely opposed to finding a new soulmate, but Shaun already felt complete with his daughter and his career. He didn't have any desire to search for a significant other and there currently wasn't anyone he was interested in.</p><p>"I don't think moving on shouldn't have to technically mean remarriage or new girlfriend," Pat interjected. "I think it should just mean accepting that she's dead. That's it."</p><p>"I agree," added Carly. "I think you've already moved on, Shaun. You sold most of her clothes..."</p><p>"I still kept some of them," Shaun brought to mind. "And I stopped putting her toothbrush in the bathroom cup. I just put all of her stuff in a memory keepsake box."</p><p>"Yes, but that doesn't mean you didn't move on. And you lent me Lea's maternity clothes when I was pregnant, which I did appreciate," recalled Carly.</p><p>"I didn't know what to do with them," said Shaun.</p><p>"I know," Carly smiled. "And to get back to the point, of course Lea would want you to be happy and not waste your life pitying her. But not every widow or widower should remarry if they don't want to, even though Lea was your...fiancée...I guess."</p><p>Carly was right. It's not the Shaun doesn't want to move on from Lea, he kind of already has. He didn't need a Lea replacement because he felt like Nell already filled that void.</p><p>His living, breathing loved ones always came first and mattered most than trying to find replacements for his lost love ones.</p><p>"Dating feels like a chore as a single parent, and Dr. Lim agrees with me," said Shaun. "I don't have a problem with getting a girlfriend, I just don't want to. And I'm fine with avoiding the stress of dating. Trying to make things work with you and even Lea was enough for me. I'm completely happy! I will never forget Lea, and I already have people to talk to. I'm fine. I've had my happily ever after."</p><p>"You do you, Shaun. If you don't want to date, that's fine," advised Carly.</p><p>"Would you remarry if you lost Pat?" Shaun asked out of curiosity.</p><p>"If I wanted to, yes," replied Carly, shrugging. "But right now, not so much. I would if I was into dating again, and you don't seem to be into dating right now, so don't worry about it. Nell will be fine, and she has plenty of mother-like figures in her life right now."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Shaun might want to date again someday, but he was just not in the mood right now. He was too focused on his daughter.</p><p>Lea made him more, and he did become more without Lea and he didn't lose the person he was after losing Lea. Nell made him more. He had love, just not romantic love.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shaun gives Nell "the talk".</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's been a long time since I updated, I had another episode of stress and anxiety due to reading the news too much and also about California and Oregon's wildfires although I don't live in any of those two states. This chapter does contain some M-rated sexually explicit material, especially as it does begin with a flashback to Nell's conception. And yes, in this story, the social distancing thing ended in August and that is also when a vaccine came because I didn't think everything through when I wrote the prequel months ago (especially now that time has now caught up with part of my prequel). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>It was the end of August, and with all of the stress and chaos of everything happening in the world and at St. Bonaventure and also from keeping up with all the current events, Shaun and Lea climbed straight into bed as soon as they got home from the hospital.</em>
</p><p><em>As California experienced a spike in cases, the coronavirus has been a nightmare, especially on Shaun's part. Other than treating patients with COVID-19, he and his colleagues had to deal with the nuisance of </em> <em>arguing with difficult people who refused to enter the building without a mask or people who refused to wear them properly. </em> <em>Since Shaun and Lea both worked in a high-risk setting, they (as well as the rest of St. Bonaventure's staff) needed to receive at least one COVID-19 test for the past few months. Nobody at St. Bonaventure died from the virus, but two dozens of the staff, including Dr. Glassman, were tested positive for it. His case was mild, though. For the rest of the staff that never tested positive, even one symptom similar to the virus would make them panic. For Dr. Park, one asthmatic cough from Kellan would set him into panic mode...and that was at home. And when Shaun started feeling under the weather back in early May, he immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had the virus, but it turned out that it was just his seasonal allergies kicking in.</em></p><p>
  <em>A vaccine was thankfully almost ready and the number of cases were declining, but there were still a few cases occurring and it wasn't safe just yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As of now, it was 1:00 am and lying in bed wasn't enough to put them to sleep as they were still wide awake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm bored," Shaun blurted out of the blue, staring at the ceiling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What should we do then?" Lea asked, her arms folded over the comforter. "Even with businesses reopened and a vaccine almost ready, I'm still not comfortable going out since some assholes till refuse to cover their face. We could play Team Sonic Racing."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My brain doesn't feel energized to play the level we're stuck on right now," said Shaun. "I actually just want to have sex."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sure, I would love to get a bedtime middle of the night quickie in," Lea already agreed to it, tossing the comforter towards the end of the bed and then removing her kimono robe. She and Shaun wrapped their arms around each other and started kissing passionately, their tongues mingling together.</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Sitting up in the middle of their bed, Shaun and Lea began their love-making session. His hand traveled up and under Lea's black tank top, massaging her breasts as she pushed her hands up Shaun's white undershirt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He delivered light kisses along the contour of the lower edge of Lea's mandible, slowly lifting her tank up and off before tracing pressing kisses down her torso - all the way down to the region where her uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries were located.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun giggled as Lea slipped off his undershirt and pulled off his pajama bottoms, neatly folding them and depositing them off to the side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He cupped her right breast with one hand before running his thumb across her nipple, which hardened at his touch. He then caressed her other breast.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea noticed the tent in his boxers, and then looked him in the eyes. He grinned at her, his expression telling her to touch him. She reached her hand down into his underwear, curling her hand around his erection.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun moaned into her mouth as she stroked his shaft and scrotum.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once she slid off his underwear for him, Shaun removed her pajama bottoms and set them aside in their folded pile of clothes. She then lay herself back into the pillows, parting her legs for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shaun traced patterns around Lea's inner thigh before moving his fingers against and under the fabric of her panties, stroking her labia minora and clitoris; a shiver running down her spine as she moaned in delight. It wasn't long before Shaun got rid of them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All of their clothes were put in a pile, and both of them were now completely nude in the missionary position; Shaun on top of Lea.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After a couple minutes of foreplay, Shaun carefully entered his condom-covered shaft into Lea's vagina until he was finally inside her. He thrusted himself into her (having to stop and withdraw for a while and put on a new condom because he felt it break) until he finally came inside her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once exhaustion kicked in, they snuggled up together in each other's arms and fell asleep. With Lea very strict about her birth control, they didn't worry that much about Shaun's swimmers since he also acted fast.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Little did they know, they were going to be in for a huge surprise later on.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Love wasn't the only thing Shaun and Lea made that night, because their daughter was born nine months later (it was most likely because of the condom breaking). Now, it's been ten years since she was born and she was highly interested in history and plants.</p><p>In addition, Shaun had finally got his first grey hair, finally catching up with the rest of his friends in the greying hair process.</p><p>However, other than grey hairs and speaking of the night that Nell was conceived, Shaun believed that it was time to give Nell the talk since she was now in training bras (actually, she attempted one; she didn't find them comfortable) and because he already had her scheduled for her HPV vaccine.</p><p>This wasn't even going to be the first time Shaun would ever have to explain sex and reproduction to someone.</p><p>One time during his rotations in med school, a teenage girl came in complaining of abdominal pain. He, his teacher, and his peers cut her pants off to find a baby and the umbilical cord in the pant leg. The patient didn't even know she was pregnant and she claimed that it couldn't have been possible. Then when he talked to her boyfriend, the boyfriend claimed that it was impossible because they only did it standing up. Shaun then had to explain to the teen that if sexual activity involved the penis being put into the vagina, there was a chance of getting pregnant.</p><p>But that was in Wyoming. This was California, and even if California public schools had better and more adequate sex education (discussing things like STIs, contraception, sexual orientation, healthy relationships, consent, and sexual assault) than most other states, Shaun still thought it was crucial for him to talk to Nell about sexual things as her parent.</p><p>Although it was very awkward, Carly's parents luckily were able to give her and her sister a good sex education at home. And the reason why they had to be the ones to teach them was because she and Andie received abstinence-only education in school. That has been proven over and over again not to work since Carly told Shaun that during her junior year, she recalled hearing that 30 teenage pregnancies had occurred in her school district. Carly grew up in Alabama, so that fact wasn't really a surprise as Alabama usually ended up on the lists for the states with the highest teen pregnancy rates.</p><p>Shaun and Lea didn't grow up in the deep south, but Wyoming and Pennsylvania weren't any better at sex education policies and unlike Carly, Shaun and Lea's parents never had "the talk" with them and because their schools didn't provide sex education at all, and they both even once believed in bogus facts (for example, that old myth about the hymen). Lea was raised strictly Catholic and Shaun was born into a family of Evangelical Baptists, so sex was a taboo topic in their families. Shaun couldn't imagine how it must have felt for Donnie as a gay man. It wasn't good for Lea either as she lost her virginity at the age of 15 without any knowledge of sex (neither her nor her boyfriend at the time were aware of the importance of lube and foreplay). She didn't get a better knowledge of sex and sexuality until she took a human sexuality course in college. Embarrassingly, Shaun actually believed up until the age of 14 that females urinated out of their vaginas...and unfortunately, Steve died thinking that was true. That was when Dr. Glassman gave him the full talk and education about everything and explained that it didn't work that way.</p><p>And getting back to "the talk", this wasn't the first time Shaun was going to give Nell "the talk" because parents teaching their children about sexual-related things was actually something that started in toddlerhood and would evolve over time. In short, "the talk" wasn't something that is given in one conversation.</p><p>Shaun already taught Nell to use anatomically correct terms for genitals by the time she was two. That meant never using terms like "front bottom", "wee-wee", "pee-pee", "cookie", "hoo-ha", "coochie" or any other obnoxious cutesy word he's heard people come up with for their genitals. Equally important, that also meant not referring to the entire external genitalia as the vagina.</p><p>He already taught her about consent, boundaries, and bodily autonomy by the time she was five. Nell also already knew where babies came from and how they were made at that age.</p><p>By the time Nell was eight, Shaun already taught her about puberty, menstruation, masturbation, internet safety, and sexual abuse. He also taught her how male bodies work.</p><p>But now, Shaun was taking "the talk" to the next level.</p><hr/><p>It was a Saturday and Shaun had the day off, so he and Nell were having lunch together at the table. He thought this was the perfect time. "So, you know that you're getting your HPV shot on Wednesday, right?"</p><p>"Yes," replied Nell as she took a bite of her sandwich. "You told me that I'm getting the shot so I don't get HPV, which you said is known to cause some cancers."</p><p>"Exactly. And because of this, I think we should talk about sex."</p><p>"I already know about it," clarified Nell, tightly holding Phoebe, the kitten security blanket she's had since she was born.</p><p>"I know, but there is still more things that you need to know, so I need you to listen, please," asserted Shaun, aware that Nell probably didn't like having conversations like these. Having "the talk" with Dr. Glassman wasn't easy. In fact, it was harder since Dr. Glassman had to teach Shaun a few things that his parents already should have told him and Steve.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"First, you still remember what I said about the female genitalia?" Shaun reminded, making sure she knew the correct terminology.</p><p>"The vagina isn't the whole thing, it's just a canal. It's actually a vulva. Also, females pee out of their urethras, not their vaginas," sighed Nell, slumping into her chair and folding her arms.</p><p>"Good. I want to make sure you still know that because I believed they peed out of their vaginas until I was 14," stressed Shaun.</p><p>"And I already know where babies come from and how they're made. You already told me," groaned Nell, rolling her eyes. "I also already know what a period is and I know what it means. And no, I haven't gotten mine yet."</p><p>"I wasn't going to ask that, but I should tell you that not every woman menstruates and that not everyone with a vagina menstruates either. Trans men can menstruate, and so can genderqueer and non-binary and intersex people. Besides menopause, which is when your periods stop for good, some people may have amenorrhea, which is the absence of menstruation, or never be able to menstruate because some females are born without a uterus. Some women may even have androgen insensitivity syndrome, which is when an XY fetus - a male fetus - doesn't respond to male hormones. Instead, they're born looking externally female. There are also things like hormonal imbalances, surgical removal of the uterus, intense exercise, and a whole other number of reasons why some women don't menstruate. There is also the possibility of an abnormality with the reproductive system and an imperforate hymen," lectured Shaun. "And speaking of the hymen, did I tell you about it yet?"</p><p>"I don't think so," answered Nell.</p><p>"Okay, so the hymen is that thin piece of tissue around the opening of the vagina. However, I'm not just telling you a basic definition. The thing is, there are myths about the hymen that a lot of people sadly still believe. Even your mom and I believed those misconceptions once," explained Shaun.</p><p>"What misconceptions?"</p><p>"So, although imperforate hymens can exist, the media and unfortunately many sex ed classes describe the hymen as a membrane that covers the entire vaginal opening and 'pops' or 'breaks' when a woman has penetrative sex for the first time and then they bleed. And that just isn't true at all. It happened to your mom the first time..."</p><p>"If it's not true, then why did it happen to Mom?" Nell asked, confused by her dad's contradiction.</p><p>"You didn't let me finish," Shaun pointed out. Lea did tear her hymen the first time she had sex, but that's because she and her boyfriend at the time (who pressured her into having sex) weren't aware of the importance of lube and foreplay and the need to get aroused and wet first before getting to penetration. "I mean, it can happen sometimes, but the reason why it happened to your mom was because she wasn't careful, and I was not the one who had sex with her at that time. Also, if a hymen tears, it might not happen during their first time having sex and sometimes, it doesn't happen from having sex. It can also be torn from things like doing the splits or biking."</p><p>Nell started to whimper a little bit, feeling a bit terrified.</p><p>"But, you might not notice it breaking and hymens can heal without medical help," reassured Shaun. "And some people are born without one. Also, about virginity, it is a social construct that doesn't exist. It's just something people made up to criticize women's sexuality. Also, sex isn't just penis in vagina, there is also anal sex and oral sex..."</p><p>"Okay, got it, are we done yet?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>Nell groaned in frustration before she took a sip of her water. She almost reminded Shaun of Lea when she groaned in annoyance.</p><p>"Okay, maybe we can talk about the mechanics later, but I still need to talk to you about STIs and contraception. It doesn't matter whether you choose to be abstinent or not, you still need to know about this stuff," advised Shaun, glaring at Nell with a serious expression. "Protection is the best way to prevent STIs and pregnancy when having sex. You can also get STIs from oral sex. But if you do end up getting an STI, don't be so hard on yourself. That's why it's smart to double up on contraception, which is using a condom and also going on birth control or getting an IUD, which is what goes inside a uterus to prevent pregnancy from taking place."</p><p>"You said I wasn't planned. How did Mom end up pregnant?" Nell asked curiously.</p><p>"Still, not every method of contraception is 100% effective," replied Shaun. "Your mom was on birth control pills, which are 99% effective when used perfectly. I always wore condoms, which are 98% effective when used correctly. The chances of failure are usually very slim. I believe the reason why contraception failed your mom and me was because the condom did break when you were conceived. And your mom had forgotten to take her pills once in a while. And if condoms do ever break, don't panic, just get a new one. And just be thankful you don't have to use crocodile poop mixed with honey inside a vagina because that's how the Ancient Egyptians prevented pregnancy."</p><p>"Ew," cringed Nell, pretending to gag. "They probably didn't know about infections back then. Is that everything?"</p><p>"Actually, there are a few more final things I would like to tell you."</p><p>"Okay," sighed Nell, folding her arms and swinging her calves and feet.</p><p>"Never share nude photos or sexually explicit photos of yourself online. Ever! Do you understand?"</p><p>"Yes. I know I'm not supposed to do that. We were told that in school when we talked about internet safety."</p><p>"And also, remember how I told you that you have the right to refuse a hug from people, including me?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Consent and bodily autonomy applies to sex, too. If someone doesn't want to have sex with you, they mean it. No means no. Don't even try to persuade others to have sex with you or even date you. I tried to persuade your mom to date me, but that almost ended our friendship and even led her to snap at me a few words that really hurt. I knew it was a stupid thing to do," Shaun exhaled regretfully.</p><p>"Okay. Why did you do it if you knew it was stupid?" Nell questioned, giving her dad a dirty look.</p><p>"Once she told me she loved me back, I was so eager to be with her that I overdid things to try and convince her that we would work. I should have let her be, but I can't take it back, though," Shaun said full of remorse before continuing with the original subject. "Anyway, if someone is too drunk, they may not be able to give consent. And remember, if someone asks you if you want to have sex and you don't want to, you have the right to say no. If they want you to do a sex thing you're not comfortable with, you have the right to refuse. Nobody owes anyone sex. Also, if or when you do have sex, do not forget the lube!"</p><p>"Alright, alright! I got it! Is that all you have to say?" Nell groaned.</p><p>"Yes. I know you didn't like doing this. I didn't like having this conversation with Glassy. But if we never had that conversation, I wouldn't have been able to tell all of this stuff to you, and then you would have bad knowledge about sex. Trust me, you'll thank me for it later."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The First Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nell gets her period.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No you sickos, I did not mean that "first time" if that's what you were thinking. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nell was going through puberty and also in her first year of middle school, and Shaun low-key didn't like it because the concept of his daughter growing up was scary, but he accepted that it was happening whether he liked it or not.</p><p>But Nell didn't like going through puberty either; she hated it. The 11-year-old was starting to get some acne and her body was starting to sometimes smell weird without warning. Glassy would not stop talking about how her voice was starting to sound like a teenager's voice and her dad would not stop telling her how she was starting to literally sound just like her mom. She also had boobs now and had moved from training bras to triple-A size. Hair was also growing in places she never expected.</p><p>Her friends were going through the same stuff.</p><p>While sitting in her English class during a lesson on Friday, Nell felt like her pants were wet (as they have felt like this for the past few minutes). Additionally, she had also been experiencing occasional mild cramps in her lower abdomen for the last few days. Right now, they were a bit worse and felt like they were happening longer and she also had a bit of lower back pain.</p><p>Thinking she peed her pants, she raised her hand for her teacher, Mr. Rhee's, attention.</p><p>"Yes Nell, what is it?" Mr. Rhee responded.</p><p>"May I please use the lavatory?" She begged.</p><p>"You sure may."</p><p>Tying her jacket around her waist, she got up out of her seat and then made her way to the nearest restroom.</p>
<hr/><p>When she pulled her pants down in the stall, Nell noticed that there was a crimson bloodstain on her underwear and her shorts.</p><p>She didn't wet her pants, she had started her period.</p><p>She knew that this day was going to come eventually, she just didn't like that it had to come now because she did not bring a pad. Her dad told her that it would be wise to carry one around, and that is what she usually did and her friends also did that as well. But this morning, she had removed her pad from her backpack after it had been in there for a year and she forgot to put in a new one.</p><p>And to make things worse, she was wearing white shorts.</p><p>Her dad told her that she should go to the school nurse if she ever got her period and didn't have any feminine hygiene product, but she felt a bit embarrassed because she didn't want to have to ask Mr. Rhee if she could see the nurse because she didn't feel comfortable explaining the reason why to a male teacher.</p><p>Now she was wondering what to do. She didn't have a pad and she was too embarrassed to explain her need to see the nurse to a male teacher and she didn't have a quarter for the tampon dispensers (and her dad, as well as Claire and Debbie, told her that products like tampons and menstrual cups were something she should wait to use), so she just grabbed some toilet paper and shoved it into her underwear and then pulled her shorts up.</p><p>For the rest of the day, she wore her jacket tied around her waist.</p><p>When she got off the bus and then walked into her apartment after school, she changed her pants and underwear (this time using a pad), hanged her blood-stained shorts and underwear in the bathroom, and then sat on the couch, waiting for her dad to return from his shift.</p>
<hr/><p>Shaun returned home at 8:00 in the evening to find Nell sitting on the couch watching TV.</p><p>"How was your day? Anything interesting happen in school today?" He asked as he sat down next to her, taking his shoes off.</p><p>Not saying a single word, Nell just broke down crying softly.</p><p>"Peanut, what's wrong?" Shaun asked with concern. "Did Scarlet and her friends do something? Did you get in trouble? Did you get a bad grade?"</p><p>"No, I...got my period," she whined softly, still sobbing. "And I wore white shorts and I didn't have a pad with me!"</p><p>Shaun was silent for a bit as he watched his daughter sob. He couldn't believe it, it finally happened. Nell got her period. That meant that she could conceive, but he didn't want to think about that right now. Still, this wasn't a shock like Lea telling him that her period was late was eleven years ago. He reached his hands out towards Nell's shoulder to comfort her. "I'm so sorry. Did you go to the nurse?"</p><p>"No, I...I...was...I didn't want Mr. Rhee to know. I was too embarrassed."</p><p>"Oh," sighed Shaun, understanding how awkward it can feel to approach an authority figure of the opposite sex about things like this. "Are you wearing a pad right now?"</p><p>"Yes. I don't want to talk about it right now! Can you just leave me alone!" Nell snapped, curling her knees towards her chest into a fetal position.</p><p>"Alright, I can do that," Shaun got up from the couch to move to his room and read one of his medical journals, figuring that Nell needed some space for a little bit so she could process what had just happened to her. "But, I will need to talk to you later about this. We don't have to talk about this right now. We can talk about this tomorrow. Does that sound good to you?"</p><p>Nell nodded her head up and down and then murmured a soft "uh-huh".</p><p>"Okay, then. Would you like a heating pad or something? Ice cream?" Shaun offered, trying to put himself in his daughter's shoes. "Also, can you tell me where your shorts and underwear are so I can wash them? It's better to treat stains from menstrual blood as soon as possible...or would you rather wash them yourself?"</p><p>Shaun remembered how a few of Lea's underwear would sometimes come out of the washing machine with fading period bloodstains that had already soaked into the fabrics. Living with her, he has witnessed her attempt to remove bloodstains from her clothes and her bedsheets before.</p><p>"No, I'm fine," Nell answered solemnly. "And my shorts and underwear are hanging in the bathroom. Also, you can wash them. I don't care."</p><p>"Okay. Just come talk to me if you need anything."</p>
<hr/><p>Shaun let his thoughts run through his head as he sat alone in his room in the middle of the bed.</p><p>He knew that this was going to happen, so he did spend some time researching what he should say and how he should react when his daughter gets her period. Most girls would prefer talking to their moms about it, but Lea was dead...so all the rest of the period talk was on Shaun. It wasn't that he felt uncomfortable having this discussion with Nell (he didn't), it's just that even though he fully understood periods and the menstrual cycle from a biological perspective and knew it was perfectly natural, it was understanding the experience of actually having a period that he needed to work on.</p><p>He's asked Dr. Glassman how he handled it with Maddie and he asked Debbie, Claire, Carly, Morgan, and his friend Imelda how their mothers handled it with them. Even though he researched plenty of period hacks on the internet and has witnessed Lea (and Carly) during their periods, Shaun also felt like he should ask them about important tips they used with handling their periods as well as common experiences.</p><p>
  <em>"I went through menopause years ago, but my advice is to tell her to start out with a pad before using tampons. Also, never force her to use tampons," said Debbie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whatever she does, make sure she does not swim with a pad. When I was ten, I learned that the hard way at a class field trip to the water park when the pressure from the shooting water from the waterslide forced my pad out of my swimsuit," said Carly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Make sure she is prepared. There might be a time when she thinks her period is over, but tell her to carry feminine products in her purse anyway. One time in 8th grade, I thought my period was over for now, but then BAM! Auntie Flo made a big surprise. I didn't have any pads or tampons and the tampon dispenser was out of order, so I just stuffed a bunch of toilet paper in my underwear. Unfortunately, it didn't last long...and then the wad of toilet paper fell down my sweatpants and then out of the cuff," shared Morgan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Make sure she cleans out the bloodstains as soon as possible, or else it will soak into the fabric. Make sure you use cold water and don't soak it in hot water," advised Claire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Believe her and take her seriously when she says the cramps are unbearable. Don't tell her to just walk it off, especially if it is causing her migraines or vomiting. Instead, maybe think about getting her on birth control if her periods are bad. The pill really helped make my periods more tolerable and they absolutely helped Julia with her PCOS," reminded Imelda.</em>
</p><p>Shaun definitely knew well about the last piece of advice Imelda had given him. However, the advice that everyone gave Shaun was to be supportive.</p><p>And being supportive was exactly what he was going to do.</p>
<hr/><p>The next day, Shaun was sitting with Nell on the edge of her bed, discussing what had happened yesterday. He talked to her about tampons, the different methods of protection, the different levels of flows, and the importance of never leaving a tampon in for too long (although her chances of getting Toxic Shock Syndrome were low). He shared with her tips and important facts.</p><p>"You might be feeling worried and insecure. Claire and the other women I asked said that they felt that way when they got their first period. Your Uncle Donnie said that your mom felt that way, too. A lot of girls your age could be having their period soon or maybe have already had theirs. I know I've already told you this before, but it's a perfectly natural process and it's nothing to be ashamed of," reassured Shaun.</p><p>"But it still feels embarrassing," moaned Nell.</p><p>"I understand," sighed Shaun before deciding that maybe he could tell her about an embarrassing moment he went through at her age, hoping it would put her mind at ease. "You know, when I was your age, I got an erection during class. The girl next was so...um...hot...I guess, that I got aroused. Then, it got worse when the teacher asked me to solve the math problem on the board. I used my jacket to hide the erection. I was so embarrassed, but I don't think anyone noticed because nobody spoke of it afterward."</p><p>Nell laughed a little bit at her dad's story. It did help her feel a little bit better about what she was going through.</p><p>"Anyway, here are some pamphlets and lists," Shaun demonstrated as he spread them out all over Nell's bed. "They will give you tips and hacks about tracking your cycle and there are also apps you could download on your phone that help you track your cycle. Anyway, the average cycle is 28 days, which is when you might get your next one, but it could also come in less or more than 28 days. However, it is totally normal for it to be irregular, especially at your age."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Also, next time, again, go see the nurse if you need a feminine product...or you could ask a friend or another girl in your class if they have one," advised Shaun. "Carly said that it can feel embarrassing when you're a newbie, but it feels less embarrassing as you get older and gain experience. Do you promise that you'll see the nurse next time it happens or ask one of your friends?"</p><p>"Okay, I will. I kind of wish Mom was here so I could talk to her about it," exhaled Nell.</p><p>"You don't have to just ask me about everything. Also, even if your mom was still alive, she wouldn't be the only woman in your life. You can also ask Debbie, Claire, Morgan, Carly, Dr. Lim, Imelda, Julia, or your other friends' moms. They've also had plenty of experience with menstruation."</p><p>"So, does this mean that I'm a woman now?" Nell asked nervously. "I don't want to grow up yet."</p><p>"No, it doesn't have to mean that. You can still identify as a kid if you want," heartened Shaun. "I mean, you're still my little girl and you will always be my little girl to me. You don't have to consider yourself a grown-up just because you're going through puberty. You're only 11. Also, periods are not disgusting or shameful."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad. I think I feel better now."</p><p>"I'm glad we had this talk, peanut. Also, here is some chocolate," Shaun handed two chocolate bars to Nell. "Your mom often craved chocolate when she was on her period."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Nell managed to crack a small smile.</p><p>Shaun has moved on, but he did still miss Lea. She wasn't there for her daughter's first period...or any other milestones...but that didn't mean that Shaun couldn't learn from Lea's experience.</p><p>Lea told him long ago that when she got her period, her mom was out of town and she was staying her dad. At the age of 12, she was too embarrassed to talk to him about it, so she kept her underwear hidden and never told anyone until her mom went snooping and found her bloody underwear in her drawers. Poor Lea wanted to handle it all by herself because she didn't have a good relationship with her mother. After that, her mom just stroked her head and said "Aww, you're a woman now"; as if Lea wasn't already cranky enough. Then, she told the whole family about it.</p><p>Shaun was glad he was there for his daughter when she got her period. And Lea would be glad that her own daughter had a parent who handled it better than her own mother did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Funny thing, Morgan's advice and story is actually based on an experience I had in 8th grade.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Life is a Fucked Up Mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After grieving her first death, Nell is plagued by anxiety over death.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yep, I decided to kill off Dr. Glassman :(. On the bright side, in this future, AOC is president and Cory Booker is vice president and people have made changes to the way we bury the dead. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and feel free to review if you want.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the beginning of December, the beginning of the end of the year 2032; the year Nell turned 11, Shaun turned 40, Steve would have turned 38, and Lea would have turned 41.</p><p>However, the only good thing to come out of this year for Shaun and Nell was Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Cory Booker recently getting re-elected to serve a second term as the country's president and vice president. Most of this year had been tough for Shaun and Nell.</p><p>In January, Shaun received a call from the hospital in Casper informing him that his mother was in the ICU after suffering from a cerebral hemorrhage and that he needed to come to Wyoming to make a decision since they needed consent from a family member, and he was the only immediate relative they were able to locate. He had to travel to another state just to give the doctors his permission to pull the plug on his estranged mother. But that wasn't the worst part of the year.</p><p>In late June, Dr. Glassman was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic small cell lung cancer, but he and Debbie kept the diagnosis hidden from Shaun and Nell for a week. However, in hindsight, Shaun knew something was up when he noticed his mentor frequently coughing.</p><p>When Dr. Glassman and Debbie broke the bad news to Shaun and Nell, they begged their surrogate son and granddaughter not to become fixated on trying to save him because Dr. Glassman had already accepted his fate. He wanted to make the best of his final days and unlike the last time he informed Shaun that he had cancer, Shaun fully accepted the fact that his mentor was dying and he didn't become super fixated on saving him.</p><p>
  <em>"I'm 77-years-old. I've lived my life," Aaron told them. "I could have only four months left to live and I don't want to waste them."</em>
</p><p>But unlike Shaun, Nell was in denial and was practically begging her grandfather-figure and her father to get treatment. The thought of cancer scared her, and when she was nine, Shaun had to take her to a therapist when her anxiety over childhood cancer was negatively affecting her daily life. This was going to be the first death of a loved one she was going to have to deal with.</p><p>When Shaun and Nell went home that night (neither of them cried), Shaun didn't ask his daughter how she felt about this. Instead, he told her that Glassy might not have much time left, so the best that they needed to do for him was to spend quality time with him and enjoy the last moments with him.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"Peanut, I get it. Cancer is scary and the thought of getting it or watching someone you love suffer from it is awful. And we all wish that we could save people and the world from cancer," sighed Shaun, sitting next to Nell on her bed. "But...we need to accept that in some cases, death is inevitable. Believe me, when I was a resident, I learned the hard way three times about the consequences of obsessing too much over trying to save someone from dying of cancer."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How is saving someone from dying of cancer bad?" Nell asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean like, obsessing too much over cases where the patient already can't be saved," stated Shaun. "It isn't worth it because when you try to save someone who is already terminally ill, you're just putting them through more misery with so much difficult testing, medication, and surgeries with only a small chance of saving them that they're basically spending the rest of their life, which could only be months, miserable. Do you understand?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think so," babbled Nell. "What do you mean you learned the hard way?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The first time was when a patient that looked like your Uncle Steve had terminal bone cancer. His name was Evan Gallico and I thought there was a 0.3% chance that he didn't have cancer. I was too optimistic that I committed an ethical violation just to prove that I was right even though I was obviously wrong and just ended up giving him false hope because the cancer had already metastasized," recounted Shaun grievously, never forgetting Evan. "The second time was that time Glassy got cancer a few years before you were born. When I found out, I was so fixated on wanting to save him that I almost killed a patient during surgery. If Caden didn't live, I probably would have been filed for medical negligence."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So, in those two cases, you could have gotten your medical license taken away?" Nell guessed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Exactly. And the third time was when Claire and I treated Paul, the hospital janitor. He had pancreatic cancer and I suggested doing a risky surgery that could increase his chances of beating the disease, but instead, he died less than a day later when he could have spent one last year with his family," explained Shaun. "So, do you think we can make Glassy's last five months or maybe year useful and worth it? I won't lie, he will get worse medically as death comes closer, but he'll be given cannabis over time. The point is, we need to enjoy the rest of his life with him. He regrets not being there enough for his daughter and not spending enough time with her."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay," Nell breathed heavily.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whatever you are feeling right now, it's okay to feel that way. And if you don't want to talk about your feelings, that's fine," reminded Shaun as he rose off the bed and tucked Nell in. "Goodnight, I love you."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>So, Dr. Glassman made use of his final five months. He filled out the forms for a DNR and presented his will to Shaun and Debbie. He spent time with Debbie, Shaun, and Nell - playing board games, going on walks, going to the park. Shaun and Debbie helped Aaron make sure he would die with dignity. As for his surrogate granddaughter, spending time with him helped ease her negative feelings over his diagnosis, his impending death, the future, and death itself.</p><p>Then, on the evening of December 2, 2032, Dr. Aaron Glassman died peacefully and painlessly in his own home surrounded by his wife and surrogate son. Nell didn't want to watch him die, and they all guessed that it would probably too much for her, especially Shaun considering that he witnessed the death of people (and an animal) he loved three times before this moment. So, Nell was spending the night alone in the apartment since she was old enough to be left home alone.</p><p>Now, it was December 5 and while everyone else at the funeral shed tears, Shaun and Nell didn't. They weren't overtly showing their emotions either, but that didn't mean they felt nothing. Neither of them wanted to talk about their feelings. Shaun didn't shed a tear at Steve's funeral or Dr. Melendez's funeral. Both times, he worried that he looked cold and apathetic and that he was upsetting the other guests. But this time, most of the guests understood how Shaun and Nell's brains were wired.</p><p>After the funeral, Shaun and Nell went home to their apartment.</p><p>After that, they both wanted to be alone in their rooms. Shaun clutched his old toy scalpel in one hand and petted Poppy with the other as he processed his thoughts.</p><p>Shaun knew that people on the spectrum can grieve in ways that aren't expected from neurotypicals. For Nell, he needed to be on the lookout for things like shutdowns, meltdowns, and decreased social abilities. First, he had to keep himself from falling apart as well as taking care of himself physically. He needed to make sure that Nell was also taken care of physically.</p><p>Unlike the deaths of his rabbit, Steve, Dr. Melendez, and Lea, Shaun honestly didn't feel as sad or upset this time. Maybe it was because Dr. Glassman's death was expected and more prepped for instead of coming completely out of left field and happening so suddenly. However, he did feel the way he felt after those four deaths when he learned about Dr. Glassman's diagnosis. It was probably also because Dr. Glassman did almost reach the US average life expectancy age while Lea, Steve, and Dr. Melendez never made it to 50. Therefore, his mentor's time would eventually come soon.</p><p>However, no matter how he was feeling, he still needed to check on Nell.</p><p>Shaun did go check on his daughter in her room, and he opened the door to see Nell pulling hard on her hair and pinching herself. She was having a meltdown, and every time Shaun would see her meltdown, it was like looking in a mirror for him. She had a meltdown like this after they went home the night Dr. Glassman told them about his diagnosis.</p><p>He walked into her room and went over to squeeze her into a hug, the exact same way Lea would do to calm Shaun down. He let Nell sob in his arms, crying with her.</p>
<hr/><p>The next morning at breakfast, Shaun noticed that Nell wasn't eating her food. Instead, she sat up on her chair in a fetal position, wrapping her arms around her knees and letting Phoebe dangle from her hands.</p><p>"Did you lose your appetite?" Shaun asked, concerned. This was the kind of behavior that he was looking out for.</p><p>"I'm not hungry," Nell stated, clearly a bit distressed.</p><p>"Is something bothering you?"</p><p>"Okay, fine! Yes!" She snapped.</p><p>Shaun was startled a bit by his daughter's loud tone of voice, but he went ahead and validated her feelings and asked her to tell him what was bothering her.</p><p>"I'm afraid to die," she confessed tearfully. "It's been bothering me all week!"</p><p>Shaun let his daughter's revelation sink in. He already explained death to her, and this wasn't the first time the thought of dying ever freaked her out. "What part about death is distressing you? Is it the process of dying you're afraid of? Is it the idea of being dead scaring you?"</p><p>"Yes! All of it! I don't know why and how I feel this way!" Nell wept. "I also can't stop thinking about how you have watched people die and also everything about the settlers and how they had to face all those horrible diseases. I don't know, it's just...it freaks me out."</p><p>Shaun could completely understand how Nell was feeling, especially when she mentioned the past (and history was one of her special interests), where maternal death and child/infant mortality was pretty much the norm and the average life expectancy was decades lower. He was lucky to not have been a doctor and a parent before the 20th century. Even as a doctor, Shaun found many of the outdated medical practices to be just as sickening as medieval torture methods - lobotomies, bloodletting, leeches, trepanation, tobacco smoke enemas. The only successful surgery he would have been able to perform centuries ago was amputation, which would have been done without anesthesia (although he only did that once when rescuing Vera). He couldn't help but feel for Nabby Adams Smith and Fanny Burney, two women who underwent mastectomies without anesthesia to treat their breast cancer in 1811. It was already too late for Nabby. If Lea had given birth 200 years ago, the chorio or the hemorrhage would have killed her first. Women used to just die in childbirth. During the medieval era, women would write out their wills as soon as they discovered they were pregnant. And Lea probably would have been burned at the stake for wanting an epidural. It happened to a woman in 1591 after she took a pain reliever herb when she gave birth to twins. It was also so common for children to die before the age of five that parents didn't even get attached to their children. Some didn't even give their children names until they reached the age of five. There would have been no way Shaun could protect Nell from diphtheria, croup, whooping cough, polio, measles, mumps, chicken pox, smallpox, or any other disease that used to be common. Out of all the usual diseases that could infect a pioneer, cholera and dysentery sounded the worst.</p><p>"I understand how hearing about it is distressing, especially since some of these things are still common problems in developing countries," agreed Shaun. "I have to tell you, sometimes I just can't sit through some medical-related scenes in movies or TV shows that are set more than 100 years ago. And yes, I have witnessed death many times as a doctor, but we get used to it. It's different when the patient is someone we love and care about, though. It's why we're not allowed to treat our family members."</p><p>"Can you please put your medical journal away?" Nell requested, pointing to the closed textbook on the table. "It keeps upsetting me."</p><p>"Sure," assented Shaun, feeling no need to ask Nell why and fulfilling her request. He figured that seeing something that was reminding her of diseases was feeding into her distressing thoughts about the horrors of the past. "Also, maybe take a break from reading historical fiction, watching period dramas, or reading about history for a while if doing that could also be feeding your stress about death."</p><p>"Thank you," Nell said softly.</p><p>"Peanut, is it the thought of the pain and suffering that could happen when you die that is bothering you?" Shaun questioned.</p><p>"I think so, but I don't think that's the main thing about death that is bothering me," replied Nell.</p><p>"Okay, then. Is it the thought of being dead and not existing at all bothering you?" Shaun queried, wondering if that was it.</p><p>"Yes," answered Nell. "Nobody knows what it is like because those who die don't live to tell the tale. I know that there is no afterlife since you told me that it don't exist."</p><p>Shaun thought about what Nell said. He was raised to believe in a higher power, but throughout college and med school, he began to doubt his religious beliefs yet still wanted to believe in an afterlife. It was his own way of comforting himself about his own fear of death and Steve's death. But as a child and a teenager, Shaun still was afraid of death because he would have anxiety about going to Hell whenever he did something bad. He officially declared himself an atheist between his second and third years of residency. He would never experience being dead because there would be no him to perceive it, and imagining himself dead was a scary thought.</p><p>"I get it," comforted Shaun. "The thought of facing death and then not existing is very frightening. But try not to think about it too much. Is there anything else about death that is bothering you?"</p><p>"Yes. I'm afraid of how and when I'm going to die," mewled Nell, squeezing herself tighter. "I just can't stop thinking about it. Cancer, heart attack, brain-eating ameoba, end of the world."</p><p>Human nature generally seeks to control the situations they encounter, but death remains something over which people have absolutely no control over, which was petrifying to a lot of people. Shaun completely understood that. "You know, if it makes you feel any better, I've learned to fear death a lot less as I got older."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Experience mostly," assured Shaun. "I've been on this planet for 40 years. I've seen loved ones die and I've seen patients die. Mostly, after losing your uncle and your mom, I started to realize that I just need to live like I was going to die tomorrow. Life is a fucked up mess, and there is a reason why people die - to make life important."</p><p>"So, what can I do?" Nell begged. "How can I stop thinking scary thoughts about death?"</p><p>"Live in the present moment, enjoy your life, and don't worry about the future too much," suggested Shaun. "Try breathing and meditating, those also help me. And if your anxiety over this starts to affect your daily life, I'll take you to a therapist. I also think Glassy dying is probably what is regurgitating your fears, and this is the first time you ever lost someone close to you."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, one day, you're going to lose me, too. And sometimes I was afraid of dying alone, and I think dying alone is what you're afraid of, too," explained Shaun. "Anyway, do you know what your mom told me on our first date?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You're never going to happy if you constantly live in fear," answered Shaun, remembering those exact words Lea told him. "The thing is, spending your life worrying about dying is just going to make your whole life miserable. Do you understand?"</p><p>"Yes," affirmed Nell softly.</p><p>"Also, one thing I learned from losing your uncle and your mom was that it would be good to plan out what we want to happen after we die," informed Shaun. "When your mom died, she didn't have a will or a healthcare proxy...I've told you what a healthcare proxy is, right?"</p><p>"Yes," reminded Nell.</p><p>"Okay, anyway," continued Shaun. "Your mom didn't have a will or healthcare proxy, and because we weren't married at the time of her death, I wasn't her next of kin, her mother was. Your mom once told me during a casual conversation that she either wanted to be cremated or have a natural burial without any heavy metal casket or embalming process, but because she didn't write that in a will or put me as the person to make the decisions, she ended up getting the kind of funeral and burial that she didn't want."</p><p>Throughout the past decade, more and more federal regulations have been placed on funeral traditions and the funeral industry because they were bad for the environment, which is exactly why Lea didn't want the traditional funeral. Thankfully, the practice of embalming had been banned and heavy metal caskets were now obsolete. If Lea died today, she probably would have gotten the kind of burial she wished for.</p><p>"At least Glassy got a natural burial," sighed Nell.</p><p>"That's true," agreed Shaun. "Anyway, it was losing your mother that I realized that I definitely needed to confront my mortality, especially now that I had you. So, I wrote out my will and then got my affairs in order. That way, if the unexpected would ever happen, my wishes would be clear and my legacy would be secure. Now, I know that the idea of confronting your mortality and talking about your own death is unsettling, but it's important that we accept that we will all die one day. Maybe, but not right this second or today or even tomorrow, you could write down what you would want your funeral to be like and what you would want to happen when you die. Now, I think and hope you will outlive me and it's most likely going to be an awfully long time before you die, but I think we could start practicing writing out your will and then we'll update it once in a while over the years. It can be good practice for creating your will as an adult. The thing is, it's best to live as if we were going to die tomorrow."</p><p>"What would I want to be written in my will if I was going to die before you or today?" Nell asked.</p><p>"What you would want me to do with your belongings; like what you would want me to keep and what you would want me to sell," clarified Shaun. "But again, we don't have to discuss this right now."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"But, starting now, you and I will live in the moment by going for a walk and enjoying the world around us. Would you like to go for a walk with me?" Shaun suggested, getting up from his chair to grab his jacket from the hall tree and then putting his shoes on. "It can help clear your mind of your anxieties. Do you think it will help?"</p><p>"I think so, okay. I would love to," decided Nell, getting up and then going to her room to get her shoes on.</p><p>"And then this evening, you and I can go see Debbie and spend time with her," added Shaun, knowing that Debbie would want some comfort and help in this moment. Spending time with her surrogate granddaughter would probably make her feel better. "Studies have shown that spending time with your friends and family can sometimes make people feel better and make them feel less lonely. How does that sound?"</p><p>"I would like that very much," replied Nell, cracking a small smile on her face.</p><p>Eventually, the walk as well as a conversation with her father did ease Nell's anxiety about death and made her forget about her grandfather-figure's death for a while. Shaun helped his daughter live by her mother's motto, to enjoy her life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I remember losing my great-grandmother when I was eight. It was the first death I ever grieved. Although her funeral wasn't the first funeral I attended or even the first time someone close to me died, That moment was when I really became freaked out by death because I saw my great grandmother on her death bed (I wasn't there when she died) and her funeral was the first time I actually saw a corpse. That was also around the same time I learned about what happens to your body when you die and also about the embalming process, which freaked me out.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Twelfth Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On Nell's 12th birthday, Shaun takes her to Hershey to visit Lea's grave.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it took a long time to update. I have been so stressed and anxious because of the upcoming election. Sorry for the short chapter, but I hope you all enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was May 30, 2033, and for the sixth time in her life, 12-year-old Nell was going to visit her mother's grave in her hometown of Hershey, Pennsylvania. The first time when her dad took her was when she was barely a year old. The second time, she was four. The third time, she was six. The fourth time, she was eight. And the fifth time, she was 10.</p><p>Last summer, Shaun had taken Nell to his hometown of Casper, Wyoming, where he showed her his childhood home, Steve's grave, and the bus in the junkyard that he and Steve stayed in. They didn't travel a lot and they would only ever go to Hershey to see Donnie, but Nell really wanted to see what her father's home town looked like and also see her uncle's grave.</p><p>Friday was the last day of school and her birthday was on the first Monday of summer vacation. Visiting her mother's grave - and also spend time with her cousin Mateo - was one way Nell wanted to spend her birthday and her first week of summer.</p><p>Just like they did every time they visited Hershey, Shaun and Nell would stay with Donnie, his husband, and their son. Although Donnie would often take Mateo to Lea's grave, he and his husband Raul didn't accompany Shaun and Nell whenever they would visit it.</p><p>Right now, just like they would do every time they visited this place, Shaun and Nell were standing side-by-side at Lea's heart-shaped headstone and staring down at it. Next to the headstone were the graves of her father and paternal grandparents that were obviously beginning to erode. More blooming flowers had been planted around the grave. This time, they weren't flowers that symbolized grief like lilies, but native Pennsylvania springtime flowers such as columbines of red and yellow and maroon wild gingers.</p><p>Everything that was inscribed into the grave itself hadn't changed at all for the past dozen years.</p><p>
  <em>Lea Virginia Dilallo<br/>13th Sept. 1991 - 12th Jul. 2021<br/>Beloved Daughter, Sister, Girlfriend, and Mother</em>
</p><p>For many couples, there usually would have been another vacant grave right next to the already deceased and buried spouse with the grave of the widow or widower already having their name and date of birth already carved into it. However, that wasn't going to be the case for Shaun, and the practice itself was already becoming obsolete due to changes in the way people bury their dead.</p><p>Nell stared at everything that was engraved into her mother's headstone and did all the math in her head. Her mother died when she was six weeks old, which was around being one month old. She died 43 days after she was born and she was only 29-years-old. She would have been 30 in September of that year and if she was still alive today, she would be 41 going on 42.</p><p>"She's decomposed, but at least she's in a peaceful place," observed Nell, staring blankly at the grave.</p><p>Shaun and Nell continued to both stare at the grave silently like they did every time before finally deciding to leave and go back to staying with Donnie, Raul, and Mateo.</p><hr/><p>That night when he was alone in the guest room (Nell would always sleep on a mattress in Mateo's room), Shaun read Lea's obituary via from his phone. He was the one who had written it and posted it with the help of Donnie.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Lea Virginia Dilallo (1991-2021)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea "Lulu" Virginia Dilallo, 29, of San Jose, California, died on July 12, 2021, due to severe complications from late postpartum eclampsia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea was born in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania on September 13, 1991 and was raised in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Her parents divorced when she was five. She graduated from Hershey High School in 2010 and continued on to receive her bachelor's degree in engineering at the University of Pittsburgh in 2014 and then her master's degree in automotive engineering at the Pasadena Art Center College of Design in 2016.</em>
</p><p><em>A bit of a firecracker, Lea was bubbly, kind, intelligent, and a fun person to be around. She liked to live in the moment. She was </em> <em>known to bounce from job to job, from being an automotive engineer at the Yauto Tech Company to a tech support worker and assistant at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital, where her boyfriend works as a surgical resident. As a teenager, she and her brother liked to help their grandfather with his auto shop. She had a passion for cars and she enjoyed playing video games.</em></p><p><em>Lea is preceded in death by her father, Donald Dilallo; her paternal grandparents, Rodney and Eleanor Dilallo; and her maternal grandfather, Vernon Pachis. </em> <em>She is survived by her boyfriend, Shaun Murphy, and their newborn daughter Eleanor "Nell"; her brother, Donald "Donnie" Dilallo, Jr., his husband Raul Salinas, and their son Mateo; </em> <em>her mother, Virginia Dilallo; her maternal grandmother, Margaret Pachis; and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. Lea is also survived by Aaron Glassman and Deborah Wexler, Shaun's parental figures, both of whom cared about her deeply and treated her and Shaun like their own children.</em></p><p>
  <em>The funeral service and visitation hours will be held at 9:00 am on Tuesday, July 20 at St. Leo the Great Catholic Church. Her burial will be held in her hometown of Hershey, Pennsylvania at Hershey Cemetery on July 22 at 10:00 am.</em>
</p><p><em>In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made either to the Preeclampsia Foundation or the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. The family of Lea V. Dilallo wishes to thank </em> <em>San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital's ER, ICU, and maternity ward for their compassionate care for their fellow employee, and LifeNet health for faithfully implementing her wish to be an organ donor.</em></p><p>Shaun also read the entries that Carly, Nurse Fletcher, Claire, the priest from Lea's childhood church, Lea's friend from high school, and Lea's uncle had posted below.</p><p>
  <em>May God bless you and keep you as we mourn the loss of such a special wife, mother, daughter, and friend. May God also bless her poor husband and their little girl as well.<br/><strong>- Thomas Lynch</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lea was my best friend at Hershey High School. When her ex-boyfriend dumped her at prom, her, me, and my date left and went to go see a movie instead. It really did make her feel better about her broken heart. I am proud to have known this extraordinary young woman and I can't imagine how heartbroken her boyfriend is over this. Deepest condolences to her entire family.<br/><strong>- Brittany Kraeszig</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Shaun,<br/>Please know you and Nell are in my thoughts. Wishing you comfort and strength through the love of others.<br/>Love, Carly<br/><strong>- Carly Lever</strong></em>
</p><p><em>So very sorry to learn of this sad news. My heart goes out to Lea's family who are enduring this tragic loss, especially Dr. Murphy. He's definitely going to need a lot of help and comfort.<br/></em> <em> <strong>- Julie Fletcher</strong> </em></p><p>
  <em>We are devastated to learn of Lulu's passing. Janet and I send our sympathy and love not only to Virginia and Donnie, but also to Shaun and Eleanor. At least my niece is now in the Lord's arms with my brother and my parents.<br/><strong>- Mickey Dilallo</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Shaun. I know you had a tough life, suffered a lot of loss, and had a tough few years with your mentor battling cancer, almost losing your job, surviving an earthquake and the pandemic, and Lea's difficult pregnancy. I hope things get better for you and Nell.<br/><strong>- Claire Browne</strong></em>
</p><p>Shaun would read all of that every day on the anniversary of Lea's death, but there were some days like this day when he felt like reading it.</p><p>He then shut off his phone and then settled himself into bed for the night.</p><p>Steve, Dr. Melendez, Lea, and Dr. Glassman - he was always going to spend the rest of his life missing them. But, he was always grateful to still have Debbie and Nell.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Love Hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nell has her first crush...and her first heartbreak.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's pretty soon for a quick upload, but I want to get this story done before the season premiere of The Good Doctor, and it's only going to be one more chapter after this one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During this time, Nell's middle school was having its annual fall school dance. Nell and her friends never went, but this year felt different for Nell because she thought that maybe she could go with Oliver Shapiro, a boy she's had a crush on since the beginning of the school year.</p>
<p>"Dad, how do you ask a guy out to a school dance?" Nell asked out of the blue.</p>
<p>Shaun thought over his response carefully as this was the first time Nell ever asked him about having a crush. He knew questions like these could probably come later (unless she was aromantic) since she was 13-years-old.</p>
<p>"Are you in love with someone, peanut?" Shaun asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Yes," replied Nell. "I'm thinking of asking him to the school dance."</p>
<p>"So, who is the person?" Shaun inquired.</p>
<p>"Oliver Shapiro," answered Nell, fiddling with Phoebe. "He's in my math class."</p>
<p>"What's he like?" Shaun probed.</p>
<p>"He has dark brown hair, tan skin, and hazel eyes," described Nell. "And that's it."</p>
<p>"That's it? You never talked to him?" Shaun queried. He thought about this and knew that this was probably unrequited love, and most people don't meet the love of their life in middle school anyway. However, Shaun was going to support her no matter what.</p>
<p>"I'm too shy," verified Nell.</p>
<p>"I understand it's scary, but being shy isn't going to get you anywhere with him," conceded Shaun. "And you're going to need to step out of your comfort zone if you want to go to the dance with this boy."</p>
<p>"How did you get girls to go out with you?" Nell asked curiously, hoping her dad would have answers and advice on what she could do.</p>
<p>"Well, your mom took me on a road trip during my first year of residency," began Shaun, knowing he was going to need to use more than one example. "She was the one who asked me to kiss her first. When she moved back to San Jose, she wanted to remain friends because she didn't think starting a relationship at that time was a good idea. A couple years later when I told her that I wanted to be her boyfriend, she was a little too hesitant to start a relationship with me. And as I told you before, the fight we had after that would have ended our friendship permanently if it wasn't for the earthquake. She apologized for telling me that I couldn't fix my autism and I apologized for threatening to smash her car."</p>
<p>"I know that," acknowledged Nell, finding it odd and surprising that her parents were actually huge jerks to each other at that point.</p>
<p>"Also, your mom is not the only woman I've been with," reminded Shaun. "I also dated Carly once, and I was the one who asked her out on a date. I showed up at her door with flowers and a box of chocolates and I asked her if she wanted to go out on a date."</p>
<p>"What about that other woman you dated a few years ago?" Nell wondered.</p>
<p>"Rachel? We were never a couple, it was just one date," corrected Shaun. "Also, neither of us even wanted to go on the date in the first place."</p>
<p>"So, how should I ask Oliver out on a date?" Nell asked. "Should I go big?"</p>
<p>"No, I'd just say...just go up to him, strike up a conversation, and then ask him if he would like to come to the dance with you," recommended Shaun.</p>
<p>"What if he says 'no'?"</p>
<p>Shaun was prepared to comfort Nell if she was ever hurt in a relationship or by someone she liked, but he tried to figure out how to answer the question. "Well, rejection happens to everyone, and it takes trial and error. And even if Oliver rejects you, there will still be opportunities for you to ask other boys or girls out that you like...and they might say 'yes'."</p>
<p>"I guess I'll try," sighed Nell.</p>
<p>"Well, good luck. I hope things go well."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Nell nervously rubbed her hands together as she sat with Ava, Mabel, Ophelia, and Winter at the lunch table. The five friends stared at Oliver, who was sitting at the table across from them.</p>
<p>"Lunch is going to be over in fifteen minutes!" Mabel warned urgently in whispers. "If I were you, I'd go ahead and ask Oliver out now!"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I agree," chimed in Ava. "Just do the deed already and get it over with!"</p>
<p>"The longer you wait, the smaller your chances," advised Winter.</p>
<p>"Exactly. You might not be the only one who wants to ask him to the dance," added Ophelia.</p>
<p>"Okay, okay!" Nell sighed in annoyance, but ready to make her move. "I'll do it."</p>
<p>Nell nervously and hesitantly walked over to the table where Oliver and his friends were sitting.</p>
<p>"Oh, hey Nell. What's up?" Oliver asked in a friendly voice.</p>
<p>"Hey, um, I, um...uh," blubbered Nell apprehensively as she stimmed with her hands and rolled back and forth on her heels. "I...I was wondering if...if you would like to come to the dance with me on Saturday. I'll buy both of our tickets."</p>
<p>Oliver hesitated before finally giving an answer. "Well, I'm sorry to say this, but...I already asked Scarlet to the dance."</p>
<p>Nell was shocked when she heard that her crush had asked her arch nemesis to the dance. Trying to hold back her tears, she just turned away from Oliver's table and then went to sit back down with her friends and cry into their arms.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When Shaun walked through the door into the apartment later that afternoon, he asked Nell what the result was.</p>
<p>"So, how did it go?"</p>
<p>"He asked Scarlet to the dance instead," sniffed Nell, who was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching TV, Poppy snuggled up next to her.</p>
<p>Shaun could tell that Nell was devasted and disappointed. He knew that rejection and unrequited love hurt, but the fact that her crush was going with her worst enemy was probably what made it worse.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to sit with you? Do you want to go out for frozen yogurt? Go for a walk?" Shaun suggested, thinking of ways that could make Nell feel better about her broken heart.</p>
<p>"Please sit with me," begged Nell.</p>
<p>Shaun sat down on the couch next to Nell and then held her close, comforting her.</p>
<p>"What if I never get a kiss? I want to know what it feels like!" Nell sobbed.</p>
<p>"You will get that experience some day," reassured Shaun, aware of the fear of being alone. "But it isn't good to stress over it and there is no deadline. I didn't have my first kiss until I was like almost 26. And I know how it feels to get hurt by the girl you had a crush on. I had a similar experience when I was around your age."</p>
<p>"Really?" Nell asked. "How?"</p>
<p>"I had a crush on Colleen Myers," began Shaun. "One day, when I thought a conversation we were having was leading to a kiss, she said that she would show me her genitals if I showed her mine. I asked her if she could kiss me, but she said she would if I showed her my penis. I didn't want to, so I just walked away. But before I could walk away from her, a bunch of the other kids jumped out of the bushes and laughed at me. It turned out that she was trying to trick me into exposing myself. She said, 'Like I would ever kiss a creepy weirdo like you.'"</p>
<p>"That's awful," cringed Nell, appalled and even embarrassed for her dad. She hated having to imagine being in that situation.</p>
<p>"I know, and because of that incident, I was wary of the opposite sex for years until I met your mom," confessed Shaun. "Also, your mom had a similar experience as you at prom in high school."</p>
<p>"Did the guy she like ask out her worst enemy?" Nell asked out of curiosity.</p>
<p>"Sort of," Shaun scratched his head, remembering Lea tell him how that moment made her despise prom and school dances. "She had everything planned for prom during her senior year of high school. Her boyfriend at the time told her he wouldn't be able to attend because of some family thing, but he was lying. And he didn't think that your mom would still show up anyway with her friend. It turns out, he had shown up with your mom's rival, and then straight up dumped her."</p>
<p>"I guess that's actually worse than rejection," muttered Nell.</p>
<p>"However, your mom said she did feel better when her friend and her friend's date decided to leave the prom with her that night and go to a movie instead," informed Shaun, thinking that maybe Nell spending some time with her friends would make her feel better. "Your mom said that she spent the night at her friend Brittany's house and she was her shoulder to cry on."</p>
<p>"What does this have to do with anything?" Nell asked.</p>
<p>"Well, if you still want to go to the dance..."</p>
<p>"I don't want to!"</p>
<p>"Okay, then. Maybe you and your friends could arrange something to do on Saturday at the time of the dance," suggested Shaun.</p>
<p>"We already did. We're all going to sleep over at Ophelia's," apprised Nell.</p>
<p>"Good," said Shaun, satisfied that his daughter still had friends she could spend time with. "Do you want to go for a walk?"</p>
<p>"Yes. That would be a great distraction."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Shaun and Nell's conversation during their walk helped Nell forget about her broken heart. However, that didn't stop Nell from asking her dad a question about his love life.</p>
<p>"I know the answer is probably 'no', but are you interested in anyone right now?" Nell asked, knowing that dating was something her dad wasn't prone to doing.</p>
<p>"Actually yes," admitted Shaun. "I think I like Natasha, the anesthesiologist."</p>
<p>"Didn't she already ask you out and you rejected?" Nell questioned, aware that Dr. Singh had already tried to ask her dad out on a date seven years ago.</p>
<p>"I think she still likes me. That's what a lot of people at St. Bonaventure are telling me. They say we have chemistry," shared Shaun. "And I actually might be interested in her this time. She was also the anesthesiologist that tried to administer your mom's epidural when you were born."</p>
<p>Nell was shocked that her dad was actually thinking of going back into the dating life. He was usually all like, "I have two full-time jobs, surgeon and dad. I don't have time for dating."</p>
<p>"I'm kind of nervous, though. The last time that I ever asked someone out was in my twenties," expressed Shaun.</p>
<p>"Well, then go ask her out then!" Nell encouraged. "If she'll make you happy, go ahead!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Nell's first day of high school.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, here is the final chapter. I know that it is short because this is more of an epilogue chapter and figuring out the perfect way to conclude this chapter was challenging. But I still hope you enjoy this :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shaun and Nell were sitting together at their apartment after her first day of high school. It was hard for Shaun to believe that his little peanut was officially a high school freshman.</p>
<p>He's watched her be born. He's watched her take her first steps. He's heard her say her first word. He's been there for her for every first day of school. He's helped her through a lot of the milestones in her life. It was too bad Lea never got to watch her daughter grow up and will never be there for the other milestones in her life.</p>
<p>And speaking of Lea, there was one thing that was different for this year compared to other years Shaun has raised Nell alone. As of now, Shaun was now in a committed relationship with Natasha Singh, one of St. Bonaventure's anesthesiologists. Last year, Shaun asked her out and she said yes.</p>
<p>What was also great is that Nell and Natasha got along very well. However, that didn't mean that Nell would ever forget Lea.</p>
<p>"So, how was your first day?" Shaun asked.</p>
<p>"It was fine," confessed Nell. "I like my geography teacher, Mr. Huston. He's funny."</p>
<p>"That's good."</p>
<p>"Also, the school has a history club and I'm thinking of joining it," shared Nell. "I'm also thinking of joining the garden and environmental club."</p>
<p>"That's awesome," praised Shaun. "I'm proud of you, and your mom would be proud of you, too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know these last couple chapters were rushed, but I really wanted to finish this story before the season premiere. So, that is the end of this story and I hope you all enjoyed it overall.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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